The Moorcock Inn

[white wolf's son]

The Trial of DasNDanger

TF, Bowmore onit's way to restock the gantry. Trial about to continue:


Lord Jagged Chief Justice: ' Phew, That's better, now where were we?'

Accused ' I'm innocent I tell ya, it was them goddamn Granbretanians '

Lawyer Sparrowhawk : ' M'Lord, My client merely wishes to express the fact that she was given the Ceshian coins by Davina who obtained them from the Wolf Granbretanians, she had no idea they were forged although she admittedly had them in her possession on a previous occasion. She had no idea there was a CCTV camera in the slot machine and tripped over the lump in the rug, accidentally slipping the coins into the machine and winning the Multiversal Jackpot.

Chief Justice: ' Who's Davina ? '

Questionable Barmaid Davina: ' Me M'Lord, What can I get ye ? '

Chief Justice : ' Erm, trial adjourned for another hour, or two....come and speak to me in chambers, my dear, oh .er. that charge dismissed as well '

Accused: ' See when this is finished, I'm having the lot of them, especially after they sent us to Klosterheim, pass that bottle of gin over, Warder!! '


Trial continues tomorrow with sensational testimony of....Lord Elric!!

[thingfish]

This stic..er trial is getting more interesting by the minute!
The only down side tonight is that that Cornelius fellow and his shady mate Collier are outside demanding petrol money to get home as we double booked the lounge with the sti..erm trial!!
Never mind at least the Glenlivet has arrived!

[Sparrowhawk]

Ooooh! This is getting interesting. Elric up on the witness stand. Things are looking good, das! I'm sure Elric will testify in your defense and we'll have all these troubles sorted by tomorrow.

And 500 silver pieces????!!!!! Oh, well. Just take it out of my share of the band's cut of the proceeds from the last few nights.

[dasNdanger]

Uh...oh.




das

[Sparrowhawk]

Now I'm getting a bit worried. Um, das, you don't seem very confident about Elric's testimony. Did you two have a bit of a falling out? Elric is going to be a friendly witness, isn't he. uh .... das? Is there something that I, as your defense counsel, should know? No, forget it, I'll do a better job if I know as little about the facts as possible.

[white wolf's son]

Now I'm getting a bit worried. Elric is going to be a friendly witness, isn't he. uh .... possible.

WWS/TF: ' Hee hee hee hee hee.................

[dasNdanger]

Sparrowhawk...

It all depends...

on whether or not...

he finds out about me and...

Hathaway.

das

[Sparrowhawk]

Oh...

We're doomed.

[thingfish]

Doomed?
Never SH,like all decent show trials you'll get a suspended sentence and be back on stage in no time!
If you want there are plenty of little concoctions behind the bar,that,for a very small charitable donation,could find their way into the judges coffee!!
Personally i have a triple Ardbeg with my name on it.

[dasNdanger]

TF - Off-topic for a minute. I have heard of Ardbeg, but haven't (yet) been able to find it in the States. How does it compare to Lagavulin and Laphroaig?

Oh...and I just found out that I'm running a 101 degree fever. Suddenly I feel a bit like Elric! I sure hope this isn't pig flu!

I'm off to bed. I wonder if Elric...or Zenith...or, perhaps, Hathaway...is available for a little warming cuddle? I need someone to break this fever for me!

Just what I need, Sparrow, after the pneumonia and everything else I went through last winter, eh? I swear I have no immune system left!

Bring me that black blade! Let it feed and make me strong!

Okay...who's first? Where's that obnoxious Ramsay feller?

das

[Sparrowhawk]

Hmmmm. Maybe just a little something to make the Chief Justice a bit more relaxed and happy and willing to let das off with a warning.... And send Davina out with something for me as well. My throat is parched from all this lawyering!

das, just hang in there and we'll start lining them up for you. I think that Ramsay and that other nasty fella - wot'sisname - Simon Cowell, were in the audience yesterday watching the trial.

Yo, Elric! das needs to borrow that sword of your for a few minutes, she's feeling a bit under the weather and needs a little pick-me-up! A hot toddy and a couple of souls ought to have her right as rain in no time.

Take care, das! Hope you feel better soon.

[AllenBG]

Yes, get better soon, my friend, we need to be getting on with rehearsing the band now you've escaped those trumped up charges - and we need the phone number of the absinthe wholesaler which you have on speed-dial!

Take care of that throat, we need your husky gurgle to cover my random guitar noises!!

