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Many people have given their valuable time to create a website for the pleasure of posing questions to Michael Moorcock, meeting people from around the world, and mining the site for information. Please follow one of the links above to learn more about the site.

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Reinart der Fuchs
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  • #16
    Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
    "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
    "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
    "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
    "---," said the angel, as he ---. The minister came out of --- with a --- and some ---. "Who cares?" he ---.

    Comment


    • #17
      Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
      "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
      "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
      "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
      "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "_____ this", he shouted. "Ive got better______ in my ______. If we go to ______ we'll most certainly find you a _______."

      Comment


      • #18
        Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
        "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
        "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
        "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
        "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "_____ this", he shouted. "I've got better stuff buriedin my garden, and besides,. If we go to the pentagon afterwards we'll most certainly find you a person who can see your anus"
        "But drugs are ---." said the boy. "If we go to the --- we can --- the --- and --- the ---." The minister, who actually had grown a third eye, pulled a --- from his pocket and ---.

        Comment


        • #19
          Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
          "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
          "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
          "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
          "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "_____ this", he shouted. "I've got better stuff buried in my garden, and besides, If we go to the pentagon afterwards we'll most certainly find you a person who can see your anus." "But drugs are too expensive." said the boy. "If we go to the thrift store we can try on the psychadelic trousers with the swirly pockets and scare all of the stupid old squares with our incredibly funky trousers." The minister, who actually had grown a third eye, pulled a bottle of bug-powder dust from his pocket and threw it in the boy's eyes. The angel was ________ and threw up his _______. The minister spoke quickly into a hidden ________ and proceeded to _________!
          "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

          Comment


          • #20
            Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
            "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
            "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
            "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
            "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "_____ this", he shouted. "I've got better stuff buried in my garden, and besides, If we go to the pentagon afterwards we'll most certainly find you a person who can see your anus." "But drugs are too expensive." said the boy. "If we go to the thrift store we can try on the psychadelic trousers with the swirly pockets and scare all of the stupid old squares with our incredibly funky trousers." The minister, who actually had grown a third eye, pulled a bottle of bug-powder dust from his pocket and threw it in the boy's eyes. The angel was scandalized and threw up his golden buttocks. The minister spoke quickly into a hidden star trek communicator and proceeded to be beamed up into space!
            "Well, I'll be ___" said the boy. "He wasn't a ___ after all. He was a ___!"

            Comment


            • #21
              Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
              "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
              "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
              "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
              "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "_____ this", he shouted. "I've got better stuff buried in my garden, and besides, If we go to the pentagon afterwards we'll most certainly find you a person who can see your anus." "But drugs are too expensive." said the boy. "If we go to the thrift store we can try on the psychadelic trousers with the swirly pockets and scare all of the stupid old squares with our incredibly funky trousers." The minister, who actually had grown a third eye, pulled a bottle of bug-powder dust from his pocket and threw it in the boy's eyes. The angel was scandalized and threw up his golden buttocks. The minister spoke quickly into a hidden star trek communicator and proceeded to be beamed up into space!
              Well, I'll be a Dingo said the boy. He wasn't a Cool collected business man after all, he was a Small furry creature who enjoyed Halibut snadwiches while listening toa chorus of monkeys, singing the Belgium National Anthem
              Indeed, said the Angel, apparently he liked --- in the mornings with the --- from --- and would engage in nefarious plots of a --- nature.[/b]

