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The Moorcock Inn

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  • ...AND YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE, YOU'LL NEVER WALK....

    Sshhh! Sshhh! Shut the door. We don't want any of dem other pissheads back 'ere. We've been told to stay in the Shankly Suite if we want to celebrate or some wierd bird called Bess or something'll have our balls fer earrings.

    Dat Thingfish fella said that once the Guinness runs out we're to come in here and re-direct de pumps for dis bar to de one in dere. I didn't think we'd drink de place dry so quick like. Dere's only Fosters left and I wouldn't pour dat on a birnin' dog.

    Holy shit! What's dat? Is 'e alive or is 'e some sort of dummy? You don't see many fella's as white as 'im. 'es scarier dan Tommy Smith. Look at dat sword. Don't touch 'im! Shit! 'e moved! Run!

    ...GERRARD, GERRARD. 'E'LL PASS DER BALL FORTY YARDS....<SLAM!>

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    • ...

      Is it March already?- i need a pint or three. Someone else had better do Santa this year because that gig in this tavern just about tops it for surrealism...it would pulverize Dali. Cheers Thingfish ,PV and all other friends and fiends here !
      Mwana wa simba ni simba

      The child of a lion is also a lion - Swahili Wisdom

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      • ...

        Speaking of artists, i propose that should Damien Hirst show his face in this drinkden we should as one pour the dreaded Fosters lager on him rather than the aforementioned burning dog. That Diamond Skull was a bit much and spare me displays of critters in glass. Right...i'm off...

        Later: Oh Nix that idea,i'm not buying bloody Fosters for any purpose...I do miss the days when Art and Taxidermy were different beasts.
        Last edited by Kymba334; 03-02-2012, 01:48 AM.
        Mwana wa simba ni simba

        The child of a lion is also a lion - Swahili Wisdom

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        • No worries Kymba if its going over Hirst then they are on me!!

          I know,what happened to January and February,one minute it was xmas the next minute its now!

          No watery lager for me tonight either but if you can climb over certain denizens of The Shankly Lounge(you know who you all are!)then feel free to indulge in the Talisker Brown Labels i am lining up.
          "I hate to advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone,but they've always worked for me"

          Hunter S Thompson

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          • TF, where've you been? It's been your shot on the pool table for the last 3 months. You're on yellows.

            Apparently Elric's been complaining that some little scallies sneaked in after hours last Sunday night and tried to nick Stormbringer. He said they had skinhead haircuts and were wearing curious suits made of some crinkley blue material. He described their accents as "outlandish". I can't imagine who they were.

            I did hear a rumour that Damien Hirst came up with his idea for some of his dismembered animals after a night on the razzle with Elric at London Zoo.

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            • Makes sense PV!

              My time has been taken up with following Dundee FC in the second ether champions league where they pluckily made the semi's beating Barcelona 7-0 only to be humped by The Blue Brazil(cowdenbeath)in the final!

              Bloody Fifers!!

              Anyway,wheres that case of 'Old Putrid' de-mobilising ale that we were keeping for a rainy day?
              Hope the scallies nicked it.
              That'll teach 'em.
              Erm...im sure i was on red,didnt i pull off a 'Bertie Russell Masse shot'(with a touch of reverse side) before i went swanning off?
              Last edited by thingfish; 03-03-2012, 05:37 PM.
              "I hate to advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone,but they've always worked for me"

              Hunter S Thompson

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              • Moonglum,,,

                I have a 1st edition Archival Press of The Vanishing Tower...

                I read it again and have re-caught the bug! :)

                Are there any more like this? anyone know?

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                • Originally posted by thingfish View Post
                  Erm...im sure i was on red,didnt i pull off a 'Bertie Russell Masse shot'(with a touch of reverse side) before i went swanning off?
                  Definitely yellows TF. All 10 of them are still on the table.

                  Apparently Google are thinking of rescinding their new privacy policy after harvesting the browsing history of the Inn's Gmail account. Rumour has it that the sheer variety of searches blew the analysis software. My guess is that they didn't allow for sites from the second, third and fourth ethers.

                  Mind you, I'm not sure Elric's browsing habits should ever be made public.
                  Last edited by Pietro_Mercurios; 03-06-2012, 12:21 AM.

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                  • *walks in through the door, a cold wind blowing outside*

                    God its freezing. I need a whiskey to warm me up.

                    Have I missed anything? I've been beyond the wall for, lets see...

                    ...

                    ...bloody hell.

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                    • News to chill the bones and hearts of every living soul in the Multiverse....

                      On my way to the Inn last night I encountered Bladnoch Bess and her foul offspring, dressed as a meringue and traveling in a horrid pink carriage drawn by equally pink ponies. Her unlikely retinue included a whole bunch of smug, sniggering, patronising middle-class media types.

                      I collared one and, after a little...persuasion...he owned up to the fact that they were filming an episode of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding with Bess as the bride and the reception booked into the Shankly Suite for Saturday night.

                      Nobody knows who the groom is but the media flunky did say that a local blacksmith had been commissioned to make the morning suit.

                      Don't say you weren't warned!

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                      • Grave news indeed PV!

                        I for one will be wearing strong boots!!
                        "I hate to advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone,but they've always worked for me"

                        Hunter S Thompson

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                        • Well, you'll all be delighted to know that Bladnoch Bess did indeed tie the knot on Saturday in a ceremony filmed by Channel 4 and sponsored by overblownpinkweddingdressesrus.com.

                          The identity of the groom remains a tightly kept secret as he refused to raise the visor of his helmet throughout the ceremony. For shame, presumably.

                          It can be confirmed, however, that the victim....erm....proud new husband is NOT our very own Elric, Prince of Melnibone. He can clearly be seen in the rushes for the TV show playing hunt the Stormbringer with Pramthing, Bess's charming offspring (from a previous relationship that had nothing to do with me. That's my story and you'll never get me to submit to a DNA test.)

                          I'll withold details of the ceremony and the party afterwards to avoid slipping into casual Gypsy related racism. That's the job of the show itself. Suffice it to say, it wasn't the worst that the Shankly Suite has seen - that accolade goes to the post-Istanbul party on 26th May 2005 (look it up!).

                          TF's strong boots were being passed around as drinking vessels for much of the evening, much to his embarrassment as it exposed his multicoloured and distinctly odd socks to ridicule.

                          A good night was had by all, allegedly.

                          The show will air on Channel 4 some time in the next millennium.
                          Last edited by Pietro_Mercurios; 03-13-2012, 01:34 AM. Reason: Sticky fingers.

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                          • *sneaks in the door...looks around with shifty eyes...creeps over to large chest (get yer minds outta da gutter!) in the corner...unlocks it...opens the lid...and...*

                            "Time to wake up, Elric!!"

                            *poke-poke-pokity-POKE!*

                            Wooh. Looks like you need a drink, young man! AND it smells like you need a shower...a really long one. But first things, first! Dust off the tables and pull up the chairs! Das is back in town! Drinks all around!

                            Elric's paying.




                            das

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                            • If'n you have imported drinks from Japan , I'll have a Takara Dry Highball, And if not then a pint of your best ale if you please.

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                              • I LIVE!

                                Hi folks - sorry I haven't been contributing much to the Miscellany recently; I got caught up in some work complications and a bit of travel.

                                I'm sure you've all missed my tedious old stoatery convivial wit and repartee, so let the talking of toot recommence!

                                Huzzah!

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