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Clean Flicks

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  • Clean Flicks

    http://www.cleanflicks.com/

    Only in America....

    Apparently they filter out:

    Profanity
    This includes the B-words, H-word when not referring to the place, D-word, S-
    word, F-word, etc. It also includes references to deity (G-word and JC-words
    etc.), only when these words are used in a non-religious context.

    Graphic Violence
    This does not mean all violence, only the graphic depictions of decapitation,
    impalements, dismemberment, excessive blood, gore etc.

    Nudity
    This refers to male and female front and back nudity.

    Sexual Content
    This includes language which refers to sexual activity or has sexual
    connotation. It also includes visual content of a graphic or stimulating
    nature.
    Yes you can still rent movies like Man on Fire, Last Samurai, Matrix Revolutions etc. How long are these films - like 30 minutes!?
    Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

    Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

  • #2
    Thats just it - its not legal. Several movie studios are currently filing suit against them.
    Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

    Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks - I hear back from the doctor at the end of the week, so should get the results back then.
      Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

      Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

      Comment


      • #4
        The point of the procedure was to find out what's going on - unfortunately a common symptom of lymphoma (but its not specific to that condition) is painless raised lymph glands in the neck). Unfortunately lymphoma can only be diagnosed (or ruled out) by removing and analysing the lumps. Still there's any number of things that could be the cause (lymphomas are relatively rare - but common in cancer terms).

        Its a bugger that this thing kicked off around the time I was moving to the US otherwise I would have had it checked out in the UK. Sod's law.
        Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

        Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by TheAdlerian
          Dorthy and the munchkins also present some ideas. Hmmm...
          I read somewhere that the dwarf actors who played the munchkins were horribly randy, dirty little bastards, obsessed with sex, booze, and pinching Judy Garland's bum. :lol:
          Arma virumque cano.

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          • #6
            It's true about the munchkins. It was all detailed in a book about the making of the film...
            'You know, I can't keep up with you. If I hadn't met you in person, I quite honestly would NOT believe you really existed. I just COULDN'T. You do so MUCH... if half of what goes into your zines is to be believed, you've read more at the age of 17 than I have at the age of 32 - LOTS more'

            Archie Mercer to Mike (Burroughsania letters page, 1957)

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            • #7
              No doubt you'd like to see a remake of 'Snow White' called 7-UP.




              Sorry, sorry, very old joke..... :oops:
              \"...an ape reft of his tail, and grown rusty at climbing, who yet feels himself to be a symbol and the frail representative of Omnipotence in a place that is not home.\" James Branch Cabell

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Mikey_C
                No doubt you'd like to see a remake of 'Snow White' called 7-UP.
                Is that before or after she awakes from the sleeping spell? If before, it might be a hit in the Necro market 8O

                This is similar to another outfit that sells . . . "editing sofware" and a special DVD player.

                You buy the DVD player, pop the software into it (for a specific movie) and when you watch a regular copy of the movie, the player edits out/changes offending material.

                An O.K. deal, I guess, if you don't want 'offensive material' in your movies, but I agree: if one is offended by this stuff, one should get more Family Oriented movies.
                Madness is always the best armor against Reality

                Comment


                • #9
                  I have just completed Benji Goes Anal!
                  8O
                  Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

                  Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You insensitive smutty bastards! I just can't help but weep for all of those poor traumatized babies that see a titty when they breastfeed.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by TheAdlerian
                      Goodnews!
                      I have just completed Benji Goes Anal!
                      Please look for it on the shelves this fall!
                      I just saw "Herbie goes Genocide!". A very good flick.. Highly recommended.

                      I read that 'Skippy gets Rabies!" is also due in two weeks.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        The idea of "cleaning up" movies is disturbing. "Cleaning up" is (not so) thinly disguised censorship.

                        This is another example of a disturbing trend of ignoring the Constitution in favor of pursuing a "moral" agenda.

                        Putting aside the legal issues involved...

                        This may even be more disturbing from a creative standpoint. Let's see what may be next... Lolita without that pesky little girl getting in the way of a good read, Of Mice and Men without that idiot who complicates the plot, maybe The Color Purple without that rape getting in the way of an otherwise uplifting read.

                        My point is that if we were talking about books, people might see how ridiculous this censorship is.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I reckon 'Elric of Melnibone' without that pasty-faced guy chopping everyone up will be a good wholesome family film!
                          \"...an ape reft of his tail, and grown rusty at climbing, who yet feels himself to be a symbol and the frail representative of Omnipotence in a place that is not home.\" James Branch Cabell

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Exactly.

                            Seems that the more silly the example, the more serious the issue appears.

                            Mike retained some creative control on the movie for a reason, and (as I remember) he lost a great deal of money because he insisted on it. Now someone will be able to alter it when it is finished?

                            While we're at it, let's paint over Mona Lisa's smile...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Doc
                              Exactly.

                              Seems that the more silly the example, the more serious the issue appears.

                              Mike retained some creative control on the movie for a reason, and (as I remember) he lost a great deal of money because he insisted on it. Now someone will be able to alter it when it is finished?

                              While we're at it, let's paint over Mona Lisa's smile...
                              Talk about the death of Realism..

                              Comment

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