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Lemec's Story Archives

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  • Originally posted by Grey Mouser
    Whoops, chickened out. I reread it and found it contained a couple of the things on the list Pease posted about fantasy cliches. Ulp. I feel a rewrite is in order.


    haha, I am sure it was fine, maybe it has to have more than two off that list to become a cliche. ;)


    I'll look forward to the re-write.

    "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
    - Michael Moorcock

    Comment


    • Originally posted by devilchicken
      How's about this:

      A race of sorcerers who rule over scattered tribes of mankind on a ruined future earth.

      Now... the sorcerers could simply be men with advanced technology (gadgets and such to create the illusion of magic), using it to keep some sort of fragile supremacy over the barbarians?

      How's about a guy who kills one of the 'sorcerers' in... I don't know.. a bar fight and assumes his identity. What would he do?

      it sounds like that character could have a wild and dangerous adventure and cause a great deal of future problems for the real sorcerers.


      alot of potential there that is for sure! :)

      "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
      - Michael Moorcock

      Comment


      • voilodian ghagnasdiak,


        good work! that's pretty cool. I like the part about the 'liquid sealed cranial cavity.' hehe :)

        "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
        - Michael Moorcock

        Comment


        • Thank You Lemec.Ive got the whole basic story in my head (including a climactic ending).However I dont know how far to go with it?I noticed some typo errors,but I guess that gives off the true amateur effect.I also pasted my story on quote by accident and lost all the sentence,paragraph structuring.Does that matter? Do the stories have to be in proper format to be valid? Please let us know how far to go with this stuff.
          Im going to have a picture coming at you soon also. ( OOPS Wrong Thread )
          Last edited by voilodian ghagnasdiak; 07-01-2006, 01:41 PM.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by voilodian ghagnasdiak
            Thank You Lemec.Ive got the whole basic story in my head (including a climactic ending).However I dont know how far to go with it?I noticed some typo errors,but I guess that gives off the true amateur effect.I also pasted my story on quote by accident and lost all the sentence,paragraph structuring.Does that matter? Do the stories have to be in proper format to be valid? Please let us know how far to go with this stuff.
            Im going to have a picture coming at you soon also. ( OOPS Wrong Thread )

            ya, that's fine in it's raw form. :) we get to see your ideas right away. you can always go back and correct it the way you want it when all parts are assembled.

            please keep going, I am curious to read what everyone comes up with.


            thanks!


            -Lemec

            "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
            - Michael Moorcock

            Comment


            • The Seigneur's Ledger (short fiction

              The Seigneur's Ledger- By Lemec

              -------------------------------------------------------------------------

              Ripped from my home and playthings, five cycles past. They broke, then bound my inelegant hands after driving a
              skiver in my rib cage. Oh! I have suffered and continue to feel the pains inflicted upon me and my brethren.

              They came to us, outnumbered us, an unjust war on my destitute lineage. Nine score of my loved ones were savagely murdered.

              I lay here shaking and underfed behind this horrid stockade. Eight remain, alas, they are to be executed according to fraudulent

              laws. Constrained and cowed, this author's eyes bleed at the vision of their demise. An unprovoked attack, a conundrum, we are

              incapable of deciphering it's allusion and worth. No resources to serve as a defense, they created the machination for our destruction.

              They alone carrried the implements of war. My kin had no such weapons and even our most cunning minds, academicians who have

              even read and memorized The Lost Histories of Flemenaaj, could not repel the brutal invaders, forasmuch we only had soft flesh against

              thick reinforced hide armour. Our hands,feets and nails competed with powerful and harsh scimitars, enhanced pikes and a cadre of other

              blade wielding mercenaries, who no doubt spilled our cherished blood in order to waste our few worldly treasures on strong drink,

              fineries and depraved prostitutes or on worse activities that are vile crimes to existence itself.

              Earnest Reader, will you please free us from these wretched oppressors?


              With Urgency,


              Seigneur Osradelnokokoniust-Daimon Knight of the Ethereal Gardens








              -------------------------------------------------------------------------

              "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
              - Michael Moorcock

              Comment


              • I like it - are you planning to expand it?
                Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

                Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

                Comment


                • Originally posted by devilchicken
                  I like it - are you planning to expand it?

