Announcement

Collapse

Welcome to Moorcock's Miscellany

Dear reader,

Many people have given their valuable time to create a website for the pleasure of posing questions to Michael Moorcock, meeting people from around the world, and mining the site for information. Please follow one of the links above to learn more about the site.

Thank you,
Reinart der Fuchs
See more
See less

StarScream's addition to the DGB

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • StarScream's addition to the DGB

    Excellent, excellent Ms. Scream.

    Well written and a pleasure to read. Your writing really "flows" across the page (if that makes sense). Very nice descriptions

    Can't wait to see more! :D

    VW
    When they had advanced together to meet on common
    ground, then there was the clash of shields, of spears
    and the fury of men cased in bronze; bossed shields met
    each other and the din rose loud. Then there were
    mingled the groaning and the crowing of men killed and
    killing, and the ground ran with blood.

    Homer, The Illiad

  • #2
    I'm really glad you posted that. You're writing is really assured, and you're very consistent in your tone. There were only a few places that it read like an early draft. More importantly, I really liked the story and characters you have created. They're true to many of MM's ideas, but also very much your own.

    Keep it coming!

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks for the comments you two :D

      And yea, Im sure theres still a few rough spots in what I posted. Its an ongoing process with my stuff. Ive actually tweeked it here and there a bit since I posted it last night. Im also pondering how best to show Alarics further training. If I dont do it just right it will slow the pace down and this story has to get moving. But if I dont present it enough, it wont make any sense. Hehe did that make any sense? :P If theres any part that really stands out to you not working bring it up. I enjoy critique on my work.

      Alaric (though he had a different name in the game. Alaric stands for 'All Ruler' by the way) is someone I created and RPd for 12+ years. When my DM and I made the connection between he and the EC series (Elric) it was all done retrosptively (put in after he was drawn up and been in the game for a few short weeks). When I decided to put it to paper so to speak (which has been on ongoing suggestion by a lot of players for some time now), I have the joy if fitting it all together from the beginning. Ive also got a lot of games and events to corrolate and fit together. How some things went in the game wont flow well in story form in some aspects.

      I thank you for the comments on the characters. Jagged Im winging. Its been years since Ive read the Dancers series and Im going from poor memory at best wtih him :P

      Now as for why Arioch is there as his less powerful(?) form of Jagged? And why would he take such interest as to personally train this Mebnibonean? ;) ;) Ya just gonna havta stay tuned . . .
      Ultra Magnus to Sandstorm. \"I\'ve never seen anything this beautiful in the entire galaxy. . . Alright, give me the bomb.\"

      Comment


      • #4
        The only thing that took me out of the story was actually because of the D&D connection, when a cleric was brought in as a healer. It seemed to be too RPG derivative. Maybe just a healer?

        That's really the only thing that stands out in my mind that was at all out of place. For what it's worth, I think you're pacing it right. I think that interesting characters always have more interesting stories. Maybe it's good that you only remember a little of Jagged, as it will probably allow you to simply capture his essence, which is probably more important than getting all of the details accurate.

        I really do hope you keep writing.

        Comment


        • #5
          D'OH!!! *slaps self in forehead* oh man... I completely missed that!!!!!!!!! ROFL THANKS !!! for bringing that to my attention. Wow I dont believe I let kept that mindset when I described the healer :P *must remind self its not a game Im writing stories from right now*

          And I agree with what you said about Jagged. If I remembered him totally that might hinder me in some way.
          Ultra Magnus to Sandstorm. \"I\'ve never seen anything this beautiful in the entire galaxy. . . Alright, give me the bomb.\"

          Comment


          • #6
            'Cleric' has now been removed ^_^
            Ultra Magnus to Sandstorm. \"I\'ve never seen anything this beautiful in the entire galaxy. . . Alright, give me the bomb.\"

            Comment


            • #7
              I really enjoyed the segment of your Alaric tale Starscream. If you've been RP'ing Alaric for 12+ years it's understandable the occasional RPG reference may subconsciously slip in. It would be almost instinctive to think in those terms after so long perhaps.

              Comment


              • #8
                Thanks for the comments. Ive got a decent bit past that point and really need to post it but Im having serious issues with my Bill Gates aneurysm of a computer and its working randomly. And my story is on the PC......as I said on the other thread, Im also having some serious second thoughts about some of what Ive structured in the world and plot. Course working it out is a pain because of the PCs problems...guess I need to break out the notepad and pen and do it the hard way. . .

                Comment


                • #9
                  Starscream, I am back online after a long hiatus. I am sorry if you thought you lost me as a friend and confidant.

                  You can send me an email at [email protected] and I will give you my home email address.

                  Again, sorry for not staying in touch.

                  Your friend,

                  Dave
                  When they had advanced together to meet on common
                  ground, then there was the clash of shields, of spears
                  and the fury of men cased in bronze; bossed shields met
                  each other and the din rose loud. Then there were
                  mingled the groaning and the crowing of men killed and
                  killing, and the ground ran with blood.

                  Homer, The Illiad

                  Comment

                  Working...
                  X