              Comment


              • #22
                Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
                "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
                "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
                "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
                "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "_____ this", he shouted. "I've got better stuff buried in my garden, and besides, If we go to the pentagon afterwards we'll most certainly find you a person who can see your anus." "But drugs are too expensive." said the boy. "If we go to the thrift store we can try on the psychadelic trousers with the swirly pockets and scare all of the stupid old squares with our incredibly funky trousers." The minister, who actually had grown a third eye, pulled a bottle of bug-powder dust from his pocket and threw it in the boy's eyes. The angel was scandalized and threw up his golden buttocks. The minister spoke quickly into a hidden star trek communicator and proceeded to be beamed up into space!
                "Well, I'll be a Dingo" said the boy. "He wasn't a Cool collected business man after all, he was a Small furry creature who enjoyed Halibut snadwiches while listening toa chorus of monkeys, singing the Belgium National Anthem"
                "Indeed, said the Angel, apparently he liked to play mini-golf in the mornings with the chinese secret agents from Russia and would engage in nefarious plots of a hamster-loving nature."
                "Well, I heard he --- to do --- in the --- with --- and some Ottakars book-monkeys." said his ---, ---, golden buttocks, protruding from a ---.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
                  "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
                  "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
                  "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
                  "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "_____ this", he shouted. "I've got better stuff buried in my garden, and besides, If we go to the pentagon afterwards we'll most certainly find you a person who can see your anus." "But drugs are too expensive." said the boy. "If we go to the thrift store we can try on the psychadelic trousers with the swirly pockets and scare all of the stupid old squares with our incredibly funky trousers." The minister, who actually had grown a third eye, pulled a bottle of bug-powder dust from his pocket and threw it in the boy's eyes. The angel was scandalized and threw up his golden buttocks. The minister spoke quickly into a hidden star trek communicator and proceeded to be beamed up into space!
                  "Well, I'll be a Dingo" said the boy. "He wasn't a Cool collected business man after all, he was a Small furry creature who enjoyed Halibut snadwiches while listening toa chorus of monkeys, singing the Belgium National Anthem"
                  "Indeed, said the Angel, apparently he liked to play mini-golf in the mornings with the chinese secret agents from Russia and would engage in nefarious plots of a hamster-loving nature."
                  "Well, I heard he likes to do the tango in the buff with Captain Kirk and some Ottakars book-monkeys." said his mother, who had entered the room and was now staring longingly at the Angels firm, golden buttocks, protruding from a slit in his robe.
                  The boy's mother rubbed her ____ and asked the Angel, "Could you _____ while I _____"? The Angel _____ at _____ and said, ______
                  When they had advanced together to meet on common
                  ground, then there was the clash of shields, of spears
                  and the fury of men cased in bronze; bossed shields met
                  each other and the din rose loud. Then there were
                  mingled the groaning and the crowing of men killed and
                  killing, and the ground ran with blood.