                  Thanks! :)


                  I was thinking about it. I thought maybe somebody might find the letter/journal and take action, not knowing what the result would be.


                  what do you think of that route, devilchicken?

                  a person might believe Osradelnokokoniust is a force for good and principles,


                  another person might see the lie, or is it a lie? is the Seigneur a true victim that evil has dealt out to him and his family? ;)



                  -Lemec :D


                  P.S. the story hit me as I hit the bed last night and closed my eyes, I imagined more as I fell asleep and woke up with it on my mind. :) It would be cool to turn it into a regular story, I wanted to express the ledger idea right away, thanks so much for you interest!
                  Last edited by lemec; 07-04-2006, 05:56 AM.

                  "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
                  - Michael Moorcock

                  Comment


                  • Apparently John Milton formulated entire poems in his sleep, and had only to wake up and write them down.

                    I'm still struggling with my piece - though I'm probably going to move onto another 'work in progress' that I feel better about now.
                    Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

                    Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by devilchicken
                      Apparently John Milton formulated entire poems in his sleep, and had only to wake up and write them down.

                      I'm still struggling with my piece - though I'm probably going to move onto another 'work in progress' that I feel better about now.

                      ahh, that's cool, Milton must have had a brilliant and interesting mind.

                      I might start keeping pen and paper near me at all times though,haha. I don't
                      share his keen ability.

                      ah, whatever you feel more comfortable with, I have plenty abandoned ideas laying around. so please don't feel bad if you delay one, although I would like to get into that story and continue reading it, if you choose to add to it later.

                      I do enjoy seeing new ideas and having fun with you moonbeamers. :)

                      "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
                      - Michael Moorcock

                      Comment


                      • Well the other one is more short story material,

                        I'm not sure how to progress the first piece - the character is interesting, but having him killed off is a bit of a 'cop-out'. There needs to be a confrontation with the grandson, but I'm not sure how that would go. This is where my lack of planning and relative inexperience become painfully apparent.

                        I like your piece though - has some shades of Corum to it, but as you say there is a degree of ambiguity to Seigneur Osradelnokokoniust.
                        Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

                        Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

                        Comment


                        • Interesting fragment Lemec.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Grey Mouser
                            Interesting fragment Lemec.

                            Thank you kindly, Grey Mouser! :)



                            devilchicken, yes, you are right, it does reflect more on Corum's origins. ;)

                            I saw it a little, now I really see Corum in it alot, now that I think about it.


                            I certainly need to alter the course a bit.

                            I think I will try to keep it so the reader does not know one way or the other who the heroes and the villains are, let the reader diecide who is right, who is wrong, if everyone is bad or everyone is good. ;)



                            Edit- alright, I have decided to use the initial journal in the prologue. :)


                            Please Enjoy! It will be a short story, with short parts or chapters, haha.
                            Last edited by lemec; 07-07-2006, 09:11 AM.

                            "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
                            - Michael Moorcock

                            Comment


                            • The Seigneur's Ledger -By Lemec, July,2006




                              Prologue



                              "What is it?" inquired Banew, a young acolyte with blonde hair and a bent nose.

                              "It appears to be a communique of some sort." replied Fappi, a bald, gangly man.
                              "...a conjured missive in reverse, dispatched from a world away...a distress call
                              that will reach every shore in either of the twenty dimensions.

                              "High Educator, I have heard of no such thing in my triad of lectures at the
                              Academies of Research.

                              "You will not learn of the method there, as you should not know of it.
                              Only a few outside of the Ilenroc doctrine warders secure the secrets of planar
                              dissemination. Portentous business."

                              Fappi ran his fingers through sand,on a birch table, that had been dyed teal,
                              saffron and somber grey. A dull golden light splayed out,ensorcelled letters
                              formed with the grains.


                              "It is unsafe to speak to the other realms. Trickery and bloodshed are the tools
                              of many beings of the expanses. One must make certain precautions. To traverse
                              these celestial microcosms, we need permissive documents from the sovereign
                              residence." stated the senior teacher.

