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Those from the BBC should STFU!

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  • Those from the BBC should STFU!

    Well, the results are in, and my entry hasn't been shortlisted for the BBC Sitcom Writers competition. So poo to all of them. My only consolation is... um... I have cool shoes. :(

    In case anyone is curious, here's a list of some of the hot new shows that might be exploding your funny bones in the very near future:

    THE SITCOM WRITER SHORTLIST

    Ectoplasm
    Written by Carol Vine, copy editor, London.

    "Five professionals share a house in suburban London - the domestic harmony is frequently impaired by the gateway to hell, which happens to be located in the back of the sofa."

    House Normal
    Written by Amanda Ward-Baker, housewife, Whitley Bay.

    "Putting aside the BZS ('Benjamin Zephaniah Syndrome') John is the most normal person he knows; his aim in life is to continue to be normal despite his absurd random acquaintances, odd friends and psychotic family."

    Marigold
    Written by Robin Taylor, customer services operator, London.

    "Marigold is a hybrid of the British domestic sitcom, exposing the family members as people trying to be things against their nature."

    On the Fringe
    Written by Lisa Cagnacci, writer/director, London.

    "On the Fringe follows the adventures of Kate and Ellie, two young hopefuls fresh out of drama school who find themselves mired in the grubby, hit-and-miss and often hilariously humiliating world of London fringe theatre."

    Terminal Productions
    Written by Jon Brown, freelance journalist, Northampton.

    "Terminal Productions is a sitcom based in a culturally arid backwater town in which a thirtysomething music agent desperately tries to make his mark on the music industry."

    The Project
    Written by Amanda Dunkley, recruitment consultant and Don Stuart, a teacher, Northumberland.

    "A dysfunctional team of idealist, cynics, opportunists and losers sets out to change the world, but would you trust them to change a light bulb?"

    Sweet Caroline
    Written by Chris Jones, logistics engineer, Shropshire.

    "Early-thirty something Caroline Fisher is a girl with the perfect life, but when her partner of six-and-a-half years informs her that he has met somebody else and no longer loves her, her perfect life falls apart."

    Yummy Mummy
    Written by Susan Cook, psychologist, Teddington.

    "What if Jordan lived in Morden?"
    "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

  • #2
    Um, sorry to sound like a bore, but nothing there looks like it would do anything for me. That Ectoplasm sounds like a comedy version of Silent Hill... or something. Terminal Productions sounds like it may throw up a few decent set-pieces, but who knows?

    It's no wonder I don't watch TV!

    Is it ok to ask what your idea was, or would you rather not post for the fear of having it stolen? :)
    Call me cockey, but if there\'s an alien I can\'t kill, I haven\'t met him and killed him yet!

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    • #3
      You are just to cool for the boring old Beeb, Dee. :)

      Paul

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      • #4
        Help! 2nd occurrence of the abbreviation - what does STFU mean?
        Help us ignorants out so that we can join the discussion, after all I'm a regular reader of BBC online and need to know what you suggest BBC do ...

        And Sweet Caroline was a song title by Neil Diamond in the 70's I think.

        Send mail if too embarassing for an Englishman ...
        Google ergo sum

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        • #5
          STFU = Shut The F*ck Up

          Or at least, that's what I assumed it meant. Krunky used it first, and I was just copying!

          And no, Bob, I'm not worried about anyone stealing my idea, because... well, see for yourself...

          "Sweet Like Vinegar is a sitcom about three twenty-somethings sharing a house, partly based on ‘The Vinegar Tasters’, an allegorical painting concerning the three schools of Chinese philosophy... but with additional fart jokes."

          :oops:

          D...
          "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

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          • #6
            Originally posted by DeeCrowSeer
            STFU = Shut The F*ck Up

            Or at least, that's what I assumed it meant. Krunky used it first, and I was just copying!

            D...
            Oh ! :oops:
            Very sophisticated .... plain language is always best, I see.
            Google ergo sum

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            • #7
              I can't even begin to imagine what that would be like! Sounds quite amusing though...
              Call me cockey, but if there\'s an alien I can\'t kill, I haven\'t met him and killed him yet!

