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Pet peeves and the Uberness of Politeness

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  • Pet peeves and the Uberness of Politeness

    Politeness. From our earliest years, if we had halfway decent parents, we were taught to be polite in some way.
    Now I have no trouble with basic politeness; such as saying please and thank you or other things.

    However I do have a problem with Uber-politeness.

    For starters:

    "How are you?"

    I hate that question. You know why? Because I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER IT!!! Being in near-crippling pain 24/7 tends to lend a cynicism to the standard response "I'm fine." Maybe it's the asperger's syndrome, but I have a disdain for what should prolly be called "polite dishonesty." So when I'm really not feeling up to par I will instead go "erowr" or "tired". At least then I feel like I'm being honest.

    And it's not just plain ordinary social interactions where "Uber-politeness" shows up. It shows up hardcore in.....

    TABLE MANNERS.

    Now I hate slobbishness and boorish behavior as much as the next normal person, but I also hate the OTHER extreme. What do I consider the OTHER extreme? Let's just call em table manners to p*ss people off by:

    It's bad enough that the "proper" table setting seems geared for southpaws. I wouldn't mind if I WAS a southpaw, however I dislike this rigid adherence to something as "proper" when a mere reversal won't cause the universe to collapse. The fork on the right and the knife and spoon on the left? God forbid!!!

    -Excessive insincere, unconvincing (to me) compliments to the cook or the host. (And the people I'm talking about, I've been around for 30 years and I know.) Like saying "mmm, delicious" more than once in a way that makes Shrapnel on Transformers seem more convincing when he says it. I mean, come on, once is ENOUGH, 3 or 4 times is too many, and it's not THAT good anyhow. (Usually but not always referring to food I made.) Don't insult my intelligence.

    The corrollary to this is an extension and it encompasses a person's idea of what "tender" meat is. My granny has a terrible habit of cooking a relatively inexpensive cut of beef roast (like outside round) well done and then calling it tender! (other people do well done too and she calls it tender also...geez) I'm sorry, but meat (specifically beef) is NOT tender in my books if it's so dry you need gravy to make it palatable. It does not have to be "chewing gum" tough to qualify as tough as long as it's DRY (because DRYNESS takes away from any tenderness it may have had). Dammit, I want ACCURATE intel on the food, not another cheap excuse to make the host/cook feel better about themselves. I'd rather get no intel at all and see for myself. Who knows, maybe the 1930s def. of tender is prolly light years away from 21st century definition of "tender." But just because it ain't shoe leather doesn't mean it's tender...

    Next up is the practice of "cleaning yer plate". I don't just mean eating all the food, I mean actually taking a piece of food (like bread); or (even WORSE), your fork, to get EVERY bit of material off the plate. To SEE anyone do this p*sses me off bigtime. I am not sure why about the first one--although with the fork it sounds like friggin nails on a chalkboard. Now I know some people grew up during the Depression and they were taught to clean their plates cuz of lack of food and old habits are hard to break. But dude, we ain't in the Depression no more...no need to be anal about it. (Did I mention that EVERYONE that I know who cleans their plate LITERALLY has a weight problem?)

    Related to cleaning your plate is the practice of eating chili, soup, stew, etc by using bread or other food as a "spoon." That reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally annoys me for some reason. I don't even know if it's proper manners or not.

    And then we have the uber-tablemanners of using your knife. The one that annoys me most is the practice of helping load your fork with your knife while "wiping off your knife (alternating sides of the knife while wiping it off)" onto the food. This is reaaaaaaaaaaally annoying to look at. This practice often entails loading more than one type of food onto the fork--stuff that IMHO don't belong on the same forkful. Roast potato and lettuce?! Salad dressing and baked chicken?? My god I can't stand to see that. Again, I am not sure why this drives me nuts, but it seems so...excessive to me. Like the person is showing off or something....

    Another pet peeve is the practice of holding the knife after eating something you just cut. I KNOW this is proper table manners but I can't stand to do it myself and I'll be darned if I'm looking at anyone else do it. I can't explain it any better than I think it looks dumb. I'm not left-handed and I'll be darned if I'm gonna EAT lefthanded. It looks a lot better to me (properness notwithstanding) for someone to saw up all their cuttables and eat them after, and PUT DOWWWWWN THE KNIFE...geez.

    Speaking of which, I also can't stand the "proper" way to hold a fork. I've tried it many times and it's just not comfortable for my semiarthritic hands--I cannot get a good grip on it that way. I hold it in my fist instead.

    Stretching the truth (or perhaps even outright lying thru teeth?) to compliment a host or cook is not my style. If it's that bad I don't say anything. If it was passable or 3/4 decent I'll be like "S'alright."

    A little outside the politeness sphere, I can't stand to watch people eat who hold their mouth open TOO LONG while conveying food therein. Especially if they've got a bit of a tremor to their neck, jaw or lips while holding it open. Heck, even when people aren't eating I can't stand to look at anyone who seems to have "Parkinson's of the lips." And I have seen a couple people (all old, prolly can't help it, but still...bleh.) who have such a condition.

    End rant.

  • #2
    errr *splutter* . . . LOL

    Sheba!!! You forgot the people who SMACK WHEN THEY EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont care how you eat, how you hold your fork blabbidy blabbidy . . . but dear god, let me hear whats going on in your mouth and it just flatlines my brain ..................and I *WILL* say something about it.
    Ultra Magnus to Sandstorm. \"I\'ve never seen anything this beautiful in the entire galaxy. . . Alright, give me the bomb.\"

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    • #3
      Well, I don't mean to be rude, but:

      8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O !!!

      I'm a little scared now.