                              Fluorescent green and blue sentences were created out of the rock dust.

                              The
                              words began to reveal their context as a blur, then the two men could see
                              them clearly, it showed up as a type of diary.


                              Banew read the words aloud as his master stood with his arms folded.


                              "Ripped from my home and playthings, five cycles past. They broke, then bound my inelegant hands after driving a
                              skiver in my rib cage. Oh! I have suffered and continue to feel the pains inflicted upon me and my brethren.

                              They came to us, outnumbered us, an unjust war on my destitute lineage. Nine score of my loved ones were savagely murdered.

                              I lay here shaking and underfed behind this horrid stockade. Eight remain, alas, they are to be executed according to fraudulent

                              laws. Constrained and cowed, this author's eyes bleed at the vision of their demise. An unprovoked attack, a conundrum, we are

                              incapable of deciphering it's allusion and worth. No resources to serve as a defense, they created the machination for our destruction.

                              They alone carrried the implements of war. My kin had no such weapons and even our most cunning minds, academicians who have

                              even read and memorized The Lost Histories of Flemenaaj, could not repel the brutal invaders, forasmuch we only had soft flesh against

                              thick reinforced hide armour. Our hands,feets and nails competed with powerful and harsh scimitars, enhanced pikes and a cadre of other

                              blade wielding mercenaries, who no doubt spilled our cherished blood in order to waste our few worldly treasures on strong drink,

                              fineries and depraved prostitutes or on worse activities that are vile crimes to existence itself.

                              Earnest Reader, will you please free us from these wretched oppressors?


                              With Urgency,


                              Seigneur Osradelnokokoniust-Daimon Knight of the Ethereal Gardens."
                              Last edited by lemec; 07-07-2006, 09:09 AM.

                              "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
                              - Michael Moorcock

                              Comment


                              • Chapter 1



                                The ash drifted and fell on the citadel. The structure is comprised of seven towers with interconnecting halls and buttresses.
                                Two spires stand to the North, two pinnacles to the South. Two more are located in the West center, attached to a third,
                                forming a triangle. The hamlet lies to the East, set against a two-thousand-foot cliff. The dusty residue blankets the area,
                                emerging from an aggravated forest fire.

                                A trench had been dug beside the copse that is closest to the village outskirts. The militia had formed ten lines of bucket
                                carriers and have quashed any flames that severely threatened the town or it's populace. It was an act of nature, there has
                                not been any war in the land for a long time, a coup was attempted on his Lordship, the Potentate Ressulam Eahathorn,
                                but the traitors were put to the axe over three years ago on a moonless night. Superstitions weighed heavily on the bulk of
                                community, guild representatives outright begged Ressulam to imprison the conspirators and stay the execution, or at the
                                very least wait until the following week when one or all of the four moons would appear. The monarch feared a second
                                uprising. He wanted to put a quick end to any betrayer, he felt it his duty to end their lives to protect Fe Ragare Township.

                                Eahthorn is the first cousin to Domain Lord, King Fetrik San Kebb. His brother governs a lesser town called Fe Katrem.
                                The King's sisiter is Baroness Benaleenia Cosskerounsk who rules the island barony of Fe Lessex On The High Sea. The
                                largest metropolis is the throne city, called Sandorassale. The City, as it is called, has no fortifications, albeit the natural
                                barriers the surrounding five rivers that weave through the countryside. They are four-hundred yards wide at their most
                                narrow spot and seven-hundred feet deep. The people share a border with the Nation known as Havrkokoneepa a wild
                                land full of nomadic tribes and Venef Sorukan, the land owned by a shrewd citizen party known as The Jall Dallkwinets
                                which roughly translates to the Domain's Tongue as "Tall Associates." This group of men and women is presently
                                working to form a democracy, The Free City of Warkartvenna has been established, but at this point in history the faction
                                claims they need to administer by "Order of Sword," meaning they will kill anyone who gives the community even the
                                slightest distress, including theft,brawls or shouting in the streets.
                                Last edited by lemec; 07-07-2006, 08:48 AM.

                                "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
                                - Michael Moorcock

                                Comment

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