[thingfish]

Firstly and foremostly,get well soon Das!
If you like Lagavulin you will love Ardbeg.
I would put it somewhere in between Lagavulin and Laphroaig,not as peaty as the latter and not as salty as the former.
The aftertaste reminds me almost of sherry.
My favourite Islay(at the moment!)
In fact a few wee nips of that right now would probably help you get a good sleep.

[white wolf's son]

The Trial of DasNDanger

Due to one of the Seven Brothers taking a fit and passing over the roof at close height, we lost electrics yesterday and there was no way were doing this by candlelight. Apart from that we couldn't get Lord Jagged out of chambers with Davina, he also had the Pan Tang Pole Dancer in there.

Proceedings resume today; allenBG...Das has NOT been cleared of trumped charges, TF and I fitted them ourselves....er we rfeceived complaints from noted members of the Multiverse! Anyway, the trial resumes: First on.....................Lord Elric!!!


Chief Justice: Are you the albino Das mentally scarred?

Sparrowhawk: Objection, there is no eveidence my client turned the witness into a spell casting, sword weilding, soul stealing moody boots!

Chief Justice: Objection sustained! Are you him anyway?

Elric: I am Elric, Last emperor of the Bright Empire, Lord of the Dreaming City, Holder of the Ruby Throne...

Sparrowhawk: Objection! M'Lord, I have it on record that the witness pawned the Ruby Throne in Jharkor three weeks ago to pay off a gambling debt.

Elric: I am Prince of Ruins, KInslayer....

Chief Justice: Very Well, we know who you are. Are you a regular in the Moorcock Inn?

Elric: Well, I do like a brood or ten in the corner.

Moonglum: Lord Elric, that wench with the horns andbattleaxe looks a comely one, mayhap it's alright if I have a dalliance or two with her?

Sparrowhawk: You leave Kat alone, she's just had a flamingo burger.

Chief Justice: Lord Elric, is the accused guilty of the charges?

Elric: Look, I really don't know what I am doing here, one minute I'm tied to a mast, then I'm dreaming for a thousand years, then I get hit for alimony for two albino kids who look a bit like me but I think I might have been on the Dragon's Venom because only Melniboneans are immune...

TF: Er....WWs did he say ONLY melniboneans are immune?

TF: WWS, Where are you going with the takings from the Dragonsfire cocktails? WWS...hello?

Chief Justice: Lord Elric, do you recognise the accused DasNDanger?

Lord Elric: Is that the wild eyed wench on the block with the hangman waiting impatiently behind her?

Chief Justice: Is that he woman who terrified the dreaded Prince of Ruins?

Lord Elric: Don't know about ruining me but that's that's not the one with the whip and that mad red gear, although the Das thing is not too bad either, now I see her in the light.

Chief Justice: We have a statement from Lord Mosley that the accused has an avatar who is exactly like the wench you describe?

Sparrowhawk: Objection: M'Lord, Das has never looked like that, we've been on loads of mad nights out and she's never been like that...well maybe a bit on one occasion when she was out of it and fell for a Troog....

Lord Elric: Can I go back to brooding corner now?

Chief Justice: As you cannot identify the accused, despite the overwhelming evidence and the suborned jury, I have no choice but to dismiss all charges and go for a severe bucket. apart from that I really am Lord Arioch and can do what the hell I like?

Kat: Did somebody ask for a rock, I've got this big gold thing I tookfrom a small red headed guy who tried to chat me up there, he's unconscious in the car park?

Cheif Justice: Case Dismissed!!! Time for a right good drink, Das, and the Deep Thicks' new single, straight fromthe Queen of Swords...Tie Your Mabden Down!!

[white wolf's son]

TF, I got rid of the Dragonsfire evidence, don't think we done in too many, although there a few lumps under the carpet in the TV lounge now....anyway, Kat's on a rampage since Das was cleared, Ramsay and Cowell WERE in the audience cackling insanely,when the verdict was announced Kat took then both on, Cowell is hanging upside down from the rafters by his waistband being tortured by wind demon....she just punched Ramsay out again. However, they're now having a party to celebrate and expect free drink....we have to get them into the concept of handing over their cash FREELY, then they can have a free drink. Don't think we're going to get away with that one. Anyway, now the trial's finished, time for a few of those Ardbegs on ice ( Kat I NEVER said ROCKS!!! put it down!!! ).

Party's on!!!