      D...
      "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Starscream
        errr *splutter* . . . LOL

        Sheba!!! You forgot the people who SMACK WHEN THEY EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont care how you eat, how you hold your fork blabbidy blabbidy . . . but dear god, let me hear whats going on in your mouth and it just flatlines my brain ..................and I *WILL* say something about it.
        Oh yeah I forgot, but that's bad manners anyhow...I was talking about things that p*ss me off that are GOOD manners... :twisted:

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        • #5
          Originally posted by DeeCrowSeer
          Well, I don't mean to be rude, but:

          8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O !!!

          I'm a little scared now.

          D...
          Why on earth are you scared by a little autism? ;) :twisted:

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          • #6
            Hehe,

            Sheba, my 9 year old son is autistic and has many problems associated with watching others eat (along with a host of other sensory issues). I think I know where you are coming from.

            Good rant though and many of those things bother me as well.
            When they had advanced together to meet on common
            ground, then there was the clash of shields, of spears
            and the fury of men cased in bronze; bossed shields met
            each other and the din rose loud. Then there were
            mingled the groaning and the crowing of men killed and
            killing, and the ground ran with blood.

            Homer, The Illiad

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Sheba
              The one that annoys me most is the practice of helping load your fork with your knife while "wiping off your knife (alternating sides of the knife while wiping it off)" onto the food.
              I live in the US and I was taught this was BAD manners. Deplorable, in fact. Oddly, my heritage is British. :roll:

              Originally posted by Sheba
              Another pet peeve is the practice of holding the knife after eating something you just cut. I KNOW this is proper table manners but...
              This, too, is considered bad manners according to my upbringing. Mom told me it looked like I was so famished I wasn't willing to set my knife down.

              I realize now that Mom just taught me to eat the way she wanted to see me eat. And I guess she had a lot of the same peeves as you, Sheba. :)
              "Wounds are all I'm made of. Did I hear you say that this is victory?"
              --Michael Moorcock, Veteran of the Psychic Wars

              Comment


              • #8
                Speaking of eating habits . . .

                If you have several different items on your plate, do you eat all of one item at a time and move onto something else or do you eat a bit of each different item till you are done? I was taught to enjoy all the food items politely at the same time but I have friends who like; eat the veggie first, then eat the meat, then eat the potatoes. That bugs me for some reason. Its like, WHY do I sit here and cordinate a meal in flavor and texture if you eat everything seperately . . .
                Ultra Magnus to Sandstorm. \"I\'ve never seen anything this beautiful in the entire galaxy. . . Alright, give me the bomb.\"

                Comment


                • #9
                  I know. I have friends who, when eating a fast-food burger meal, will consume the fries first, then the burger. They tell me it's because the fries taste like crap when they're cold, but I say that if you can't get a burger down your gullet before the fries go cold, perhaps you should purأ©e your burger and eat it through a straw! :lol:

                  I prefer the tastes of combined foods. I get a bite of steak and I'm already thinking, "Ooo, some of those taters and gravy would go great on top of this!
                  "Wounds are all I'm made of. Did I hear you say that this is victory?"
                  --Michael Moorcock, Veteran of the Psychic Wars

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Luckily I never eat in public, but I imagine my most annoying food-related habit would be that if I have something layered like lasagne or cannelloni, I'll eat it one layer at a time.... first the cheese on top, then the sauce, then the pasta, etc. Everytime I do it, I know that I'm a freak, but it's the only way I can eat those things. Everything else I'll happily mix and "smush" up, but Italian food brings out strange quirks in my behaviour. :oops:

                    [ahem]

                    I actually used to work with a wheel-chair-bound, deaf child who had poor eye-sight and strong autistic tendencies. Aah, good times!

                    D...
                    "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by PsychicWarVeteran
                      I prefer the tastes of combined foods. I get a bite of steak and I'm already thinking, "Ooo, some of those taters and gravy would go great on top of this!
                      :P Im the same way!!

                      And as for the hamburger/french frie thing. That makes no sense to me. If you only eat one item at a time then why order different items...bah....I tell you whats good...take the top bun off your hamburger, put a layer of french fries on it, put it back on and enjoy...thats really good. ^_^
                      Ultra Magnus to Sandstorm. \"I\'ve never seen anything this beautiful in the entire galaxy. . . Alright, give me the bomb.\"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Yeah, some burger joint should offer fries as a burger condiment -- put 'em on the burger for you. That place would make bank!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by DeeCrowSeer
                          Luckily I never eat in public, but I imagine my most annoying food-related habit would be that if I have something layered like lasagne or cannelloni, I'll eat it one layer at a time.... first the cheese on top, then the sauce, then the pasta, etc. Everytime I do it, I know that I'm a freak, but it's the only way I can eat those things. Everything else I'll happily mix and "smush" up, but Italian food brings out strange quirks in my behaviour. :oops:

                          [ahem]

                          I actually used to work with a wheel-chair-bound, deaf child who had poor eye-sight and strong autistic tendencies. Aah, good times!

                          D...
                          First I eat the top cheese layer then I take the layers apart on lasagne and eat all the cheese. Then I eat the pasta and sauce. I dont do that wtih every bite... I start off normally but before the meal is done, Ive disected my lasagne ^_^
                          Ultra Magnus to Sandstorm. \"I\'ve never seen anything this beautiful in the entire galaxy. . . Alright, give me the bomb.\"

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            That guest up there is me, by the way, Starscream. Login cookie failed on my system here at home, evidently.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Testing... do I even exist? Am I forever a guest? Why oh why?

                              Oh! I seem to have returned! :)
                              "Wounds are all I'm made of. Did I hear you say that this is victory?"
                              --Michael Moorcock, Veteran of the Psychic Wars

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