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Untitled work in progress

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  • Untitled work in progress

    Removed.
    Last edited by devilchicken; 10-09-2006, 06:43 PM.
    Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

    Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

  • #2
    Anyone have a chance to read my piece? Curious for some comments.
    Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

    Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

    Comment


    • #3
      It's great... doesnt come off as amateurish. How long have you been writing? It sounds like an excellent "prologue" , something to bring the reader up to speed on what s been happening in your World

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by zxvasdf
        It's great... doesnt come off as amateurish. How long have you been writing? It sounds like an excellent "prologue" , something to bring the reader up to speed on what s been happening in your World
        Honestly? Last sunday - though the desire was always there.

        I've also been practicing with different genre's wrote a 2000 word short story the other day, not fantasy - more along the lines of a crime thriller. Interestingly I found the action (as opposed to backstory) flowed much easier when dealing with conventional characters and situations. Sci-Fi/Fantasy is actually quite hard.

        Hoping to see how far I get with this - I have a terrible habit of starting and not finishing, so actually finishing a story will be a major self-esteem booster, though at the moment it feels like being at the bottom of an impassable mountain!
        Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

        Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

        Comment


        • #5
          That's a really promising opening so far DC. Are you working to a set structure or synopsis, or writing from what you have worked out in your mind? Do you already know the outcome and are working towards it, or are you letting the tale unfold as it goes?

          I'm with you on the not finishing stuff. I've let that happen a lot. One of the advantages of being able to write as fast as Mike or Howard is that you can bring a short story to it's conclusion before reservations set in.

          Comment


          • #6
            Yeah I've been playing around with ideas for a while - jotting down various notes here and there, so I have an idea of the type of story I want to write.

            I find it very difficult creating and working with outlines and synopses - its extemely artificial to me and seems to shut down the story before I even get to writing it.

            Here I just started with a scene I had in my head and went from there. I have an idea of the structure in my head, but for me its the actual process of putting words on the page that seems to get the story moving (initially)

            I've certainly noticed inspirations from MM's Elric stuff (naturally) but also from the Robert Graves' and roman history stuff I've been reading recently. Geriatrics are not well represented in fantasy (as far as main characters go at least), and I find the conflict between young and old quite interesting.

            We'll see how it goes. This week (and next) I've been quite lucky with finding time to write - the wife is out on business , so its easier for me to sit down of an evening and focus, ignoring the temptation of the TV and other distractions.
            Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

            Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

            Comment


            • #7
              I noticed the Melnibonean influence, Azantium being a bit like Melnibone perhaps if Sadric was still Emperor at the time Yrkoon was getting imperialistic itchy fingers. I guess the historical parallels would help to give some texture to the political machinations and intrigue.

              Any more on the way DC? Although if the temperature is still as hot where you are as it was a week ago I can't blame you for wanting to chill out with an iced-beer instead of writing.

              Comment


              • #8
                Its been slow going this week - I have another thousand or so words done - but its in a much rougher form. At the moment what I have is really two separate loosely connected scenes - I'm not really sure how the story is going to progress.

                The second part is more of a dialogue scene - trying to get some action going and see if I can produce something half-way convincing.

                As for an overall story arc I had an idea to work on different periods of history - based on my reading of roman history and how the administration changed over time. The christian roman empire (and Byzantine empire) was far cry from say, from the pagan era but still ultimately recognisable.

                So I have a number of scenes in my head for different characters at different points in this civilization's history. Part of it is based on the roman mythology that they really were so much more advanced than the 'barbarians', which is actually not strictly true. Their battles were much harder fought than popular belief.

                I admit I'm getting impatient and the temptation is to move on to other ideas - but I'm sticking with it. Hoping for perfection first time around isn't a realistic expectation. I think partly that is inexperience, not knowing how to tell a good story.

                At the end of the day, writing creatively is not so much about whether you can do it, but whether you can stand to do it. Its as much work as it is pleasure. Apparently at least, the more you write the better you get... so we'll see...

                But I'm encouraged by the fact that my prose (IMO) is somewhat better than Terry Brooks' first effort (which is a bugbear of mine). If that can make it to the New York Times bestseller list, there's hope for everyone!
                Last edited by devilchicken; 06-29-2006, 05:37 AM.
                Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

                Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Actually, just posting individual scenes or extracts might be a viable way of working. Berry did something similar a while back called The Battle for Chesmochesmadiak (or something similar). That way you just get to write the stuff that inspires you at the time and maybe rearrange it and fill in gaps later.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The writing self-help book I am reading (highly recommended to anyone who's interested) makes the (perhaps obvious) point that character is revealed through action rather than exposition, certainly finding that dialogue is giving me new food for thought, so far as where the story is going to go from here.

                    I'm going to make a serious attempt to finish part 2 tonight and post it up for comment. I was looking through what I have and you can get a sense of what's going on, but there's unconnected lines here and there - so I need to get it into a conversational order before I feel confident enough to post it.

                    Trouble is, after this scene I'm not exactly sure where this is going to go. There is however, an idea that involves WMD of some sort. We'll see.
                    Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

                    Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Nice work, devilchicken. The image of the courtiers splashing in the water while the emperor broods is quite striking. I'm impressed!

                      I look forward to reading the next installment.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Nearly done with part 2, got distracted by The Sopranos. Added part of it, rest should be finished tomorrow, and made some changes to Part 1.

                        Any comments on the dialogue?
                        Last edited by devilchicken; 06-29-2006, 08:22 PM.
                        Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

                        Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by devilchicken
                          Nearly done with part 2, got distracted by The Sopranos. Added part of it, rest should be finished tomorrow, and made some changes to Part 1.

                          Any comments on the dialogue?


                          The dialogue is good and hearty. :) I like it.


                          the descriptions in the tale are wonderful!

                          "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
                          - Michael Moorcock

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Speaking critically, I already not sure if introducing a new character was the best idea for the story - bearing in mind its a first draft I'm accutely aware that you get more of a feel for the emperors character as opposed to the exile, who comes across more as a talking-head. I'm thinking I might redo the scene, but have it between the emperor and his grandson - might create a bit more dramatic tension that way as it is addressing the central conflict between the two.

                            Its certainly a learning process, but its encouraging when you can intuitively sense that something doesn't fit. Still trying to learn the story form.
                            Batman: It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

                            Robin: Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by devilchicken
                              Speaking critically, I already not sure if introducing a new character was the best idea for the story - bearing in mind its a first draft I'm accutely aware that you get more of a feel for the emperors character as opposed to the exile, who comes across more as a talking-head. I'm thinking I might redo the scene, but have it between the emperor and his grandson - might create a bit more dramatic tension that way as it is addressing the central conflict between the two.

                              Its certainly a learning process, but its encouraging when you can intuitively sense that something doesn't fit. Still trying to learn the story form.

                              that sounds like a good idea too.

                              ya, when reading a book, I think I might know how to make one of my own, but when it comes to writing something out I learned how difficult it really is to piece it all together. I'll get inspired and come up with some ideas of my own, but I really have to work to expand the thought and figure out how to get from point A to point B. even with an outline I think it can be a tough process,haha.

                              that's why I get all excited about seeing someone create something, fascinating how it all comes together. :)

                              "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
                              - Michael Moorcock

                              Comment

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