                  Homer, The Illiad

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
                    "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
                    "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
                    "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
                    "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "_____ this", he shouted. "I've got better stuff buried in my garden, and besides, If we go to the pentagon afterwards we'll most certainly find you a person who can see your anus." "But drugs are too expensive." said the boy. "If we go to the thrift store we can try on the psychadelic trousers with the swirly pockets and scare all of the stupid old squares with our incredibly funky trousers." The minister, who actually had grown a third eye, pulled a bottle of bug-powder dust from his pocket and threw it in the boy's eyes. The angel was scandalized and threw up his golden buttocks. The minister spoke quickly into a hidden star trek communicator and proceeded to be beamed up into space!
                    "Well, I'll be a Dingo" said the boy. "He wasn't a Cool collected business man after all, he was a Small furry creature who enjoyed Halibut snadwiches while listening toa chorus of monkeys, singing the Belgium National Anthem"
                    "Indeed, said the Angel, apparently he liked to play mini-golf in the mornings with the chinese secret agents from Russia and would engage in nefarious plots of a hamster-loving nature."
                    "Well, I heard he likes to do the tango in the buff with Captain Kirk and some Ottakars book-monkeys." said his mother, who had entered the room and was now staring longingly at the Angels firm, golden buttocks, protruding from a slit in his robe.
                    The boy's mother rubbed her large, wooden chest suggestively and asked the Angel, "Could you bend over a while while I sew that up for you?" The Angel stared at her for some time and said, "Is that a euphanism? Because I'm not from around here, you know."
                    The boy, totally ---, because he knew that --- was --- and ---- was ---, went to --- to kill some ---.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
                      "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
                      "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
                      "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
                      "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "_____ this", he shouted. "I've got better stuff buried in my garden, and besides, If we go to the pentagon afterwards we'll most certainly find you a person who can see your anus." "But drugs are too expensive." said the boy. "If we go to the thrift store we can try on the psychadelic trousers with the swirly pockets and scare all of the stupid old squares with our incredibly funky trousers." The minister, who actually had grown a third eye, pulled a bottle of bug-powder dust from his pocket and threw it in the boy's eyes. The angel was scandalized and threw up his golden buttocks. The minister spoke quickly into a hidden star trek communicator and proceeded to be beamed up into space!
                      "Well, I'll be a Dingo" said the boy. "He wasn't a Cool collected business man after all, he was a Small furry creature who enjoyed Halibut snadwiches while listening toa chorus of monkeys, singing the Belgium National Anthem"
                      "Indeed, said the Angel, apparently he liked to play mini-golf in the mornings with the chinese secret agents from Russia and would engage in nefarious plots of a hamster-loving nature."
                      "Well, I heard he likes to do the tango in the buff with Captain Kirk and some Ottakars book-monkeys." said his mother, who had entered the room and was now staring longingly at the Angels firm, golden buttocks, protruding from a slit in his robe.
                      The boy's mother rubbed her large, wooden chest suggestively and asked the Angel, "Could you bend over a while while I sew that up for you?" The Angel stared at her for some time and said, "Is that a euphanism? Because I'm not from around here, you know."
                      The boy, totally freaked out, because he knew that time was short and eggs was eggs, went to the toilet to kill some flies with his evil-acid urine. The boy's mother shouted after him: "Don't _____ with the _______, or you'll go blind!!" The Angel was feeling _______ about the whole _________ situation. The large, wooden chest began to __________ violently.
                      "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
                        "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
                        "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
                        "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
                        "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "Enough of this", he shouted. "I've got better stuff buried in my garden, and besides, If we go to the pentagon afterwards we'll most certainly find you a person who can see your anus." "But drugs are too expensive." said the boy. "If we go to the thrift store we can try on the psychadelic trousers with the swirly pockets and scare all of the stupid old squares with our incredibly funky trousers." The minister, who actually had grown a third eye, pulled a bottle of bug-powder dust from his pocket and threw it in the boy's eyes. The angel was scandalized and threw up his golden buttocks. The minister spoke quickly into a hidden star trek communicator and proceeded to be beamed up into space!
                        "Well, I'll be a Dingo" said the boy. "He wasn't a Cool collected business man after all, he was a Small furry creature who enjoyed Halibut snadwiches while listening toa chorus of monkeys, singing the Belgium National Anthem"
                        "Indeed, said the Angel, apparently he liked to play mini-golf in the mornings with the chinese secret agents from Russia and would engage in nefarious plots of a hamster-loving nature."
                        "Well, I heard he likes to do the tango in the buff with Captain Kirk and some Ottakars book-monkeys." said his mother, who had entered the room and was now staring longingly at the Angels firm, golden buttocks, protruding from a slit in his robe.
                        The boy's mother rubbed her large, wooden chest suggestively and asked the Angel, "Could you bend over a while while I sew that up for you?" The Angel stared at her for some time and said, "Is that a euphanism? Because I'm not from around here, you know."
                        The boy, totally freaked out, because he knew that time was short and eggs was eggs, went to the toilet to kill some flies with his evil-acid urine. The boy's mother shouted after him: "Don't clean out your eyes with the ice pick, or you'll go blind!!" The Angel was feeling sexed-up about the whole weapons of mass destruction situation. The large, wooden chest began to glow, and shook violently. Mom looked over at _____ and asked, "Could this be ______ and _____?" The boy and the Angel grabbed ______ and started to ______ all over the room. "Oh _____", said mom.
                        When they had advanced together to meet on common
                        ground, then there was the clash of shields, of spears
                        and the fury of men cased in bronze; bossed shields met
                        each other and the din rose loud. Then there were
                        mingled the groaning and the crowing of men killed and
                        killing, and the ground ran with blood.

