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LSN = H.H.Munro reborn?

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  • #31
    Originally posted by mordenkainen
    yes, please do. I can't be of much editorial help, but send it at least for my own pleasure.
    Okay. I've just sent you a copy. Perhaps between you and L'Etranger, I'll receive a scathing denunciation for my literary incompetence. (I believe there's still something not quite right about this story, but I cannot yet identify it.)

    At any rate, if either of you have objections, I'm interested in hearing them.

    LSN

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    • #32
      Excellent comments from L'Etranger. I'll need to consider how this should affect my next revision steps. Here comes revision #7! :roll:

      Really, I don't mind having deficiencies in the work pointed out. As I wrote somewhere, I know there's still something not quite right about the story. L'Etranger's comments put a few of the issues in perspective, and suggest possible solutions. (How he finds time to perform literary critiques is beyond me. The man is busy!) At any rate, if you're messing around with fiction, a friend who will give you unvarnished criticism is a friend indeed.

      If mordenkainen sees additional problems beyond those pointed out by L'Etranger, I'll have a lot of work to do. :oops:

      LSN

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      • #33
        Interesting comments from mordenkainen, too. Coming at it from a different angle, he expressed some of the same reservations and raised some of the same issues as L'Etranger.

        That doesn't mean it'll be easy to satisfy both of these guys. On the contrary, I suspect it may be a bit difficult. I'll see what I can do.

        Thank you, gentlemen.

        Now all I need is to find time to do the writing. I'm kind of (expletive deleted) busy right now. :roll:

        LSN

        Comment


        • #34
          mind you, I never meant that your story is not worth publishing as it is. If one wants to find flaws, one finds them.
          hope I helped anyway, I wasn't sure I was making any sense at all.

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          • #35
            If you prefer next time you can write it en franأ§ais. أ‡a marche.

            LSN

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by mordenkainen
              mind you, I never meant that your story is not worth publishing as it is. If one wants to find flaws, one finds them.
              L'art est un luxe; il veut des main blanches et calmes. On fait d'abord une petite concession, puis deux, puis vingt. On s'illusionne sur sa moralitأ© pendant longtemps. Puis on s'en fout complأ¨tement et puis on devient imbأ©cile.

              (From memory)

              I don't want to make any concessions. The number of imbأ©ciles who do this sort of thing are already too many. If there's a problem, it should be dealt with, I always feel. I may not deal with it in the manner that you or L'Etranger expect, but that's another matter.

              Originally posted by mordenkainen
              hope I helped anyway, I wasn't sure I was making any sense at all.
              I understood well-enough. It was fine, and thank you for the time and effort. I hope it wasn't too painful an experience. Bad enough to read an unsuccessful story. Even worse to be forced to critique one.

              LSN

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              • #37
                Unless I can devise solutions to the problems that L'Etranger and mordenkainen raised, I'm thinking of dropping this stuff and to spend my full time on mathematics. Clearly, the practice of this fiction stuff is fraught with peril. And it's not as if I've made sterling progress on the day-job problem on which I'm currently working!

                By no means shall I quit my day job! Perhaps dispensing with the hobby would be a better choice, unless some illumination from the uncs arrives. :lol:

                LSN

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                • #38
                  So busy. :roll: Maybe I'll get a chance to try to fix "The Joke" sometime this weekend. If so, I can post it here for a short time to get another round of rock throwing.

                  The story may not be worth trying to save.

                  LSN

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by L_Stearns_Newburg
                    So busy. :roll: Maybe I'll get a chance to try to fix "The Joke" sometime this weekend. If so, I can post it here for a short time to get another round of rock throwing.

                    The story may not be worth trying to save.

                    LSN
                    "... not worth to save..." ! Come on, now. There's always something to gain. For instance your own many hours in it already that could finally be justified before yourself. I don't know what Mordenkainen did to you with his critique, but "The Joke" is certainly not beyond salvage. Maybe if youthrow the title overboard, because it might pin you down too much to that end which creates the identity problem ...
                    Google ergo sum

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by LEtranger
                      I don't know what Mordenkainen did to you with his critique
                      me? c'm'on now. I can't write half as good as the guy does.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Is it coquetterie then, or why does the man sound so smitten by what we both wrote him?
                        Google ergo sum

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          If I sound discouraged, it is because you were both correct. I knew there were problems with the text. Sometimes, things like this are fundamentally flawed at a certain level that makes them intractable. On the basis of what I know, the problem has no clean solution -- at this time.

                          I think it is possible to "fix" the story, based on what I know, but I'm not 100% certain I can do it. That's why I'm marking time, waiting for illumination. I've been in this state with a text before. It's ugly. I've gone for 3 months once without a solution to the fundamental problem. One can never be certain when solution will arrive, or if it never will. It's frustrating to wait for the unconscious mind to solve problems like this. From a purely intellectual POV, I know the shape of what needs to be done. From my sense of aesthetics, I know what I would do if I dived in would be markedly unsatisfactory.

                          I'm not bothered by the criticism. I appreciated it immensely. The problem is that it's like a very high obstacle which I cannot figure a way to clear, just yet. If I decide, in time, that I *cannot* solve the problems, I'll just move forward and do something else. No big deal. It's partly my frustration talking, as you see.

                          Add to this that I'm fighting with a problem at work that is proving every bit as intractable as this one, and I feel as if I've got issues from every side right now. :roll:

                          LSN

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                          • #43
                            Well, I completely revised section I. It was painful, but so far, so good. Maybe it'll get finished.

                            Maybe, just maybe, it'll be "fixed" in time for Prototype X, issue 2. My progress has so far been glacial.

                            Coincidentally, I had a breakthrough on the problem at work that's been bedeviling me since March. Progress on all fronts. Still, I'll keep my fingers crossed.

                            LSN

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Having resumed work on "The Joke" after congأ© and "completing" the research project -- in cleanup mode at this point -- having resumed work, I've rewritten the opening section as well as the first piece of first-person narration from the Andrew Freyer character. I appear to be making progress, and that's good news.

                              The bad news: it's growing.

                              The original of this story was around 7500 words. It wasn't right, so I started tinkering, pruning, adjusting, and amplifying. It was around 8000 words when I sent it to L'Etranger and mordenkainen. That's still a short story, albeit at the longish-end of the form.

                              Now, it's already 10,000 words! It's going to be a blasted nouvelle at this rate. Obviously, even if it comes out of this revision as a successful story, it probably won't be able to appear in the next issue of Prototype X.

                              Oh, well.

                              All I can do is push on until it's done.

                              LSN

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                              • #45
                                We could print in in three parts, then? PX 2 to 5 ...
                                Google ergo sum

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