Poem: untitled

[Poetgrrl]

take this lung
I don’t need it
it’s no good to me now

it won’t work
no matter how I squeeze it
no air in or out.

it wheezes and pings
it crackles and sings
it does everything but breathe for me.

and it’s sister next door isn’t much better
wheezing louder than my husband can stand
keeping him up at night
while I sit up and fight for some little molecule of air.

CO2 laughs in my lungs laughing all the way
at my plight
while that lonely little O2 tries to make its way
to my purple blood yearning to be fiery red.
I want to lie down and go back to bed
to sleep, perchance to breathe.

KES
November 6, 2005

[L'Etranger]

That's frightening, now I know why I gave up smoking. I hope you do get better soon!

[S_Ombre]

Brava Poetgrrl! An excelent peice of peotry, although a somewhat frightening one.

S. Ombre

[Poetgrrl]

i have asthma that's just gotten a little more frustrating this time of year.

never thought it'd be a poem sujbect, though... 8O

[L'Etranger]

i have asthma that's just gotten a little more frustrating this time of year.

never thought it'd be a poem sujbect, though... 8O

I feel with you. My allergy against certain grasses makes me suffer asthmatic fits every July and it is hellish. My sympathies.

[DeeCrowSeer]

It is a fantastic poem, but I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering for your art. I wasn't quite sure what the cause of the breathlessness was in the poem itself, and that does conjure up all sorts of theories in the mind of the reader. And "...perchance to breathe" is a great last line.

[xidrep]

Yes, I'm an asthmatic, too. I don't suffer much these days, but I've had a few near-death apnoeic experiences (don't go towards the light!). Excellent, strangulating sense of the panic-verging struggle, the desperate dyspnoea, PG. You're a talent. :P

[Azariel]

Good thing I never caught on the habit of smoking cigars! Count my blessings and my two healthy lungs to boot! Excellent piece, poetgurl.

Kinda brings to mind a story of Alice Cooper. When recording "The Ballad of Dwight Frye," that infamous "Get Me Outta Here" effect was done - no cheat ing special effects - but by burying Alice under chairs (imagine the claustrophobia), so he WAS really freaking out when he sang that part, like a raving lunatic! Well, guess better than him being thrown in a loony bin for real! Oh, darn. . . I forgot where I was going with this :lol: