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An Apology

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  • An Apology

    This is an apology to krunky (if he is still lurking here), and the rest of the forum for my rather unruly behavior a month back or so. I am sorry. 40 lashes for me...

    DLackey

  • #2
    You don't have to answer this, but was there more to that than just the exchange on this board? It just seemed like the aftermath was way more than the incident deserved.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Bill
      You don't have to answer this, but was there more to that than just the exchange on this board? It just seemed like the aftermath was way more than the incident deserved.
      Not really. In other words, Krunky and I didn't exchange any words outside of the context of the forum or anything like that. it was just a stupid incident and I feel stupid for my part in it.

      DLackey

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Bill
        It just seemed like the aftermath was way more than the incident deserved.
        There were threats of violence, which I personally laughed off since neither Krunky nor DLackey really intended to meet up in an alley and throw down. It was testosterone, that's all.

        I know how you feel, though, DL. I always feel crunchy for days after I have a blowup. I think you can let it go now, though... :)
        "Wounds are all I'm made of. Did I hear you say that this is victory?"
        --Michael Moorcock, Veteran of the Psychic Wars

        Comment


        • #5
          Krunky wasn't shy about getting in people's faces (he got in mine a couple times) and he claimed to have a thick skin, so I can't understand why he had to go. Bury the hatchet and all that.

          Good to see you again, though, DL.

          Comment


          • #6
            It was just political squabblig, and two
            alpha-males going at it, getting huffy and puffy.

            Just imagine two kangaroos going at it for the
            proper visuals.

            http://www.flpa-images.co.uk/picdisplay.asp?GROUP=10620

            oops! just go to this page... http://www.flpa-images.co.uk/

            Then type "kangaroos" in the search bar for the desired image. There's a couple of good one!

            They are both good guys, just have different views.
            I didn't think it was a big deal.
            No one was going to hurt each other.
            Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I need to upgrade my computer.
            I just checked-- there's no "Knock Out Punch" button
            on my keyboard.

            It was nothing compared to the fights I've been in
            with my brother.
            The police, threats with knives and bats.
            Good enough for COPS!
            Those were the good ole days!

            [img]www.flpa-images.co.uk/bin/flpa.dll/go?a=disp&pt=1&t=us\sr-loadersearch.html&si=&usp=0&_spb=0&_spe=0&_spw=0&m w=2&_collection=&se=13&_filterori=&searchtext=kang aroos[/img]
            \"Bush\'s army of barmy bigots is the worst thing that\'s happened to the US in some years...\"
            Michael Moorcock - 3am Magazine Interview

            Comment


            • #7
              Let me just say that Berry was the utmost fair in dealing with me, and actually, was pretty damn lenient. You guys of course are great as well. It was just a minor squabble in the grand scheme of things, but this messageboard usually manages to stay above such things. In that regard, I failed and for that failure I am sorry, hence the apology.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Bill
                Krunky wasn't shy about getting in people's faces (he got in mine a couple times) and he claimed to have a thick skin, so I can't understand why he had to go. Bury the hatchet and all that.

                Good to see you again, though, DL.
                Is it possible to get in Someones face Via a message board? Wouldnt it be more like, "He was all up in my 10100100011100110110011101101101."

                Just kidding. Im a smart ass i know.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by DL
                  Let me just say that Berry was the utmost fair in dealing with me, and actually, was pretty damn lenient. You guys of course are great as well. It was just a minor squabble in the grand scheme of things, but this messageboard usually manages to stay above such things. In that regard, I failed and for that failure I am sorry, hence the apology.
                  I think most people would just be glad to have both of you back. The trick
                  when getting involved in e-mail dust-ups is to let go of the anger. People
                  can get so worked up over trifles. :-]

                  Speaking of controlling anger reminds me: you're studying kenpo, as I believe
                  you wrote some time back. One hopes it's going well. It's *extremely* important
                  to learn to control anger during free sparring in karate, kenpo, and TKD. I just
                  administered a belt test to one of my students where this issue became very
                  apparent to all those present -- not least to the student. One of the things
                  people are supposed to learn in these bouts is to control one's mind so it doesn't
                  get swamped with anger, fear, or any other strong emotion. Learning that is
                  the hardest part of learning a martial art. It's also among the most valuable
                  things learned.

                  LSN

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Absolutely with you, LSN. My TKD master, Park Poong Suh, got all over me one time for letting my anger show. I got trounced in the sparring and Master Park told me it wasn't because the other student was better, but because I got angry. "When you see red, your fighting goes out the window," he told me. "When you see red, you lose."

                    Wow, more martial artists here at MWM than I thought...
                    "Wounds are all I'm made of. Did I hear you say that this is victory?"
                    --Michael Moorcock, Veteran of the Psychic Wars

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Sounds like something Grand Master Kang would say... I may take up TKD again now that I may finally be getting a raise, so may take up TKD again...

