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French Military Victories

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  • French Military Victories

    This isn't to do with anything but if you go to Google, type in 'French Military Victories' and then hit 'I'm feeling lucky', the result is quite funny.
    Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

    Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

  • #2
    Sacre bleu!

    What about Verdun...er...Moscow...erm..Quatre Bras? :)

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    • #3
      Oh dear. Someone's got a real problem, methinks :?:
      \"Killing me won\'t bring back your apples!\"

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      • #4
        What about Austerlitz? Or Wagram? Or Marengo? I should break out my copy of Chandler's The Campaigns of Napoleon and do more.

        The Battle of Borodino was what is known as a tactical victory, but a strategic defeat. Ask the U.S. military about those. They're intimately acquainted with the notion.

        LSN

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        • #5
          Now, now. I first came across this quite a while ago, and I think it coincided with the French objection to any action in Iraq. (God, how long ago was that now?)

          I think if one took it in the spirit of satire, rather than in any other context, that at the time it worked.
          You see, it's... it's no good, Montag. We've all got to be alike. The only way to be happy is for everyone to be made equal.

          -:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

          Image Hive :-: Wikiverse :-: Media Hive

          :-: Onsite Offerings :-:


          "I am an observer of life, a non-participant who takes no sides. I am in the regimented society, but not of it." Moondog, 1964

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          • #6
            http://www.google-watch.org/gaming.html

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            • #7
              Sorry if I overreacted. I've been putting up with this b*llsh*t in the U.S. for the last several years, and it has become incredibly wearisome. When I get subjected to this crap in the name of humor, my estimate of the jokester's IQ drops about 50 or more points. Quite the little witlings, they've become.

              Having a very gallic real name (as I do) hasn't helped my temper or my first hand experiences.

              People in the U.S. are often little bundles of conditioned responses, with oligarchs doing the programming. No surprise they're programmed after the systematic distortions of their so-called media.

              LSN

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              • #8
                Google itself hasn't been programmed to do it. Someone just exploited some of its characteristics. My suspicion is that this peculiarity shall pass.

                Voltaire is greatly admired, but in school in France, one becomes acquainted with some of his more peculiar personal traits. Quite an opportunist in his own right. His interactions with Frederick the Great of Prussia do not inspire confidence in Voltaire's probity. The interesting relationship he had with his niece is also eyebrow-raising. But he wrote Candide and Zadig and Micromأ©gas, so we overlook a lot of it.

                I've always liked Dأ©nis Diderot. He wrote some good books, such as Jacques le Fatalist et son maأ®tre and La religeuse and the philosophic dialogue, Le neveu de Rameau, and an outstanding longish story called (humorously) "Cأ©ci n'est pas un conte" (This is not a story). In the group I think of as Les trois mousquetaires of the Encyclopedia, comprised of Voltaire, Rousseau, and Diderot, Diderot is the most likeable and the least egotistical. All of them were important.

                (I shouldn't forget D'Alembert here, either. He also contributed to the Encyclopedia. A great mathematician with a lot of physical insight.)

                I've got no opinion on the personal appearance of French media personalities. I don't really pay attention.

                Food is a complicated topic.

                If people are genuinely curious about French military history, David Chandler's book, The Campaigns of Napolean, really is a good place to start.

                LSN

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by TheAdlerian
                  Do you think that google has been programmed to turn up that result?
                  google is being -quite cleverly- used as the medium for a joke. again: http://www.google-watch.org/gaming.html

                  Originally posted by Governor of Rowe Island
                  I think if one took it in the spirit of satire, rather than in any other context, that at the time it worked.
                  obviously, I can't be impartial on this but... French-bashing, as it is en vogue in the US now, and traditional in the UK, is not the sign of a very healthy mindset IMO.
                  Not that I'm offended. All the opposite: It's usually comforting, as a) it comes from the worst cryptofascist types and b) i'm proud to be reminded that no equivalent exists in my country.

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                  • #10
                    Bravissimo, mordenkainen. You said it well.

                    (LSN and mordenkainen break out into a slightly polytonal rendition of "La Marseillaise," then balk at the lines that describe watering our sillons with leur sang impur. Nationalism is a strange thing.)

                    LSN

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                    • #11
                      Concerning Adlerian's question about Voltaire's sexual relationship with his niece, an outline of the situation may be found HERE.

                      By the way, Ferney in Switzerland is an interesting place to visit. Doing some time at CERN a number of years ago, we drove there one day. There was a great family-run restaurant in Gex, just over the border, too. I wonder if it's still there.

