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The Moorcock Inn

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  • Originally posted by Ziggy the Blue View Post
    Perhaps somthing salty and cut from a pig to accompany it.
    I'm afraid Bladnoch Bess is now taken, Ziggy.

    Originally posted by Ziggy the Blue View Post
    ....folks laying around the bar stools crying for mercy....
    Don't be put off by them Ziggy. it happens every time Thingfish has a go at the karaoke. They'll be back on their feet within the week.

    A pint of Arthur coming up. And I'll join you in a breakfast pint too.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by dasNdanger View Post
      Blushing, Sparrow - what about the BLUSHING??!!!

      *hic*



      das
      Ah, das, that would be telling and you know I am the soul of discretion and not given to spoilers.


      Also, I enjoy driving you a little crazy.
      Last edited by Sparrowhawk; 05-05-2012, 06:28 PM. Reason: addition

      It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters, in the end. ~ Ursula K. LeGuin

      Comment


      • I'm afraid the the Shankly Suite was not the place to be last night. For an hour pints were being spilled, money was being passed to the wrong hands and the bar staff conceded two sloppy free rounds.

        Eventually things got better when the pony tailed one entered the fray and the bar staff got one back by overcharging a wealthy russian for a cheap round. At one point it looked to be all square when the pony tailed one appeared to have passed some dodgy money, but the customer spotted it just in time and the Cech bounced. So sadly, it was not to be and after TF had called time the till still wouldn't add up. And so the Mighty Red Army returns home to lick its wounds and prepare for the next party.

        Some good news however. In the post party wash-up, bar line technology is to be introduced next season to ensure that the correct drinks have been served and the correct money changes hands. At least this will rule out the constant arguments.

        JFT96YNWA

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        • Porcus, I'm really more worried as to why Das and Sparrowhawk are blushing......I mean THOSE TWO BLUSHING ??????? They must be up to something really nefarious, so I think we better warn Elric ( again ) and hide the crisps and Drambuie.....we still have the multiversal Injunction after their last exploit and the blood hasn't washed away completely yet.....meantime I'll have three of TF's famous Spleen Shudderers and a Pan Tang Pole Dancer with bad eyesight and equally bad taste in ageing Moorcockians !!!!!


          , [Ok Emerson ...oot the motor !!!!

          Comment


          • Ah thats the spirit Wolfie those spleen shudderers have been going like hot cakes so get in there quick!
            The reason the bar was short was that i hired the time machine from a fairly upset scouse lady called Una something or other.
            I got it cheap as long as i nipped back to 1969 and brought Tommy Smith to do what he does best on diver drogba but the bloody thing broke down so i set Das and SH on her!
            Sorry about the atmosphere when you came in Ziggy,as PV says,i cant resist a bit of Gloria Gaynor of a wet wednesday eve!
            "I hate to advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone,but they've always worked for me"

            Hunter S Thompson

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            • TF, Hilarious, Glroia Gaynor will never sound the same, especially after Porcus's rendition !!! I also remember Snake Bites very well, I was 17, so was she.....she was also a bit like Bladnoch Bess which probably explains why I am in need of therapy today !!!!! Anyway, another three Spleen Shudderers, we'll make a packet at the Multiversal Olympics with them alone !!!!

              P.S. ALL GLORIA GAYNOR SONGS ARE BANNED AT THE MULTIVERSAL OLYMPICS, ESPECIALLY IF PORCUS GOES ON STAGE AND DAS/SH STAR IN BACKING VOCALS.......the horror......the horror...the horror !!!!! Where'es those Spleen Shudderers ?????


              , [Ok Emerson ...oot the motor !!!!

              Comment


              • They are coming right up Wolfie,but pray tarry a while as im laying on a special treat for the regulars this week,none other than the oft talked about but rarely seen Pancreas Pulverisers,which,when drank with a straw(steel obviously)actually sends various organs straight to the second ether!They make even Bess look less scary after half a dozen and i will survive sounds almost symphonic after four!
                But most mouth watering is the 80% mark up erm...profit for charitable causes of course!
                "I hate to advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone,but they've always worked for me"

                Hunter S Thompson

                Comment


                • Originally posted by white wolf's son View Post
                  TF, Hilarious, Glroia Gaynor will never sound the same, especially after Porcus's rendition !!!
                  They don't call me Glorious Gloria Gaynor The Damned for nothing I'll have you know!

                  Just got back from the final trip to Anfield of the season and a fine 4-1 stuffing of Chelsea it was too. Some small consolation for Saturday's debacle.