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              • #8
                They all sound like viable reality television shows.
                The cat spread its wings and flew high into the air, hovering to keep pace with them as they moved cautiously toward the city. Then, as they climbed over the rubble of what had once been a gateway and began to make their way through piles of weed-grown masonry, the cat flew to the squat building with the yellow dome upon its roof. It flew twice around the dome and then came back to settle on Jhary's shoulder. - The King of the Swords

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by DeeCrowSeer

                  "Sweet Like Vinegar is a sitcom about three twenty-somethings sharing a house, partly based on �The Vinegar Tasters’, an allegorical painting concerning the three schools of Chinese philosophy...
                  The name you selected implies that the series was designed with a distinctly
                  Taoist slant. Confucians and Buddhists will demand equal footing! :)

                  Really, you make it sound a bit like Friends crossed with The Tao of Pooh.
                  Sounds like a winner. How could they resist? ;)

                  Originally posted by DeeCrowSeer
                  but with additional fart jokes."

                  :oops:
                  D...
                  ...and no doubt with a housemates relieving themselves, Li Po fashion, off
                  the back porch due to inadequacies in the plumbing.

                  LSN

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by L_Stearns_Newburg
                    The name you selected implies that the series was designed with a distinctly Taoist slant. Confucians and Buddhists will demand equal footing! :)
                    Well, Pu to them! (tee hee) But you're right, the Taoist character was my favourite by far and got most of the best lines while the other characters were rearranging the rugs or whining about how cruel life was. There was going to be a fourth character who would be an older "guru" figure they would consult now and again, and he really represented the Discordian view of Chaos as a healthy and vital force. Oh, and he held court at a cafe called "Rose's Revenge"!

                    Originally posted by L_Stearns_Newburg
                    Really, you make it sound a bit like Friends crossed with The Tao of Pooh. Sounds like a winner. How could they resist? ;)
                    Well, I'm not sure how, but resist it they did. It was my attempt at a more mainstream sitcom, but I was hoping to sneak a bit of philosophy and spirituality in here and there. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to write anything like Friends. I'd always want to put zombies or something weird in there.

                    Originally posted by L'Etranger
                    Very sophisticated .... plain language is always best, I see.
                    Curiously enough the longest running "new" sitcom on the BBC is just as "sophisticated" as that. It's called Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, and basically revolves around two young couples who drink, eat crisps and talk about sex in the crudest possible terms. I think it's on to its fourth series now. I despise it, but they obviously have a lot of faith in the thing (entrants to the competition mentioned above were encouraged to download a Two Pints script to see how it should be done). Come to think of it, that's all Coupling is about too. I wonder if there's more to life than drinking and talking about sex?

                    D...
                    "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      "Ectoplasm
                      Written by Carol Vine, copy editor, London.

                      "Five professionals share a house in suburban London - the domestic harmony is frequently impaired by the gateway to hell, which happens to be located in the back of the sofa." "

                      That actually sounds funny, in a philosophical way.

                      "I wonder if there's more to life than drinking and talking about sex?"

                      With the possible exception of having sex and talking about drinking, no.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Bill
                        "Five professionals share a house in suburban London - the domestic harmony is frequently impaired by the gateway to hell, which happens to be located in the back of the sofa." "

                        That actually sounds funny, in a philosophical way.
                        Well, I agree, but it depends how it's played. If the writer isn't tempted to steal lines from Buffy, then fair enough. But what sort of "Hell" do they mean? Is the Devil going to make a zany entrance every week like a demonic Kramer? "Oh no, the boss is coming for dinner, and Satan just stole all of my cake forks to give to tiny demons!!!"

                        Ah well, good luck to them. As a fan of the form, I hope they turn out well and develop into shows I might actually get something out of. Meanwhile, back to the... well, I'm already at the computer, so I don't have to go far to start writing again.

                        D...

                        "Go to London and I promise you'll either be mugged or unappreciated"- Alan Partridge
                        "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Good luck, D. If at first you don't succeed...

                          Just stop wasting all your good material here and put it in the script!! (To someone who never ceases to make me laugh).

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