Once again I want to commend you guys...

[seekwhence]

I am still amazed how you fellows are able to craft a story and immediately draw readers in. Whenever I try to write something I can't even seem to get people to start reading what I have penned much less draw them into the story once they've begun!
For example in the old multiverse.org, I wrote and contributed a story but as far as I know, no one even downloaded it.
As a prospective writer, I know I am not in the same league as you folks but I would still be honored if someone in this forum would download and read my story. It is rather long (actually a short novel) that's why I can't put it on the forum. Here is the link if anyone is interested:

http://www.userweb.suscom.net/~seekw...onjunction.doc

I will continue to read with much relish all the stories that you authors contribute here. One day I hope to hear someone tell me that as well!

seekwhence

[Starscream]

Im on my way to download your story. ^_^

[Starscream]

Just wanted to let you know that I did download a copy of it and have been reading it. I think its pretty good so far ^_^ I have no idea what type of critique you are looking for in this piece. Im not a published writer so I have no idea if my comments could count for anything.

So far from what Ive read I am enjoying the characters. I think Elric is coming along pretty good in it. I wasnt too sure about some of the dialog with the guards at the beginning of the piece though. It sounded somewhat too 'modern' if that makes any sense. If I may be so bold as to suggest some editing on your narrative. It seems like you are trying to describe too much at the same time and it doesnt seem to flow well at times. I get that way sometimes myself and have to go back and really ask myself how important this line or that line is that Im trying to convey to the reader. You might like how you have stated something but sometimes it needs to go. And sometimes completely scrapping a paragraph and focusing on the one element you want to convey over all the elements in that descriptive might be a better way to go. I dont know if thats good advice or not and I wish more people would read your piece and comment.

I look forward to finishing the story and I hope you dont mind the comments Ive said about it so far ^_^

[seekwhence]

Thanks for your interest, critique and advice...!

Hi Starscream
Thanks a bunch for taking the time to read, assess and make suggestions about my story! Your insights are most appreciated! I am not a writer and have never claimed to be one. As such, any negative criticism will probably support my own opinions. Positive feedback, though surprising, will only be that much more thrilling as a result!
Until next time...

seekwhence