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The Moorcock Inn

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  • Hey Tom, how you doing? They do serve Whitbread's Tedious Old Stoatery down at the Tolkien Tavern, but not here at the Moorcock Inn.

    We've put the Shankly Suite back together after the carnage of Bladnoch Bess's wedding. It turns out that the unwitting groom was a young lad from Ingleton who fancied himself as a bit of a Moorcock afficianado. He was labouring under the misaprehension that Bess was a character from a previously unpublished novella that Mike had kept under wraps for fear of parliamentary censure.

    Sadly, he may live to regret his decision for a very long time.

    I'll have a pint of Wherry and a very large Highland Park to commiserate.

    Slainte
    Let me tell you a story 'bout a poor boy....

    Comment


    • BANG !!!! Oh No, that's the doors off the hinges again....oh well,, HI everyone, sorry but haven't been too well for a while, ( consequence of my last enployment but well on the mend now ), so if we can open up the London Pride flagons and the Glenmorangie 30 year old barrells, I'll feel back to normal pretty quickly. Pity I missed Bess's wedding, however, Porcus, we have managed to submit a DNA test after you fell asleep in the Shankly Suite ( the dreaded Shepherd Neames spitfire real ale really hit you !!! ) and Das covered the glass in bubble wrap to keep it sterile for the Miscellany lab boffins.......the world awaits the result in awe.........also TF's multi coloured socks have been declared as weapons of mass destruction by the UN and he has been banned from wearing them....I think the UN doesn't realise the multiverse isn't part of it so maybe we should send some of TF's 10 year old unwashed Dundonian woolies to them. Anyway, that London Pride was real good, it's great to be back but...........who employed the Jarkhorian Pole Dancers, they're not a patch on the Pan Tang Girls ???? I think Pram Thing may be needed back here to get rid of them so we can have some proper dancing again. Cheers everyone, I feel better already !!!


      , [Ok Emerson ...oot the motor !!!!

      Comment


      • Originally posted by porcus_volans View Post
        Hey Tom, how you doing? They do serve Whitbread's Tedious Old Stoatery down at the Tolkien Tavern, but not here at the Moorcock Inn.
        Not so bad, thanks PV - the hat's generally on the side of my head, and I hope yours is likewise.

        I'm now back in the strong and loving arms of full-time employment, which is good in terms of money and security (especially after wifey's biggest freelance gig came to a halt), but a bit of a drag after I'd got quite acclimatised to my enhanced leisure lifestyle (sponsored by ITV4).

        Do you reckon it's too early to start plotting a visit to this year's GBBF (7-11 August)?

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Tom Murphy View Post
          I'm now back in the strong and loving arms of full-time employment...
          I'm terribly sorry to hear that, Tom. You poor devil. I'll have to continue carrying the flag for freelancery, at least until the court of public opinion decides it's too much of a tax dodge and we're all forced back to PAYE jobs for life and the struggle up the greasy poll (or greasy Pole in some cases).

          Originally posted by Tom Murphy View Post
          Do you reckon it's too early to start plotting a visit to this year's GBBF (7-11 August)?
          It's never too early for a good plot, especially if it involves beer.

          Details are here - http://gbbf.org.uk/ - normal procedure is Wednesday night for a warm up and all day Friday, but that could be open to change if needed.

          Let's see who puts their hands up to come and join us.
          Let me tell you a story 'bout a poor boy....

          Comment


          • Porcus, I would be up for it but unfortunately I have to be here in Espana so I'll have to virtualy join you from here, I 'll start with the village bar then head into the town, the Chaos Queen might not catch me for days !!!! Hee hee hee !!!


            , [Ok Emerson ...oot the motor !!!!

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            • Hey Wolfie!!

              Good to see ya back!

              I take it the field work and research for The Inn was fruitful?

              Slainthe!
              "I hate to advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone,but they've always worked for me"

              Hunter S Thompson

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              • Originally posted by thingfish View Post
                I take it the field work and research for The Inn was fruitful?
                If all Woolfie has brought back with him is fruit we'll have to review next year's research budget. Unless it's in fermented liquid form, of course.
                Let me tell you a story 'bout a poor boy....

