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Politeness. From our earliest years, if we had halfway decent parents, we were taught to be polite in some way.
Now I have no trouble with basic politeness; such as saying please and thank you or other things.
However I do have a problem with Uber-politeness.
For starters:
"How are you?"
I hate that question. You know why? Because I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER IT!!! Being in near-crippling pain 24/7 tends to lend a cynicism to the standard response "I'm fine." Maybe it's the asperger's syndrome, but I have a disdain for what should prolly be called "polite dishonesty." So when I'm really not feeling up to par I will instead go "erowr" or "tired". At least then I feel like I'm being honest.
And it's not just plain ordinary social interactions where "Uber-politeness" shows up. It shows up hardcore in.....
TABLE MANNERS.
Now I hate slobbishness and boorish behavior as much as the next normal person, but I also hate the OTHER extreme. What do I consider the OTHER extreme? Let's just call em table manners to p*ss people off by:
It's bad enough that the "proper" table setting seems geared for southpaws. I wouldn't mind if I WAS a southpaw, however I dislike this rigid adherence to something as "proper" when a mere reversal won't cause the universe to collapse. The fork on the right and the knife and spoon on the left? God forbid!!!
-Excessive insincere, unconvincing (to me) compliments to the cook or the host. (And the people I'm talking about, I've been around for 30 years and I know.) Like saying "mmm, delicious" more than once in a way that makes Shrapnel on Transformers seem more convincing when he says it. I mean, come on, once is ENOUGH, 3 or 4 times is too many, and it's not THAT good anyhow. (Usually but not always referring to food I made.) Don't insult my intelligence.
The corrollary to this is an extension and it encompasses a person's idea of what "tender" meat is. My granny has a terrible habit of cooking a relatively inexpensive cut of beef roast (like outside round) well done and then calling it tender! (other people do well done too and she calls it tender also...geez) I'm sorry, but meat (specifically beef) is NOT tender in my books if it's so dry you need gravy to make it palatable. It does not have to be "chewing gum" tough to qualify as tough as long as it's DRY (because DRYNESS takes away from any tenderness it may have had). Dammit, I want ACCURATE intel on the food, not another cheap excuse to make the host/cook feel better about themselves. I'd rather get no intel at all and see for myself. Who knows, maybe the 1930s def. of tender is prolly light years away from 21st century definition of "tender." But just because it ain't shoe leather doesn't mean it's tender...
Next up is the practice of "cleaning yer plate". I don't just mean eating all the food, I mean actually taking a piece of food (like bread); or (even WORSE), your fork, to get EVERY bit of material off the plate. To SEE anyone do this p*sses me off bigtime. I am not sure why about the first one--although with the fork it sounds like friggin nails on a chalkboard. Now I know some people grew up during the Depression and they were taught to clean their plates cuz of lack of food and old habits are hard to break. But dude, we ain't in the Depression no more...no need to be anal about it. (Did I mention that EVERYONE that I know who cleans their plate LITERALLY has a weight problem?)
Related to cleaning your plate is the practice of eating chili, soup, stew, etc by using bread or other food as a "spoon." That reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally annoys me for some reason. I don't even know if it's proper manners or not.
And then we have the uber-tablemanners of using your knife. The one that annoys me most is the practice of helping load your fork with your knife while "wiping off your knife (alternating sides of the knife while wiping it off)" onto the food. This is reaaaaaaaaaaally annoying to look at. This practice often entails loading more than one type of food onto the fork--stuff that IMHO don't belong on the same forkful. Roast potato and lettuce?! Salad dressing and baked chicken?? My god I can't stand to see that. Again, I am not sure why this drives me nuts, but it seems so...excessive to me. Like the person is showing off or something....
Another pet peeve is the practice of holding the knife after eating something you just cut. I KNOW this is proper table manners but I can't stand to do it myself and I'll be darned if I'm looking at anyone else do it. I can't explain it any better than I think it looks dumb. I'm not left-handed and I'll be darned if I'm gonna EAT lefthanded. It looks a lot better to me (properness notwithstanding) for someone to saw up all their cuttables and eat them after, and PUT DOWWWWWN THE KNIFE...geez.
Speaking of which, I also can't stand the "proper" way to hold a fork. I've tried it many times and it's just not comfortable for my semiarthritic hands--I cannot get a good grip on it that way. I hold it in my fist instead.
Stretching the truth (or perhaps even outright lying thru teeth?) to compliment a host or cook is not my style. If it's that bad I don't say anything. If it was passable or 3/4 decent I'll be like "S'alright."
A little outside the politeness sphere, I can't stand to watch people eat who hold their mouth open TOO LONG while conveying food therein. Especially if they've got a bit of a tremor to their neck, jaw or lips while holding it open. Heck, even when people aren't eating I can't stand to look at anyone who seems to have "Parkinson's of the lips." And I have seen a couple people (all old, prolly can't help it, but still...bleh.) who have such a condition.