                      LSN

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by L_Stearns_Newburg
                        Sorry if I overreacted. I've been putting up with this b*llsh*t in the U.S. for the last several years, and it has become incredibly wearisome. When I get subjected to this crap in the name of humor, my estimate of the jokester's IQ drops about 50 or more points. Quite the little witlings, they've become.
                        There are bumper stickers and t-shirts here in Texas that read "Texas is bigger than France." Whenever I see one, I want to add, "and considerably dimmer, if you are indicative of the state's mentality."

                        France bashing is especially silly for Americans, because without French aid (and inspiration), the American Revolution would be a historical footnote. That's one victory proud Americans seem to forget when they talk about French defeats and retreats.

                        Originally posted by L_Stearns_Newburg
                        People in the U.S. are often little bundles of conditioned responses, with oligarchs doing the programming. No surprise they're programmed after the systematic distortions of their so-called media.

                        LSN
                        Isn't America grand? We even elected one of those oligarchs to be our President. With the aid of the so-called media.


                        And, for what it's worth (and much less seriously)--
                        My mother's family name is derived from French (but is pretty far removed from it-- as I remember it has Norman roots). Recent global events have made me proud of the background, even though I wasn't raised to be aware of the customs or language. Oddly, that side of the family thought the name was German until fairly recently. 8O

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                        • #13
                          I didn't take this particularly seriously when I came across it. To me all it confirms is that the internet is not a particularly good (or trustworthy) educational tool - precisely because of all the crap you have to wade through.

                          Personally I would be more concerned about the wholesale rewriting of history that has become prevalent in the US via Hollywood. To me that's a tad more offensive than this...

                          People in the U.S. are often little bundles of conditioned responses, with oligarchs doing the programming. No surprise they're programmed after the systematic distortions of their so-called media.
                          Apparently the 'joke' was engineered by a Canadian, rather than an American.

                          Internet Parody Hands French Military a Defeat
                          by Richard J. Dalton Jr
                          Newsday, March 13, 2003

                          The French always end up as military toast, or so it seems from a search on the popular Google search engine. But a miffed Canadian student is actually behind a prank that says no documents are found in a Google search for "French military victories."

                          The search brings up a page that asks: "Did you mean 'french military defeats.'"

                          The French did win some wars. In fact, Google lists about 63,100 pages of French military victories.

                          But a Web page says no documents are found when searching for "French military victories" using Google's "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, which bypasses the list of search results and jumps directly to the first Web page in the list.

                          That happens to be a mock-up page of Google, suggesting a search for "french military defeats." The large Google logo at the top tends to distract Web surfers from the address in the Web browser: www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html.

                          Steve Lerner, a 22-year-old Toronto student, said he created the page as "a humorous way of showing political opposition against France's weaseling."

                          Lerner said he received 50,000 hits in 18 hours on Tuesday, before the site went down for technical reasons unrelated to the large volume of Web traffic. He said it will be back up by the weekend or sooner.

                          Lerner said he managed to make the page the first search result by listing "French military victories" in several key areas. But Google claims its complex search methods make human tampering with search results difficult.

                          Lerner hasn't heard from Google, and chances are he won't.

                          A spokesman for Google , based in Mountain View, Calif., had no comment. But the search engine generally turns its back on parodies, recognizing that eventually the pages will be less visible as they fall down further in the search engine's results list.
                          Did you hear a few years ago that the French govt was lobbying the UK to change the name of Waterloo train station? They felt that it reminded visitors disembarking the Eurostar of the defeat of 1815 - and wanted it changed to something more tastefully 'European'
                          Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

                          Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

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                          • #14
                            LMAO!
                            touchy, huh?

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                            • #15
                              Ha!

                              So it was an American at all that created this little parody, eh?

                              See what you get for jumping to conclusions? The Canadians have a better reason for French bashing than Americans (i.e., Quebec), so I can see where some of this might come from.

                              I'm not a big fan of the French in general, admittedly, both from a historical and personal perspective, but with all nations it depends on where you go. The French from Normandy and the Bordeaux region are usually quite a bit different from Parisians, etc, and I can only mock the French so much since my family was ancient Norman nobility.

                              So in French my name would be Elric de Colville.

                              Edit: Just read the Google thing. I thought it was great fun, and to be honest mostly true. There are skirmishes and other minor battles not mentioned here, along with France's colonial victories in Africa so yes, it is not entirely accurate but France has had, in the great scheme of history, a rather shaky military history. I have a tactical combat simulation game called Dai Senryaku VII which is a modern combat simulator where you can play any of 8 different countires; U.S., U.K., France, Germany, Japan, Russia, China, and Israel. Of all of them the French forces are well balanced between all areas of tactical command and a modern military force, but they lack any superior units in any given area, and their units are too expensive to make up for this shortfall. In essence they have balance, but no 'hard-swing' in tactical terminology. This is an accurate depiction of French military power. If anyone wants greater specificity, I can give it.

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