                Comment


                • The tanker of very best Spanish fermented grape Emparado white vino is outside in the car park at the moment, i am trying to prise TF off the tap so we can fill the vats and start selling the stuff. Bladnoch Bess has demanded a vat all to herself as she is still recovering from the wedding nuptials but I don't think we'll argue with her at the moment. Anyway, thats TF off the tanker tap but it looks like we'll have to order another one, it's now half empty !!!

                  In the meantime, I'll have some of that London Pride, barkeep !!!


                  , [Ok Emerson ...oot the motor !!!!

                  Comment


                  • Like any quality control dept worth its salt i decided that seeing as the stuff is going to be consumed in large amounts thats its only fair that it be tested in said amounts!

                    .....hic....yep that'll do!
                    "I hate to advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone,but they've always worked for me"

                    Hunter S Thompson

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                    • TF, I have the Chaos Twins and Xiombarg Junior tramping on the grapes in the front garden vat as we speak, so the tankers should be ready for departing soon. The Chaos Queen refused to take part in the wine making, she, like you, insists on quality control so it's a wonder there's any left to export.....except when she's unconscious !!!!!!! TF, I think maybe we could take some funds for a fact finding trip around the London pubs during the Olympics, purely for charity purposes and nothing to do with having a freebie and then sending in an application to host the first Multiversal Olympics at the Inn ( just think of the bloodshed alone if we let the Granbretanians loose !!! ) . Maybe we could get Porcus to tag along but we better keep it quiet from Das and Sparrowhawk, we don't any more injunctions like they had during the scooter rampage around the distilleries !!!!

                      Anyway, that's the emparado fleet of tankers on their way, the Chaos Twins are now raiding next door's vineyards so we'll have plenty for the next batch !!!! Meantime, I'll have some the hidden Younger's Number 3 and a vat of smirnoff blue label......and don't forget the Pan Tang girl.

                      P.S. TF/Porcus, Davina the Barmaid/person is complaining she hasn't been paid for three years, I've told her to take it up with the Human Resources rep....Bladnoch Bess !!!! Uh oh !!!!


                      , [Ok Emerson ...oot the motor !!!!

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                      • Ah fact-funds.......my favourites!!

                        Now i hope you have strong boots for yer workers Wolfie!

                        Yeah Yeah lets have the multiversal olympics on a weekly league-like basis and really give Bess a work-out!
                        "I hate to advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone,but they've always worked for me"

                        Hunter S Thompson

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by thingfish View Post
                          ?...and really give Bess a work-out!
                          I advise against this in the strongest possible terms. The last guy who tried, the current Mr Bess, has, since their recent nuptials, refused to leave the safety of his suit of armour. The visor stays firmly shut and the only noises that can be heard are fragments like, '...please God, not again...','...Simon Cowell said it would improve my career...','...that's not what it said on the tin...' and '...not in here, it's too dark...'.

                          Even TF's strong boots will not offer the sort of protection that Health and Safety will demand before the task can be undertaken.
                          Let me tell you a story 'bout a poor boy....

                          Comment


                          • Porcus, I fear for Mr. Bess, his Good Lady has been spotted prowling about the Shankly Suite and Brooding Corner with an electric can opener, I think he's just lucky she hasn't found anywhere to plug it in !!!!


                            , [Ok Emerson ...oot the motor !!!!

                            Comment


                            • He was sitting in Trumpton Corner, over by the juke box, with Elric last night sucking pints of Arthur through his visor with a straw.

                              He's fairly safe as I'm pretty sure there are no sockets over there, at least judging by the state of the carpet and the lack of evidence of a hoover ever being nearby. You just can't get the staff nowadays.

                              I'm off to the Shankly Suite to watch Barca teach Chelsea a lesson or two.

                              A pint of Arthur over here when you're ready please!
                              Let me tell you a story 'bout a poor boy....

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by porcus_volans View Post
                                I'm off to the Shankly Suite to watch Barca teach Chelsea a lesson or two.
                                The lesson was in how not to roll around like you'd been shot.
                                Let me tell you a story 'bout a poor boy....

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