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  • Originally posted by Kat View Post
    "talk of toot" ....?

    dare I ask or should I leave my imagination play with that a bit? :P
    Originally posted by Some blogging bloke
    First of all, we need to define 'toot'. In this case, it is the toot referred to in books by the likes of Robert Rankin, where characters talk 'a load of old toot', usually with a part-time barman. While resorting to simple adjectives to describe the concept further seems foolish and maybe even churlish (with a side order of horseradish*), the best that can be done would be to say that the act of talking toot is akin to talking a load of old cobblers.
    http://dragonsfandango.blogspot.com/...talk-toot.html

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    • I can almost see the Flying Swan (or the Magpie and Crown as it's known in real life) from my desk, Tom. It's a proper real ale pub but the bar man is neither part time nor called Neville.

      I've never seen two Irishmen sitting on a bench outside the Magistrate's Court though. But they can probably see me........

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      • Crack open the Thwaites, Porcus!

        LANCASHIRE ARE COUNTY CHAMPIONS!!!

        Heroic stuff at Taunton - and fair play to Hants for keeping Warks at bay when they looked dead and buried.

        (For anyone else, our native county has won the national cricket title outright for the first time since 1934!)


        I'm off out to celebrate - by going to see Mike Leigh's new play, entitled

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        • Ooh Lanky Lanky. Lanky Lanky Lanky Lanky Lancashire!

          Proper beer all round.

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          • Anyone know why the Shankly Suite was closed last night? I banged on the door for a while but got no response

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            • Far be it from me to spread rumours Tom but I did hear that Thingfish was locked in there with two Pan Tang pole dancers, a 92 pint barrel of Arthur and a hundred weight of pork scratchings.

              What I do know is that it has nothing to do with recent results on the footall pitch.

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              • That was strictly scientific research i'll have you know PV!!
                And the fact that Elrics scouse cousin Barry was threatening to liquidate the sky-box!
                Thats it open again and all the evid.....erm mess from last night has been cleaned up.
                Arthurs and Taliskers all round!
                "I hate to advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone,but they've always worked for me"

                Hunter S Thompson

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                • Originally posted by thingfish View Post
                  And the fact that Elrics scouse cousin Barry was threatening to liquidate the sky-box!
                  That would be Barry of Bootle, the overweight and underemployed last prince of Lancashire. Dressed in his war shell suit, his blonde locks shorn to a number one, Barry prowls the streets of his native city, hands thrust down the front of his trousers, greeting passers-by with "Arrite Laaa, gizza ciggie."

                  He carries his trusty sword, Stabber, with outrageous confidence, selecting his victims with an experienced eye. The blade sucks out the value of its victim's giro and deposits it in Barry's hidden coffers.

                  His sidekick, Snozzy, specialises in nicking their victims' trainers at the precise moment that Stabber strikes, flogging them down at Paddy's market to supplement his own meagre collection of illegally claimed giros.

                  If you see there characters on their regular travels around the country avoid them at all costs.

                  NOTE: A giro is a social security cheque. As in the famous banner at a Liverpool vs Chelsea match thanking Chelsea's owner, Roman Abramovic for his generous contributions to the exchequer, "Roman's Taxes Pay My Giro."

                  NOTE: A cheque is a check.
                  Last edited by Pietro_Mercurios; 09-21-2011, 01:23 AM. Reason: Amended for added clarity

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                  • Isn't a 'check' when a doctor puts his hand down yer trousers and asks you to cough?

                    (cheque please!)
                    "I hate to advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone,but they've always worked for me"

                    Hunter S Thompson

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                    • check this out - http://www.nicholsonspubs.co.uk/thep...oomsliverpool/

                      my favourite pub of all time has had a re-furb and looks absolutely stunning. i want to weep with happiness.

                      this is what the shankly suite could look like if only we could keep TF off the Pant Tang pole dancers and pork scratchings for long enough to get the painters in.

                      Arthurs all round!

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                      • Porcus, we haven't had a refurb, I've just been trapped in the snug in the Shankly Suite with a Bottle of Fort william Glencoe 8 year old ( not as good as the original glencoe distillery, sadly gone ), thank Arioch for the Pan Tang Pole Dancer but my aching head.......oh have the large lagavullins on th ebar, I'm back with a vengeance !!!!


                        , [Ok Emerson ...oot the motor !!!!

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                        • Mr W W's Son!!!!

                          I missed you terribly...welcome back!!!!
                          Mwana wa simba ni simba

                          The child of a lion is also a lion - Swahili Wisdom

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                          • Thanks Kymba !! TF, Have the cellar refilled quick, it looks like Porcus is on a bender, we'll need lots more real ale and some Phoorn venom for the Granbretanians weekly stag night. Oh and a large Tsing Tao beer or ten !!!!


                            , [Ok Emerson ...oot the motor !!!!

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                            • Its ok WW i gave him the key to the lorry and hes off to the multiversal Cash and Carry just so we can have some(but not much!)left for the cellar!
                              I thought you were never getting out of that Shankly suite alive WW.
                              Respect!!
                              Welcome back ma man have a wee goldie or ten on me.
                              "I hate to advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone,but they've always worked for me"

                              Hunter S Thompson

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                              • Originally posted by thingfish View Post
                                Its ok WW i gave him the key to the lorry and hes off to the multiversal Cash and Carry just so we can have some(but not much!)left for the cellar!
                                I like trucking.
                                I like trucking.
                                I like trucking and I like to truck.

                                Blimey, this monster can hold so much more than the homing jag. Can I borrow it for a booze cruise to Calais please? All for personal use officer, of course.

                                Right, I'm nearly there so text me your orders and I'll see what I can get.

                                So far I've had:

                                TF - 400 barrels of Arthur and a dozen crates of assorted scotches (12 y/o);
                                WW - as much Lagavulin as the credit card will take;
                                Tom Murphy - 20 barrels of Thwaites, a ton of Lancashire cheese and 20 dozen Eccles cakes;
                                Das - 5 barrels of whatever Elric's drinking;

                                I'm going for the usual 30 barrels of Woodforde Wherry and a dozen cases of 21 y/o Springbank and I'll get some more pork scratchings and those funny shrimp things that taste of nothing but are great for wiping up the blood.

                                I'll hold back on the bottle of sherry for the ladies in case it does for the back axel again.

                                Oh no! I'd better go. I'm being tailed by the fuzz!

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