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Story Challenge - Robo Prez

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  • #16
    Hello Grey Mouser,

    I am still interested and I enjoy your story. Looking forward to seeing the new part. :)

    "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
    - Michael Moorcock

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    • #17
      No probs Manmiles. I liked the fragment you posted for the City of Pulp Dreams. Hope you get time to carry on from where you left off.

      Lemec, congrats on finishing your tale. No mean feat dealing with such a large cast of characters.

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      • #18
        I wouldn't really know "Hegelian dialectic" from a hole in the ground... hopefully I'll have a clearer idea once the third part is in place. As you say, there's been a shift in tone between the first and second parts, so obviously the way they fit together will be affected by the final section. If I were tackling the subject, I would share your concerns about the nature of the material, but the very fact that the city is called "No Name City" gives the reader that buffer of unreality, so they know that you're not laughing at real people. IMHO.

        Personally I think that even a robot would get tired of repeating some of the banal nonsense that politicans have to crank out ona daily basis, but that's beside the point.
        "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

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        • #19
          Thanks for the input Dee. :)

          The Hegelian thing came from a poem we were working on in another thread. It's a handy three part structure on which to hang my story, but as I'm discovering as I progress, I'm using it superficially, as the dialectic method (thesis, antithesis, synthesis) stands in opposition to the actual message I'm trying to convey, which is encapsulated in the first quote from Chomsky, and will become apparent when the third chunk goes in.

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          • #20
            You could try making it an ironical rather than a philosophical synthesis.

            LSN

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            • #21
              Thanks LSN, that's an interesting suggestion. :)

              That would neatly solve my dilemma if I can manage it. I'll look into that while I think about the next part.:scratch:

              Time to brew up another cuppa. :cup:

              PS I read your review of the Best of Fritz Leiber on Amazon. Thought it was very good.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Grey Mouser
                Thanks LSN, that's an interesting suggestion. :)

                That would neatly solve my dilemma if I can manage it. I'll look into that while I think about the next part.:scratch:

                Time to brew up another cuppa. :cup:
                When in doubt:

                - Use irony
                - Use masks (don't put yourself in the work undisguised)
                - Literary it up

                The first 2 are reflexes for me. I've resorted to the 3rd at times.

                Originally posted by GM/MG

                PS I read your review of the Best of Fritz Leiber on Amazon. Thought it was very good.
                :lol: I was joking when I referred to my review of that book. The review doesn't say anything profound. It just tries to be informative. I think the book has been out of print for many years.

                There was a much larger compendium published by a small press back in '91 that contained many of the stories left out of The Best of ... book. I can look it up. I think the editor was Martin Harry Greenburg. Unfortunately, that book has been out of print for a long time, too.

                LSN

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                • #23
                  The better Leiber collection was called Leiber Chronicles: Fifty Years of Fritz Leiber. It came out from Dark Harvest Books.

                  It was a worthy effort. It suffered from a lot of typos, unfortunately.

                  If a corrected version of this book were available - or even this book without correction - I'd say it was the 1-volume collection of Leiber stories to purchase.

                  The novels and the Fafhrd & Grey Mouser books should be obtained, too, of course. (The collection contains 4 F & GM stories, but it's not enough.)

                  LSN

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                  • #24
                    LSN, I own 2 copies of the F&GM books (the 2nd because the 1st is starting to crumble). I never got so much into Leiber's other stuff, but I enjoyed Conjure Wife (which vanished after I enthusiastically lent it to a friend) and have read several of his short stories like Gonna Roll the Bones. I recently went rummaging around for my other Leiber books and managed to unearth a third copy of Swords of Lankhmar and a cool edition of The Wanderer. I have more, but just can't remember where I've put them, most certainly I've got Best of Fritz Leiber and Our Lady of Darkness, but there were others too, and I'm going to track them down soon. I'm hoping (fingers crossed) that I'm going to turn out to already have a copy of Fifty Years of Fritz Leiber, because the title sounds familiar and I'm sure I had several of his short story collections including Best Of. Pretty sure I had Gather, Darkness too.

                    I did manage to find Spell of Seven, edited by De Camp. This contains Bazaar of the Bizarre, Shadows in Zamboula, Dark Eidolon, Hoard of the Gibbelins, Kings in Darkness, the Hungry Hercynian and Mazirian the Magician. Fantastic little collection.

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                    • #25
                      Here's the next bit, and hopefully only one more after that will conclude it.

                      <Story deleted. GM>


                      (to be continued?)
                      Last edited by Grey Mouser; 07-04-2008, 04:29 PM. Reason: Removal of story text.

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                      • #26
                        Interesting… I wasn't sure where it was going after the last part, but you've gone in a totally different direction to the one I feared, and I’m very glad. Bringing it back the smart bomb was a very good move, “homage� though it is. Actually, the more you do with it, the less of a straight Dark Star lift it becomes. Make it your own! Again though, I think perhaps that a better sense of the piece will come once it’s available in full, rather than leaving worriers like me to worry about where it might go next. I’m certainly curious to see where the “cliff-hanger� leads though… I have a few guesses of course, but I’ll keep quiet until the tale is told. As it were.
                        "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

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                        • #27
                          Good comments, Dee.

                          I'm trying hard not to read much of the Mouser's story until he's done, for some of the same reasons you touched on.

                          Of course, the Mouser isn't all that far from your domicile. If necessary, you can visit him for an editorial conference to make sure he stays on track.

                          LSN

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                          • #28
                            Hi Mouser,

                            Your story is good. I am catching on to how it is set up now. I did not seem to get everything at first, now I see how well it is made. The story made me think differently, it sort of forces me to view the characters at a strange angle than most stories or books. I like it, that is a good thing. I think it brings the reader to see your frame of mind. It does flow right along once I get the hang of it. It could be that I am just weird, but that is how I see it. It sort of grabs you more and shows you how the story world is, instead of some things that try to show their setting and you kinda use your own imagination on what the author might mean, more like a suggestion, on your story it is a wild ride because I don't have time to think.

                            Would this be considered "Flash Fiction?"

                            Is the smart bomb getting more intelligent? It sounded like it's IQ increased.

                            Well, I just thought I'd throw a few things out there, since I have not said much lately about the story. Keep it Up! :)

                            "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
                            - Michael Moorcock

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Dee, I'm now really intrigued as to where you feared the plot would go and what you think the punchline might be. Maybe you can let me know once I've got the last part in. I have no idea how much I might be unintentionally telegraphing the 'punchline' so to speak, so this is one thing I'd be keen to get some perspective on once it's done. I could use a three word phrase that would tell you in a nutshell the rest of the story - but I won't (but I think you might already have a good hunch).

                              Lemec, thanks for the comments. I haven't been sure how I'm handling the scene transitions or whether I'm leaving too many gaps for the reader to fill in. I guess the perhaps rather abrupt scene jumps and understated description might give it that flash fictiony feel. I know what I think I'm trying to do, but aren't sure yet if that's what I'm actually doing.

                              LSN, I've got 2 1/2 parts out of nine left to go. Having come this far it would be a shame to abandon it so close to the end so I feel obliged to finish. Then you'll be able to analyse the completed whole, as it were.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                cool, looking forward to the end. I did not see an example of flash fiction so I was just curious if that is what you had created. :D

                                "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
                                - Michael Moorcock

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