End rant.
Now I have no trouble with basic politeness; such as saying please and thank you or other things.
However I do have a problem with Uber-politeness.
For starters:
"How are you?"
I hate that question. You know why? Because I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER IT!!! Being in near-crippling pain 24/7 tends to lend a cynicism to the standard response "I'm fine." Maybe it's the asperger's syndrome, but I have a disdain for what should prolly be called "polite dishonesty." So when I'm really not feeling up to par I will instead go "erowr" or "tired". At least then I feel like I'm being honest.
And it's not just plain ordinary social interactions where "Uber-politeness" shows up. It shows up hardcore in.....
TABLE MANNERS.
Now I hate slobbishness and boorish behavior as much as the next normal person, but I also hate the OTHER extreme. What do I consider the OTHER extreme? Let's just call em table manners to p*ss people off by:
It's bad enough that the "proper" table setting seems geared for southpaws. I wouldn't mind if I WAS a southpaw, however I dislike this rigid adherence to something as "proper" when a mere reversal won't cause the universe to collapse. The fork on the right and the knife and spoon on the left? God forbid!!!
-Excessive insincere, unconvincing (to me) compliments to the cook or the host. (And the people I'm talking about, I've been around for 30 years and I know.) Like saying "mmm, delicious" more than once in a way that makes Shrapnel on Transformers seem more convincing when he says it. I mean, come on, once is ENOUGH, 3 or 4 times is too many, and it's not THAT good anyhow. (Usually but not always referring to food I made.) Don't insult my intelligence.
The corrollary to this is an extension and it encompasses a person's idea of what "tender" meat is. My granny has a terrible habit of cooking a relatively inexpensive cut of beef roast (like outside round) well done and then calling it tender! (other people do well done too and she calls it tender also...geez) I'm sorry, but meat (specifically beef) is NOT tender in my books if it's so dry you need gravy to make it palatable. It does not have to be "chewing gum" tough to qualify as tough as long as it's DRY (because DRYNESS takes away from any tenderness it may have had). Dammit, I want ACCURATE intel on the food, not another cheap excuse to make the host/cook feel better about themselves. I'd rather get no intel at all and see for myself. Who knows, maybe the 1930s def. of tender is prolly light years away from 21st century definition of "tender." But just because it ain't shoe leather doesn't mean it's tender...
Next up is the practice of "cleaning yer plate". I don't just mean eating all the food, I mean actually taking a piece of food (like bread); or (even WORSE), your fork, to get EVERY bit of material off the plate. To SEE anyone do this p*sses me off bigtime. I am not sure why about the first one--although with the fork it sounds like friggin nails on a chalkboard. Now I know some people grew up during the Depression and they were taught to clean their plates cuz of lack of food and old habits are hard to break. But dude, we ain't in the Depression no more...no need to be anal about it. (Did I mention that EVERYONE that I know who cleans their plate LITERALLY has a weight problem?)
Related to cleaning your plate is the practice of eating chili, soup, stew, etc by using bread or other food as a "spoon." That reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally annoys me for some reason. I don't even know if it's proper manners or not.
And then we have the uber-tablemanners of using your knife. The one that annoys me most is the practice of helping load your fork with your knife while "wiping off your knife (alternating sides of the knife while wiping it off)" onto the food. This is reaaaaaaaaaaally annoying to look at. This practice often entails loading more than one type of food onto the fork--stuff that IMHO don't belong on the same forkful. Roast potato and lettuce?! Salad dressing and baked chicken?? My god I can't stand to see that. Again, I am not sure why this drives me nuts, but it seems so...excessive to me. Like the person is showing off or something....
Another pet peeve is the practice of holding the knife after eating something you just cut. I KNOW this is proper table manners but I can't stand to do it myself and I'll be darned if I'm looking at anyone else do it. I can't explain it any better than I think it looks dumb. I'm not left-handed and I'll be darned if I'm gonna EAT lefthanded. It looks a lot better to me (properness notwithstanding) for someone to saw up all their cuttables and eat them after, and PUT DOWWWWWN THE KNIFE...geez.
Speaking of which, I also can't stand the "proper" way to hold a fork. I've tried it many times and it's just not comfortable for my semiarthritic hands--I cannot get a good grip on it that way. I hold it in my fist instead.
Stretching the truth (or perhaps even outright lying thru teeth?) to compliment a host or cook is not my style. If it's that bad I don't say anything. If it was passable or 3/4 decent I'll be like "S'alright."
A little outside the politeness sphere, I can't stand to watch people eat who hold their mouth open TOO LONG while conveying food therein. Especially if they've got a bit of a tremor to their neck, jaw or lips while holding it open. Heck, even when people aren't eating I can't stand to look at anyone who seems to have "Parkinson's of the lips." And I have seen a couple people (all old, prolly can't help it, but still...bleh.) who have such a condition.
End rant.
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