                        Homer, The Illiad

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
                          "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
                          "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
                          "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
                          "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "Enough of this", he shouted. "I've got better stuff buried in my garden, and besides, If we go to the pentagon afterwards we'll most certainly find you a person who can see your anus." "But drugs are too expensive." said the boy. "If we go to the thrift store we can try on the psychadelic trousers with the swirly pockets and scare all of the stupid old squares with our incredibly funky trousers." The minister, who actually had grown a third eye, pulled a bottle of bug-powder dust from his pocket and threw it in the boy's eyes. The angel was scandalized and threw up his golden buttocks. The minister spoke quickly into a hidden star trek communicator and proceeded to be beamed up into space!
                          "Well, I'll be a Dingo" said the boy. "He wasn't a Cool collected business man after all, he was a Small furry creature who enjoyed Halibut snadwiches while listening toa chorus of monkeys, singing the Belgium National Anthem"
                          "Indeed, said the Angel, apparently he liked to play mini-golf in the mornings with the chinese secret agents from Russia and would engage in nefarious plots of a hamster-loving nature."
                          "Well, I heard he likes to do the tango in the buff with Captain Kirk and some Ottakars book-monkeys." said his mother, who had entered the room and was now staring longingly at the Angels firm, golden buttocks, protruding from a slit in his robe.
                          The boy's mother rubbed her large, wooden chest suggestively and asked the Angel, "Could you bend over a while while I sew that up for you?" The Angel stared at her for some time and said, "Is that a euphanism? Because I'm not from around here, you know."
                          The boy, totally freaked out, because he knew that time was short and eggs was eggs, went to the toilet to kill some flies with his evil-acid urine. The boy's mother shouted after him: "Don't clean out your eyes with the ice pick, or you'll go blind!!" The Angel was feeling sexed-up about the whole weapons of mass destruction situation. The large, wooden chest began to glow, and shook violently. Mom looked over at the Stunning example of lithe female ingenuity known coloquially as 'The Blender and asked Could this be used to dis-inergrate a small colony of pygmies? and thus saving the entire population of Peking from the ravages of Genital Warts? The Boy and the Angelgrabbed each other and started to wrestle each other in a completely asexual and comradely way "Oh Thats a nice way to get introduced in a non-homoerotic way"
                          "Well," said angel, "We Angels are completley lacking in---" Mom gazed at him in bewilderment, "But I thought you had huge---" she began "And thsat you enjoyed---, into willing female---,"
                          "Common ---," commiserated Angel.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
                            "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
                            "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
                            "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
                            "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "Enough of this", he shouted. "I've got better stuff buried in my garden, and besides, If we go to the pentagon afterwards we'll most certainly find you a person who can see your anus." "But drugs are too expensive." said the boy. "If we go to the thrift store we can try on the psychadelic trousers with the swirly pockets and scare all of the stupid old squares with our incredibly funky trousers." The minister, who actually had grown a third eye, pulled a bottle of bug-powder dust from his pocket and threw it in the boy's eyes. The angel was scandalized and threw up his golden buttocks. The minister spoke quickly into a hidden star trek communicator and proceeded to be beamed up into space!
                            "Well, I'll be a Dingo" said the boy. "He wasn't a Cool collected business man after all, he was a Small furry creature who enjoyed Halibut snadwiches while listening toa chorus of monkeys, singing the Belgium National Anthem"
                            "Indeed, said the Angel, apparently he liked to play mini-golf in the mornings with the chinese secret agents from Russia and would engage in nefarious plots of a hamster-loving nature."
                            "Well, I heard he likes to do the tango in the buff with Captain Kirk and some Ottakars book-monkeys." said his mother, who had entered the room and was now staring longingly at the Angels firm, golden buttocks, protruding from a slit in his robe.
                            The boy's mother rubbed her large, wooden chest suggestively and asked the Angel, "Could you bend over a while while I sew that up for you?" The Angel stared at her for some time and said, "Is that a euphanism? Because I'm not from around here, you know."
                            The boy, totally freaked out, because he knew that time was short and eggs was eggs, went to the toilet to kill some flies with his evil-acid urine. The boy's mother shouted after him: "Don't clean out your eyes with the ice pick, or you'll go blind!!" The Angel was feeling sexed-up about the whole weapons of mass destruction situation. The large, wooden chest began to glow, and shook violently. Mom looked over at the Stunning example of lithe female ingenuity known coloquially as 'The Blender and asked "Could this be used to dis-inergrate a small colony of pygmies? and thus saving the entire population of Peking from the ravages of Genital Warts?"
                            The Boy and the Angel grabbed each other and started to wrestle each other in a completely asexual and comradely way "Oh Thats a nice way to get introduced in a non-homoerotic way"
                            "Well," said angel, "We Angels are completley lacking in all forms of tofu or soya based products"
                            Mom gazed at him in bewilderment, "But I thought you had huge shares in the meat substitute industry in the far east." she began, "And that you enjoyed turning yourselves, into willing female slave labourers for minimum pay,"
                            "Common misconception," commiserated Angel, as he tookm out his --- and began to --- the --- "Actually, heaven runs the ---, in return for --- from the ---"