                      Originally posted by PsychicWarVeteran
                      Absolutely with you, LSN. My TKD master, Park Poong Suh, got all over me one time for letting my anger show. I got trounced in the sparring and Master Park told me it wasn't because the other student was better, but because I got angry. "When you see red, your fighting goes out the window," he told me. "When you see red, you lose."

                      Wow, more martial artists here at MWM than I thought...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by PsychicWarVeteran
                        Absolutely with you, LSN. My TKD master, Park Poong Suh, got all over me one time for letting my anger show. I got trounced in the sparring and Master Park told me it wasn't because the other student was better, but because I got angry. "When you see red, your fighting goes out the window," he told me. "When you see red, you lose."
                        This is true in all kinds of activities. Bill probably could chime in on why you can't
                        get angry when arguing a case -- or for that matter, while engaging in any
                        contest when you're forced to "think on your feet," as it were.

                        It's good that dlackey and krunky have buried the hatchet (and not in each others'
                        heads!). One would hope that they could return to the forum now. There's times
                        when I can understand kicking people out, and other times when the "penalty box"
                        seems a more appropriate penalty. An enforced "cooling off" period isn't necessarily
                        a bad thing.

                        Everyone gets mad sometimes when engaging in e-mail debate. My own practice
                        before sending any e-mail response to an argument is to let it sit for a day before
                        sending anything a little bit heated. If I can return to it and still find the response
                        appropriate after "cooling off," then I send it. It's funny how something one has
                        written in the heat of the moment can seem so off the deep end after calmness
                        has returned. I tend to avoid debate when my wa is disturbed, for that reason.

                        Wow, more martial artists here at MWM than I thought...
                        Maybe we're just a combative bunch? :-]

                        LSN

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          "This is true in all kinds of activities. Bill probably could chime in on why you can't get angry when arguing a case -- or for that matter, while engaging in any contest when you're forced to "think on your feet," as it were. "

                          Absolutely; and when I see my opponent lose his/her temper, it changes my approach significantly.

                          This might sound contradictory, but understanding the impact of emotions like anger or fear on yourself or others is a very important skill, that many don't have. One thing I learned at my old company, from my old boss, he would often set up a "play". Kind of "good cop/bad cop" where, if a negotiation wasn't going the way we wanted one person would lose their temper (on purpose and controlled) to bait the other side. It often worked, and usually when it worked it worked becuase the other side would then lose THEIR temper - NOT on purpose and NOT controlled - and therefore became very predictable.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Boot to the head.
                            Originally posted by L_Stearns_Newburg
                            Maybe we're just a combative bunch? :-]

                            LSN

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Bill
                              "This is true in all kinds of activities. Bill probably could chime in on why you can't get angry when arguing a case -- or for that matter, while engaging in any contest when you're forced to "think on your feet," as it were. "

                              Absolutely; and when I see my opponent lose his/her temper, it changes my approach significantly.

                              This might sound contradictory, but understanding the impact of emotions like anger or fear on yourself or others is a very important skill, that many don't have. One thing I learned at my old company, from my old boss, he would often set up a "play". Kind of "good cop/bad cop" where, if a negotiation wasn't going the way we wanted one person would lose their temper (on purpose and controlled) to bait the other side. It often worked, and usually when it worked it worked becuase the other side would then lose THEIR temper - NOT on purpose and NOT controlled - and therefore became very predictable.
                              It's not contradictory at all. This is an old trick used in negotiations; I've used it a
                              lot -- and had a lot of fun teaching it to engineers fresh out of school with
                              their Ph.Ds, who thought arguments were always decided on the basis of merit.
                              Perhaps that can happen in Academia (although my brother-in-law assures me
                              it's rare), but in most areas of human "politics" (used in the broader sense than
                              governmental), people push and pull on any significant decision to shape it in a
                              way that's more favorable or pleasant or remunerative to them. Higher notions
                              of "right" and "wrong" -- which in real life can be arguable quantities -- go
                              out the window.

                              The good-cop/bad-cop scenario is the easiest to teach people to use, but it
                              requires a careful person with good judgement to know when to push hard
                              and when to retreat and leave the floor to the "good-cop." I've had some
                              funny experiences with one of my former direct-reports, a really smart guy,
                              who sometimes got too much into the role of bad-cop: he'd go so far that
                              he'd alienate the opposing parties and negotiations would break off!

                              It's curious to watch good-cop/bad-cop in action when it's effective. The
                              victims of the routine get pissed-off at the bad-cop and start talking only
                              to the good-cop, as if they're in league against the "barbarian" bad-cop.
                              They may not even *like* the guy they're talking to, but they feel more
                              comfortable with him because of the situation.

                              LSN

                              Comment

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