                  Anyway, the Shankly Suite will be in profit again tonight, as long as the scallies are kept away from the the optics and don't try any funny business with Mr Bladnoch Bess's suit of armour. He's still hiding in it apparently.

                  A very large Highland Park to accompany the one I'm already clutching please.

                  Comment


                  • Three Pancreas Pulverisers to start with please. It looks like we'll have to build an extension to the Von Bek conservatory as the Multiversal Olympics tickets are selling like mad, so we'll need more space. The Pan Tang girls are bringing their cousins from Elwher over as well so we need to have a few more poles installed ( TF STAY OFF THE POLES, LAST TIME YOU TRIED IT IT TOOK US THREE WEEKS TO GET YOU BACK DOWN FROM THE CEILING !! ).

                    Anyway, I'll have a Spleen Shudderer and a bottle of Glen Morangie Nectar D'Or in Brooding Corner.........I'm still wondering what Das and Sparrowhawk are up to.........!!!!!


                    , [Ok Emerson ...oot the motor !!!!

                    Comment


                    • Ah healthy appetite there Wolfie,comin right up my man.
                      Building a conservatory?
                      We'll never get planning permission so why not just knock a wall down.
                      Good for the budget and keeps the Granbretanians busy in between culls.
                      "I hate to advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone,but they've always worked for me"

                      Hunter S Thompson

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                      • I've had a press release from the Inn's management and it contains some worrying news, I'm afraid.

                        It appears that the Shankly Suite will be closed for business for an unspecified period. The most recent incumbent of the managerial swivel chair, Kinky Knee Dogleash, has been fired after a string of poor Saturday night takings and the woeful mishandling of the Bladnoch Bess sexism case.

                        Media gossips have identified a number of possible candidates to replace Mr Dogleash, including AVB, BJH, M&S and Puppy La Guardia but the management team are remaining tight lipped about their options.

                        The Shankly Suit will re-open once it is under new management.

                        (A translation of this piece of twaddle for those not familiar with English football silliness is available for the price of a pint of Arthur.)

                        Comment


                        • While the Shankly Suite is closed, we've started work on the new conservatory.....well TF was on a bender after he found the Glenmorangie Finealta stash.......it involved lots of swearing and roaring around on his wee scooter until he eventually crashed into the back wall and knocked it down, he's now scouring the Moonbeam Road scrapyards to try and blag...er find some nice glass windows and doors. Meantime, I'll have a London Pride unjtil TF returns.


                          , [Ok Emerson ...oot the motor !!!!

                          Comment


                          • Well you know Wolfie,what with it being an olympic year and all,to the untrained eye thats probably what it looked like but that was actually my stab at glory in the second ether synchronised wormhole rodeo event.
                            Went quite well i came in a respectable -342/10 which earned me a cadmium medal and a tufty club subscription for life!
                            Happy days!
                            "I hate to advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone,but they've always worked for me"

                            Hunter S Thompson

                            Comment


                            • TF, As long as Das and SH don't enter the Games, we'll maybe have the Amelia Underwood conservatory finished ( now that you've started work we contracted it out to some Granbretanian slaves who work for nothing so we'll just shove in a massive expenses claim and flip the mortgage to the bijou flat in Imryrr......... ) er.....we'll make sure it's all done ' within the rules ' !!!! When the Multiversal Olympics begin, we have to ensure that Das and SH don't get any licences for the bubble wrapping moonbeam hurdles. We've coopted the Granbretanian slaves into building the Michael Moorcock Olympian Stadium as well, Porcus is going to bring the torch via a pub tour of London and the South Coast so the opening ceremony will probably be delayed !!!! Anyway, a vat of Theakstons to keep us going with all this expenses paperwork !!!!


                              , [Ok Emerson ...oot the motor !!!!

                              Comment


                              • There is only one story in the news today. The Shankly suite has been re-opened under new management. After an extensive search that stretched from Wigan to the Wirral and from Southport to Swansea, the Inn is delighted to announce the appointment of Mr Bren Gun Rodriguez. Expectations of Mr Rodriguez's capabilities are being set deliberately low so that when he does fail we can say we told you so.

                                Also in the news (I know!), the progress of the Multiversal Olympic flame has been hampered somewhat by the carrier's arrest for singing football songs at a WI meeting. After making it from Brighton along the coast to And Hove Albion, Porcus Volans (me) was heard to say, "Gerroff me ciggie lighter y'bassard. 's my ciggie lighter. F'koff and get yer own."

                                Mr Volans (me) was released from the cells this morning, briefly sober; the torch was re-lit and he was sent on his way to the Red Lion in Crawley for the next leg of his journey.

                                Comment

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