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REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

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  • REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

    I had to post this because it is funny. No offense, I hope. :lol:



    6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell

    6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

    6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

    6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

    6:46 PM Seminar #1 Getting your kid a military deferment

    7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

    7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

    7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner.

    8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

    8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

    8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children

    8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)

    8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future

    9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin'Dat Man"

    9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

    9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires

    9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

    10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas

    10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

    10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho

    10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare.

    10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt

    10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans

    10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

    10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: a drain on our nation's economy.

    11:10 PM Hillary Clinton Pinata

    11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous new cult

    11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.

    11:35 PM Blame Clinton

    11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

    11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

    12: 00PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord
    When they had advanced together to meet on common
    ground, then there was the clash of shields, of spears
    and the fury of men cased in bronze; bossed shields met
    each other and the din rose loud. Then there were
    mingled the groaning and the crowing of men killed and
    killing, and the ground ran with blood.

    Homer, The Illiad

  • #2
    Update:

    The 11:20 PM Seminar will be given by Pat Buchanan, NOT John Ashcroft. Sorry for any inconvenience.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Bill
      Update:

      The 11:20 PM Seminar will be given by Pat Buchanan, NOT John Ashcroft. Sorry for any inconvenience.
      :lol: :lol:

      I am looking for an opposing one for the Dems. I thought this one was funny so I had to post..
      When they had advanced together to meet on common
      ground, then there was the clash of shields, of spears
      and the fury of men cased in bronze; bossed shields met
      each other and the din rose loud. Then there were
      mingled the groaning and the crowing of men killed and
      killing, and the ground ran with blood.

      Homer, The Illiad

      Comment

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