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
                              "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
                              "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
                              "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
                              "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "Enough of this", he shouted. "I've got better stuff buried in my garden, and besides, If we go to the pentagon afterwards we'll most certainly find you a person who can see your anus." "But drugs are too expensive." said the boy. "If we go to the thrift store we can try on the psychadelic trousers with the swirly pockets and scare all of the stupid old squares with our incredibly funky trousers." The minister, who actually had grown a third eye, pulled a bottle of bug-powder dust from his pocket and threw it in the boy's eyes. The angel was scandalized and threw up his golden buttocks. The minister spoke quickly into a hidden star trek communicator and proceeded to be beamed up into space!
                              "Well, I'll be a Dingo" said the boy. "He wasn't a Cool collected business man after all, he was a Small furry creature who enjoyed Halibut snadwiches while listening toa chorus of monkeys, singing the Belgium National Anthem"
                              "Indeed, said the Angel, apparently he liked to play mini-golf in the mornings with the chinese secret agents from Russia and would engage in nefarious plots of a hamster-loving nature."
                              "Well, I heard he likes to do the tango in the buff with Captain Kirk and some Ottakars book-monkeys." said his mother, who had entered the room and was now staring longingly at the Angels firm, golden buttocks, protruding from a slit in his robe.
                              The boy's mother rubbed her large, wooden chest suggestively and asked the Angel, "Could you bend over a while while I sew that up for you?" The Angel stared at her for some time and said, "Is that a euphanism? Because I'm not from around here, you know."
                              The boy, totally freaked out, because he knew that time was short and eggs was eggs, went to the toilet to kill some flies with his evil-acid urine. The boy's mother shouted after him: "Don't clean out your eyes with the ice pick, or you'll go blind!!" The Angel was feeling sexed-up about the whole weapons of mass destruction situation. The large, wooden chest began to glow, and shook violently. Mom looked over at the Stunning example of lithe female ingenuity known coloquially as 'The Blender and asked "Could this be used to dis-inergrate a small colony of pygmies? and thus saving the entire population of Peking from the ravages of Genital Warts?"
                              The Boy and the Angel grabbed each other and started to wrestle each other in a completely asexual and comradely way "Oh Thats a nice way to get introduced in a non-homoerotic way"
                              "Well," said angel, "We Angels are completley lacking in all forms of tofu or soya based products"
                              Mom gazed at him in bewilderment, "But I thought you had huge shares in the meat substitute industry in the far east." she began, "And that you enjoyed turning yourselves, into willing female slave labourers for minimum pay,"
                              "Common misconception," commiserated Angel, as he took out his thick, silky, wallet of heavenly-goodness and began to flip through the pictures, until he arrived at one of the meat processing plants operating in southern China. "Actually, heaven runs the slaughterhouses over in China and North Korea, in return for silly kung-fu movies from the Silly Kung-Fu Movie Corp. Ltd., LLC - with extra-silly dubbing in spanish, of course." "Let me show you this ____ that came from _____." The Angel ____ and ____ and then said to the boy, "Why don't you _____ while your mom and I _____ over there."
                              When they had advanced together to meet on common
                              ground, then there was the clash of shields, of spears
                              and the fury of men cased in bronze; bossed shields met
                              each other and the din rose loud. Then there were
                              mingled the groaning and the crowing of men killed and
                              killing, and the ground ran with blood.

