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Story Challenge - Robo Prez

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  • lemec
    replied
    Originally posted by Grey Mouser
    Thanks Lem!

    Guess this means I could never be a real author. There's no edit button when a couple of thousand copies of your book come off the press.


    no problem, Grey Mouser!


    haha, nah! -that makes you a better writer because you want to improve your work as much as you can!

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  • Grey Mouser
    replied
    Thanks Lem!

    Guess this means I could never be a real author. There's no edit button when a couple of thousand copies of your book come off the press.

    Leave a comment:


  • lemec
    replied
    Hey GM!

    very good! a very comic new part!

    clever,clever! very cool about the dvd!



    -Lem'


    Edit-I made a mistake when I pressed that quote instead of reply. now, I made an error deleting it, so now your reply comes before my post.


    that's what happens when we mess with time warps, I suppose! haha

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  • Grey Mouser
    replied
    Thanks Lemec!

    Any chance you could edit your post above to take out the story text? It's just in case I decide to go back and edit stuff to save my embarassment. Likely I went over the top on the Kalchak stuff and might trim some of it later.


    Then again you might have your own nefarious purposes for quoting it.

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  • Grey Mouser
    replied
    I found Roboprez lurking on my hard drive and for some ungodly reason felt inspired to add another 1000 words or so. It's been so long since I added any that I wouldn't blame anyone for disinterest. The Chomsky quotes at least are solid stuff and this story only really exists as a framework to attract attention to his observations.

    <Story Deleted. GM>

    ***************************************

    Next up - Chapter 3 part 3?
    Last edited by Grey Mouser; 07-04-2008, 03:22 PM. Reason: Removal of story text

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  • Grey Mouser
    replied
    I guess I'd better get it done then, otherwise it will remain, to borrow ZERO_the_HERO's phrase, a 'Dialect Without Closure'. 8O

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  • DeeCrowSeer
    replied
    I understand what you mean about feeling "self-conscious", considering all the comments I've dropped about how the story might have gone (sorry, I did it again), but I hope you post some more. No pressure though. :)

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  • Azariel
    replied
    Originally posted by lemec
    Hi Grey Mouser,

    I was just thinking that I have not seen you make a post in awhile. It's nice to see you on again. :D
    My thoughts exactly

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  • lemec
    replied
    Hi Grey Mouser,

    I was just thinking that I have not seen you make a post in awhile. It's nice to see you on again. :D

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  • Grey Mouser
    replied
    There's more to come but I got a little self-conscious about the whole thing. I'll try to get it finished soon.

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  • Azariel
    replied
    I've not seen Grey Mouser post lately. What's the status on this story? Does it stand as it is now? Or revisions/additions on the way?

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  • lemec
    replied
    cool, looking forward to the end. I did not see an example of flash fiction so I was just curious if that is what you had created. :D

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  • Grey Mouser
    replied
    Dee, I'm now really intrigued as to where you feared the plot would go and what you think the punchline might be. Maybe you can let me know once I've got the last part in. I have no idea how much I might be unintentionally telegraphing the 'punchline' so to speak, so this is one thing I'd be keen to get some perspective on once it's done. I could use a three word phrase that would tell you in a nutshell the rest of the story - but I won't (but I think you might already have a good hunch).

    Lemec, thanks for the comments. I haven't been sure how I'm handling the scene transitions or whether I'm leaving too many gaps for the reader to fill in. I guess the perhaps rather abrupt scene jumps and understated description might give it that flash fictiony feel. I know what I think I'm trying to do, but aren't sure yet if that's what I'm actually doing.

    LSN, I've got 2 1/2 parts out of nine left to go. Having come this far it would be a shame to abandon it so close to the end so I feel obliged to finish. Then you'll be able to analyse the completed whole, as it were.

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  • lemec
    replied
    Hi Mouser,

    Your story is good. I am catching on to how it is set up now. I did not seem to get everything at first, now I see how well it is made. The story made me think differently, it sort of forces me to view the characters at a strange angle than most stories or books. I like it, that is a good thing. I think it brings the reader to see your frame of mind. It does flow right along once I get the hang of it. It could be that I am just weird, but that is how I see it. It sort of grabs you more and shows you how the story world is, instead of some things that try to show their setting and you kinda use your own imagination on what the author might mean, more like a suggestion, on your story it is a wild ride because I don't have time to think.

    Would this be considered "Flash Fiction?"

    Is the smart bomb getting more intelligent? It sounded like it's IQ increased.

    Well, I just thought I'd throw a few things out there, since I have not said much lately about the story. Keep it Up! :)

    Leave a comment:


  • A_Non_Ymous
    replied
    Good comments, Dee.

    I'm trying hard not to read much of the Mouser's story until he's done, for some of the same reasons you touched on.

    Of course, the Mouser isn't all that far from your domicile. If necessary, you can visit him for an editorial conference to make sure he stays on track.

    LSN

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