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The Bad Blind Date Thread...

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  • The Bad Blind Date Thread...

    OK let's see how this goes...

    I've done my share of dating. In fact, I'm so experienced I believe I have achieved the title, Dating Master Level 3. I've done a whole lot of blind dating. There are various ways of blind dating you know. Outside of a friend setting one up, you do it through personal ads in a periodical, or a phone chat line, or through the internet.

    Here are some gems that come to mind right now...

    Bad blind date #1

    I had one where the girl looked ok
    in her picture, she was smiling.

    When I met her, I saw that
    her teeth were totally rotten.
    It was not a nice sight!

    I realized she was smiling with
    a closed mouth in her picture.

    Sorry, but I can't date anyone with rotten teeth!

    Experienced as I am, I know the best way to have
    a blind date is something short and sweet (or merciful,
    depending on how it goes).

    So you "do the coffee thing."
    That way if one doesn't like the other,
    the misery will be only a short duration. ;)

    --J
    ----------------

    When I was less experienced...

    Jer's Bad blind Date #2

    A while ago... years ago...
    [In a galaxy far far away?]

    I had this one blind date
    where I went to go see this metal girl.
    We knew it was gonna be cool cuz
    we like some of the same music and stuff.
    So I go to the apartment where she was
    and I saw a black girl in the window.
    I was expecting to meet a white girl,
    so I go there and it turns out that's her.
    No biggie, but I could tell that
    she was expecting to meet a white guy
    Haha. So we both expected we were gonna
    meet white folks. Why not eh? Metal = White power eh? haha
    I could tell that she didn't really want to continue,
    but her mom and her boy friend came home.
    They were gonna go out to dinner. I'm pretty open
    minded and was game to continue on.
    Anyway the girl was in a tight fitting , revealing black dress and
    her mom made her go change. She was going to enlist in
    the army soon, and her mom told her to change into her "cammies"
    as in camoflauge. and so she went into her room and came out
    wearing army cammies. haha
    So her mom, her boyfriend, me and the girl all went to
    this burger joint for dinner.
    At one point, the girl went to the bathroom and here's the thing...
    her mom was white. So I asked her, "So how long has
    {I forgot her name}
    been your daughter?"
    [me assuming there was an adoption]
    She said, "Her whole life."
    DOH! I shit you not. This girl was totally black and
    her mom was totally white, they DID NOT look related by even an inkling.
    no way.
    but I guess the dad's genes completely dominated, she must look
    like the dad.
    I'm pretty sure the mom implied that she gave birth and was the biological mom, and it wasn't an adoption or anything like that.
    I felt pretty crappy.

    Then soon the mom got up and left with the girl to the bathroom,
    and I was sitting with the boyfriend.
    Then I said to him something like, "Yeah I think we both expected to meet white people."
    Anyway, that was the date. It was a long time ago, so it's impossible
    for me to have perfect recollection.

    Of course I never talked to her again. I was the open minded one,
    she was totally not, pretty shallow. Oh well, I hope she went
    on to a wonderful career in the Army!!

    K your turn!....
    \"Bush\'s army of barmy bigots is the worst thing that\'s happened to the US in some years...\"
    Michael Moorcock - 3am Magazine Interview

  • #2
    Interesting posts, and as always I admire your bravery in revealing these things to the group (although I'm glad you didn't detail what you ate, because it's late and I don't want dreams of burritos keeping me up). I'd love to back you up, but I've never been on a blind date. I am, as might have become obvious over the past few months, riddled with insecurities, and the very idea of setting up a date with a relative stranger reduces me to a cold sweat. I wouldn't be worried about rejection or rotten teeth, I'd just be worried that it was a cruel practical joke... or an ambush by white geek slave traders.

    Still, if you want bad date stories:

    I went out for a drink with a girl I was working on the student magazine with. As far as I could tell it was going quite well (although she'd annoyed me slightly by stealing some of my fries, after devouring her own plate of food) and we went on to a club. It was pretty warm so we went to sit by the Fire Escape, where the door had been cracked open to let in a breeze. She told me to watch her drink and went to the bathroom. I sat there waiting for her to come back... and waiting... waiting... getting suspicious... I went to look for her. I found her stood outside the bathroom talking to some random guy, with a fresh drink in her hand. I tried to get her attention without being rude, and eventually she deigned to turn and speak to me. I asked if she wanted the drink back, and she said I could keep it and went back to blanking me. Some other people were watching this and laughing at me. Luckily I was laughing at me too, so I dumped the drink at the bar and went home.

    A few days later, the girl phones me crying because... well she'd gone home with the random guy that night and had sex, but he hadn't phoned her and she didn't know how to contact him... I can't say I was surprised, but of course I invited her around to cry on my shoulder, and she made some comment like: "I suppose I shouldn't have left you sitting by the fire escape." Well, duh!

    I'm not sure if, in retrospect, that officially counts as a "date", but right up until the point where she went off and slept with a total stranger to escape walking home with me, I thought we were getting along quite well.

    Nice guys: 0
    Nasty guys: 1

    Er... okay, someone else go now. I think I've got something in my eye. Sniffle.

    D...

    PS. If anyone ever read my post about being called a "trainspotter" by a brother of the guys in Oasis, she was the same girl... the one who kissed him and laughed at me. I'm starting to wonder why I kept hanging out with her...
    "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

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    • #3
      I have had some shitless dates, too, but some good ones. I met my wife on a blind date, we have been together since that time.

      Best date ever was just driving around with this girl who didn't know the area. We both had exams the next day, both had friends who were getting hammered and we didn't want to be tempted. Every intersection, I would ask her whcih way, and she would jsut pick a direction. We were so lost, but having fun. I didn't kiss her good night (I didn't think it was like that; I guess it really didn't start out as a "date"), and she went back to her dorm crying. My roommate was dating her roommate, he came down and said she was crying and what did you do to her (implying something evil). She was cryiong becuase she thought I blew her off at the end of the night. We went out for three years after that.

      Then there was the date where we went for dinner, and I ordered chili (it was a restaurant I was familiar with and liked it). Long story short, I burped in the car; a silent but deadly one, and she was grossed out. DATE OVER.

      I wasn't always as smooth as I am now. :D

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      • #4
        :lol:

        Unleashing a silent, but deadly on a girl?

        Shame on you!
        Letting the girl smell your innards

        That has never happened to me.

        I would have pulled over and stepped out
        of the vehicle, and made up
        some excuse other than the real one for doing so.
        ==========

        When I was in highschool, I was hanging out
        at my friend Kurt's house and one of the cheerleaders
        Jenelle Stratton was hanging out too.

        Well somehow I got into a wresting match with Kurt
        and he managed to get me in a scissors, as he
        squeezed, not only did he squeeze my mid-section,
        but he also squeezed a couple of farts out of me.

        Man! How embarrassing.
        At least Jenelle wasn't someone I was attracted to :roll:
        _______________
        What if Master Dater was an official title?
        Now say it 5 times fast.
        \"Bush\'s army of barmy bigots is the worst thing that\'s happened to the US in some years...\"
        Michael Moorcock - 3am Magazine Interview

        Comment


        • #5
          Oh man, D.
          That girl was bad news.
          May she enjoy the afterlife
          in the 9 rings of el Infierno.
          The wastelands of Avernus with her!

          [sing along]
          comeon comeon comeand get your bad Karma
          \"Bush\'s army of barmy bigots is the worst thing that\'s happened to the US in some years...\"
          Michael Moorcock - 3am Magazine Interview

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          • #6
            I think snogging the brother of one of Oasis is probably punishment enough.

            Imagine a fatter more self-important version of the other two but without the ability - (carefully distinguishing talent from ability there!)

            Mind you, I shouldn't say that, for about a year I kept on finding out that all the girls I was 'dating' (does a snog count as a date) had been out with the drummer from the 60 Foot Dolls - a pretty minor band but locally famous - a man whose 'party trick' involved stuffing prawns under his foreskin. So that's no compliment to me.

            In fact my wife was supposed to be seeing him when she met me, but then as I'd seen him with another girl earlier in the same week, I don't think there was any guilt involved there. And she didn't know anything about the prawns.

            To be fair, it may have been less about us going out with the same girls, as that he'd tried it on with the entire local female population. . .

            Comment


            • #7
              I... er... went for a blind date with a guy who gave me a nodding dog as a gift (the ones you get in cars, you know) From that point onwards I knew that escape was the only option.

              Then there was the guy who after getting pissed on my money told me he beat up his ex-girlfriend! He thought that honesty was the best policy and wondered why I left him stranded in the station because I had disappeared so fast, the flames could be seen from my running-away tracks, bit like the Back To The Future car.

              :oops: Thank god I've found someone normal.

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