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  • Thongor
    Barbarian Swordsman
    • Apr 2005
    • 1063

    Comments Thread For All Entries

    This is where comments go for all entries. Please do not comment in individual story threads.
  • Red Danny
    Moonbeam Traveller
    • Jun 2014
    • 5

    #2
    please comment on my story

    Hello fellow travelers of the multi-verse,

    The beginning of my short story is my first attempt at writing in a number of years. I'm not saying this for pitty but rather brutal honesty. I know there are some errors but I would genuinely love to know what this collection of minds, thinks.
    Next 2 chapters coming soon.
    Red Danny

    Comment

    • Kymba334
      Eternal Champion
      • Jun 2011
      • 3149

      #3
      Originally posted by Red Danny View Post
      Hello fellow travelers of the multi-verse,

      The beginning of my short story is my first attempt at writing in a number of years. I'm not saying this for pitty but rather brutal honesty. I know there are some errors but I would genuinely love to know what this collection of minds, thinks.
      Next 2 chapters coming soon.
      Red Danny
      So far so good and i'll spare you the Ferretbrain treatment, please keep it up Red Danny!
      ...I liked the pacing of it and felt pulled into the story from line one, that is most important in any fiction,i find.
      Last edited by Kymba334; 07-10-2014, 06:35 AM.
      Mwana wa simba ni simba

      The child of a lion is also a lion - Swahili Wisdom

      Comment

      • Kymba334
        Eternal Champion
        • Jun 2011
        • 3149

        #4
        Ben

        Well Jagged, the Ronald Firbank influence is showing, i Approve!
        Last edited by Kymba334; 07-10-2014, 07:11 AM.
        Mwana wa simba ni simba

        The child of a lion is also a lion - Swahili Wisdom

        Comment

        • Kirowan
          Corsair of the Second Ether
          • Oct 2012
          • 77

          #5
          Thanks for writing and posting your tale Thongor. It was good to read of ol' Kharrn back in action again and I enjoyed the rapport between your two leads.

          Good story length too I felt, like a long chapter, just enough to set your teeth in a good chunk of narrative, yet short enough to read in a single sitting and leave you wanting more.

          Comment

          • Thongor
            Barbarian Swordsman
            • Apr 2005
            • 1063

            #6
            Originally posted by Kirowan View Post
            Thanks for writing and posting your tale Thongor. It was good to read of ol' Kharrn back in action again and I enjoyed the rapport between your two leads.

            Good story length too I felt, like a long chapter, just enough to set your teeth in a good chunk of narrative, yet short enough to read in a single sitting and leave you wanting more.
            Thanks Kirowan. I wrote that as a vignette, originally to 'try out' the first person voice of the lady cop. I ended up liking her and the way she and Kharrn interacted You'll see her again.

            In other Kharrn news, the Carnacki the Ghost Finder/Kharrn team up 'The Beautiful Lady Without Pity' will appear in Sam Gafford's magazine The Damned Thing soon. I'll post more info when I have it. The Weird Western short story 'What Rough Beast' which Teams Kharrn with James A. Moore's monster hunter Jonathan Crowley, will appear as a small illustrated book next year probably. Plenty of Kharrn to come.

            Comment

            • Peacemaker
              Denizen of Moo Uria
              • Jul 2011
              • 154

              #7
              I think I have a story now. I just need to clean it up. The title right now is "The Sleeping Sword" but I might change it.
              Check out J. Wade Harrell Fantasy World blog:

              http://jwadeharrell.wordpress.com/about/


              Comment

              • Thongor
                Barbarian Swordsman
                • Apr 2005
                • 1063

                #8
                Glad to hear it, Peacemaker. Join right in.

                Comment

                • Kirowan
                  Corsair of the Second Ether
                  • Oct 2012
                  • 77

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Thongor View Post
                  Plenty of Kharrn to come.
                  Thanks for the update Thongor!

                  I remember how much you liked La Belle Dame Sans Merci, but also wondered if there might be any inspiration from Childe Rolande in your 2011 entry Sailing to Darkness?

                  Comment

                  • Thongor
                    Barbarian Swordsman
                    • Apr 2005
                    • 1063

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Kirowan View Post
                    Originally posted by Thongor View Post
                    Plenty of Kharrn to come.
                    Thanks for the update Thongor!

                    I remember how much you liked La Belle Dame Sans Merci, but also wondered if there might be any inspiration from Childe Rolande in your 2011 entry Sailing to Darkness?
                    Hmmm, I'm a big fan of Childe Roland, but if memory serves, the big inspiration for Sailing To Darkness was the Evanescence song 'Wake Me Up Inside'. There's a lyric "my spirit sleeping somewhere cold until you find it there and lead it back home" which had set me thinking. I think the story was also based partially on a nightmare I had. The other Kharrn Enclave entry, The Silent History, was partly based on a nightmare I'd had about demons living in an old monastery in England. That happens a lot. Me and Lovecraft...

                    Comment

                    • Kirowan
                      Corsair of the Second Ether
                      • Oct 2012
                      • 77

                      #11
                      Hey, I remember now Thongor, from reading the postscript to your tale. I wish my memory wasn't so flaky.

                      It's handy to get inspiration from dreams/nightmares. Browning said Childe Roland came to him in a dream, and some of REH's stuff came from dreams too.

                      Comment

                      • WhiteWolf359
                        Multiversal Airship Pilot
                        • Nov 2003
                        • 1056

                        #12
                        Hey, Pards!

                        Sorry, I got a late start this summer due to the vagueries of planning a move from Florida to Toronto and all that is entailed therein, with cat and fiance in tow.

                        I have started on my next Eric of Marylebone story, "The Cerulean Cutlass of Chaos." First chapter should be up in a few days.

                        Sincerely,

                        WhiteWolf359 aka Lord Warshaw the Unknown
                        Lord Warshaw the Unknown

                        "Except in dreams, you're never really free." Warren Zevon, Desperados Under the Eaves.

                        Comment

                        • Thongor
                          Barbarian Swordsman
                          • Apr 2005
                          • 1063

                          #13
                          Glad to have you, Whitewolf!

                          Comment

                          • Kymba334
                            Eternal Champion
                            • Jun 2011
                            • 3149

                            #14
                            With a bit of Luck my own story 'Cracks in the Streets' will be submitted sometime in late September, working on it again now!
                            Mwana wa simba ni simba

                            The child of a lion is also a lion - Swahili Wisdom

                            Comment

                            • In_Loos_Ptokai
                              Abrogate all rituals
                              • Apr 2007
                              • 802

                              #15
                              I'm afraid I've been "stuck in the middle with ewe" so to speak, with my story entry. I know where I want to go, but it's the getting there that's the big problem. It's a Stanislaw Lem take on Olaf Stapeldon.

                              Baaaaaa!
                              sigpic Myself as Mephistopheles (Karen Koed's painting of me, 9 Nov 2008, U of Canterbury, CHCH, NZ)

                              Gold is the power of a man with a man
                              And incense the power of man with God
                              But myrrh is the bitter taste of death
                              And the sour-sweet smell of the upturned sod,

                              Nativity,
                              by Peter Cape

                              Comment

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