                              Homer, The Illiad

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Once upon a time, there lived a boy that lived in utter despair. Every morning he would eat his breakfast and forget his pills. One morning he saw his Guardian Angel with a minister from the government. He pulled out a Turkey and Fed them both. They then proceeded to praise his generosity. But with a gesture of his hand, he stopped them and said, "Screw, you two. Think about the Pants that will unfold if you continue to cheat your way into the next level!"
                                "The kid is Fat!" said the angel. "The Atkins Group and the Richard Simmons Foundation will be very Angry! We must tell the president that the army of alien spaceships is going to invade!"
                                "Why should we tell him that?" asked the government minister, who was drunk and reeked of weed. "The fucker will only laugh and ask me to get high with him, and there's nothing we can do about the aliens, so let's just go back to the Whitehouse and burn those incriminating documents before the President wakes up and starts telling people what to do again."
                                "Now, that would be a great idea, but the Vice-President is lurking about and we all know he runs the government, no matter what the President says" The guardian angel strecthed out his wings and walked over to the window. "I miss Clinton. He always smiled and he always loved a good cigar. We had so much fun watching him from the heavens. Ah good times, good times." he said. "Oh well, no time to reminisce, we have to Empty our Bowels right away", the Angel said. "If we don't have a movement then the Balance of good and evil will be shifted forever." He then removed his robe to reveal a beautiful, golden, pair of buttocks. At this, the boy and the Minister decided not to tell him that they were in the wrong place, as the angel seemed so proud of his anatomy. Then the boy led the angel away to the bathroom while the Minister made some tea in the kitchen.
                                "Damn, I forgot my special anus wiping apparatus!" said the angel, as he Pulled his slacks back on. The minister came out of his daydreams with a start and some mild flatulence followed. "Who cares?" he said. As everyone in the room eyed him as if he had grown a third eye. "Enough of this", he shouted. "I've got better stuff buried in my garden, and besides, If we go to the pentagon afterwards we'll most certainly find you a person who can see your anus." "But drugs are too expensive." said the boy. "If we go to the thrift store we can try on the psychadelic trousers with the swirly pockets and scare all of the stupid old squares with our incredibly funky trousers." The minister, who actually had grown a third eye, pulled a bottle of bug-powder dust from his pocket and threw it in the boy's eyes. The angel was scandalized and threw up his golden buttocks. The minister spoke quickly into a hidden star trek communicator and proceeded to be beamed up into space!
                                "Well, I'll be a Dingo" said the boy. "He wasn't a Cool collected business man after all, he was a Small furry creature who enjoyed Halibut snadwiches while listening toa chorus of monkeys, singing the Belgium National Anthem"
                                "Indeed, said the Angel, apparently he liked to play mini-golf in the mornings with the chinese secret agents from Russia and would engage in nefarious plots of a hamster-loving nature."
                                "Well, I heard he likes to do the tango in the buff with Captain Kirk and some Ottakars book-monkeys." said his mother, who had entered the room and was now staring longingly at the Angels firm, golden buttocks, protruding from a slit in his robe.
                                The boy's mother rubbed her large, wooden chest suggestively and asked the Angel, "Could you bend over a while while I sew that up for you?" The Angel stared at her for some time and said, "Is that a euphanism? Because I'm not from around here, you know."
                                The boy, totally freaked out, because he knew that time was short and eggs was eggs, went to the toilet to kill some flies with his evil-acid urine. The boy's mother shouted after him: "Don't clean out your eyes with the ice pick, or you'll go blind!!" The Angel was feeling sexed-up about the whole weapons of mass destruction situation. The large, wooden chest began to glow, and shook violently. Mom looked over at the Stunning example of lithe female ingenuity known coloquially as 'The Blender and asked "Could this be used to dis-inergrate a small colony of pygmies? and thus saving the entire population of Peking from the ravages of Genital Warts?"
                                The Boy and the Angel grabbed each other and started to wrestle each other in a completely asexual and comradely way "Oh Thats a nice way to get introduced in a non-homoerotic way"
                                "Well," said angel, "We Angels are completley lacking in all forms of tofu or soya based products"
                                Mom gazed at him in bewilderment, "But I thought you had huge shares in the meat substitute industry in the far east." she began, "And that you enjoyed turning yourselves, into willing female slave labourers for minimum pay,"
                                "Common misconception," commiserated Angel, as he took out his thick, silky, wallet of heavenly-goodness and began to flip through the pictures, until he arrived at one of the meat processing plants operating in southern China. "Actually, heaven runs the slaughterhouses over in China and North Korea, in return for silly kung-fu movies from the Silly Kung-Fu Movie Corp. Ltd., LLC - with extra-silly dubbing in spanish, of course." "Let me show you this -HIGHLY DISTINGUISHED CHINAMAN THAT I KEEP CONCEALED IN THIS POCKET- that came from -A SMALL REGION OF NEPAL, COVERED IN PART BY DENSE FOREST AND COMPLETELY LACKING IN ANY KIND OF LITERARY SUB-CULTURE AND AN ALL-PERVADING SENSE OF THEIR OWN MORTALITY." The Angel -CAREFULLY REPLACED HIS CHINA DOLL- and -GAVE HIM A MILLION YEN FOR HIS STERLING WORK IN CRUSHING COMMUNISM IN THE NAME OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS MOST HOLY- and then said to the boy, "Why don't you -PHONE THE SAMARITANS- while your mom and I -DISCUSS THE PRICE OF OIL AND OTHER COMMODITIES AND THE DEGREDATION OF THE WESTERN WORLD WHILE NEGOTIATING STRENUOUSLY WITH THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT FOR A REDUCTION IN THE PRICE OF DUCK-BILLED-PLATYPUSS'S- over there."
                                "Fine said the boy," Turning to leave, "May I inquire as to what that --- is doing in the corner and when will the --- be coming to dress me as it's getting pretty cold standing here --- and pretending to be a --- while partaking in a relevant form of --- with a full supporitng cast of --- and ---?
                                By the way, do you like my mother in a --- way or merely enjoy casual ---?"[/b]

                                Comment

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