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Resident Evil: The Movies

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  • Resident Evil: The Movies

    ***** SPOILERS *****

    Sorry Bob, but here I go again...











    First of all, I should admit that I really enjoyed the first Resi movie. I bought the DVD, and I've watched it a number of times since then. I've also just been to see the sequel at the cinema, and quite enjoyed it... although not as much as the first one... but we'll get to that in a second.

    The mistake many people make (especially reviewers) going into these movies is that they expect to see a film. They expect something coherent to occur on screen, and they expect the scenes and dialogue to meld together to create something approaching a plot or, at the very least, an arc. This is patently foolish. This is where they sow the seeds of later disappointments. the Reis movies are just that, "moving pictures". A series of interesting action set pieces with attractive people shooting shiny guns. Bang, bang, car go boom! Zombie go bye-bye! The reason why the first film is better than the second is that the director had the good sense to set the mindless carnage to loud, aggressive heavy metal, to ensure that your adrenaline kept pumping loud enough to drown out the little voice in the back of your head screaming, "This is gibberish!!" Marilyn Manson was sorely missed, in my humble opinion. Aside from that, the director of this movie decided... for no apparent reason to disguise all of the hand-to-hand violence with heavy motion blur and quick cuts, so that the actual physics of the violance made even less sense than the storyline. This was a brazen, and brilliant blow against coherence, and I admire his courage in the face of everything that is sane and logical... sadly this also elimianted the possibility of another movie jump-the-shark moment, like Alice kicking a zombie dog in the head to the sound of Nie Inch Nail's Fist F*ck, which was such a perfectly random kinetic moment that it should have received a standing ovation in the cinema. For this reason, I got very excited when the K-9 Unit appeared on the scene, with all of the cages bent and broken open, in the grounds of the school... zombie dogs and zombie kids? Surely a reliable recipe for hi-jinks? Aparently not. The zombie kids were great... in their single scene... but where did they go? I know kkids these days are supposed to have short attention spans, but if they'd waited around for a few minutes after attacking the reporter they could have eaten all of her friends. Dumb zombie kids. The zombie dogs? Well, they took only man smart enough to try to flirt with Jill, but other than that they were utterly ineffectual. Bad dogs. In theory the fight between Nemesis and Alice should have been the defining melee moment of the final act, but again it was obscured by some sort of post-production hissy fit that threw the picture in every direction but the one which would have allowed it to register with our brains. Gah!

    Obviously, a lot of this probably relates to the fact that the games are rated 18, and the content of the film cries out for an 18 certificate, but because the film producers know that only kids and sad single men [ahem] place so little value on their spare time that they would pay to see these movies. So it has to qualify for a 15. If they ever decided to put the fights back into the fight scenes, I'd be happy to watch this movie again.

    For what it's worth, I laughed my head off all the way through the film. I fear that anyone who took it too seriously, would be demanding their money back after the first twenty minutes... and so they should. RE: Apocalypse is a terrible, terrible stain on the trousers of cinema. It is the low-point of low-art, and the very fact that so much money was wasted on this project is proof positive that Life is very unfair indeed. Personally, given the choice, I prefer to watch good films, with characters and subtext and all of that nutritious stuff... but there's something about these movies... it's as if the hole at the cnetre of their being creates a creative vacuum that sucks me in. Also Milla Jovovich is a pretty lady.

    Er... I presume I'm banned from the fourm now? Thought so.
    "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

  • #2
    All I can say is that you were right to apologise.

    You've left me so beffudled that I can't think of any kind of smart-ass retort!
    Call me cockey, but if there\'s an alien I can\'t kill, I haven\'t met him and killed him yet!

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    • #3
      Well, I'd just got back form the cinema, so my brain is still a little soft and squishy. I think I need a lie down.

      Oh, before that though, I think it's especially funny (or insulting, depending on your point of view) that they've released a "soundtrack" CD for the movie, even though there wasn't a single track in the movie itself. In the past I've heard of people putting two or three extra tracks on a soundtrack to help it sell, but creating an entire album of superfluous songs? That's harsh. In a way I admire their bare-faced greed...
      "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

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      • #4
        I still can't follow your logic. You rip it apart like some rabid member of the undead, but then say you enjoyed it in the next sentence.

        In person, I suspect I'd understand you, but without tone I just get confused. :)

        Get me an inflatable boat, and all will be forgotten!
        Call me cockey, but if there\'s an alien I can\'t kill, I haven\'t met him and killed him yet!

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        • #5
          Youre not banned Dee, we like you to much man.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by McTalbayne
            Youre not banned Dee, we like you to much man.
            Bless you, sir!

            To make amends I went to see Hero this afternoon (a friend had a 2 for 1 deal on tickets), and it goes without saying that it was by far the superior film. I felt the subtitles moved a little too quickly at times, but aside from that I thought the film was very beautiful, and far more thought-provoking than the trailer suggested. I can't say I'm a big fan of martial arts films (Kill Bill aside), but if they all had such fantastic art direction and engaging storylines, I would be. It was also quite amusing in terms of the audacity of the stunts, but even two men flying across water is less unlikely than half of the things that happened in Apocalypse... and at least Hero had the poetry/artistic licenece/fantasy clause to fall back on!

            The thought struck me that, in essence, Hero and Apocalypse are super-hero films. The latter tries to explain it all away with pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo about mutations, but the former just lets the action speak for itself... which seems a much better way of going about things really... less insulting to the audience, anyway.
            "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

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            • #7
              Glad to see someone else having enjoyed Hero.

              I'm eager for the next one from the same team now. I believe it's called House Of the Flying Daggers, and is due for release on Boxing Day.

              I may need two seats if I go on its day of release, as I'll no doubt be brimming with turkey!
              Call me cockey, but if there\'s an alien I can\'t kill, I haven\'t met him and killed him yet!

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              • #8
                Hero was Indeed an excellent movie. I cant wait to get it when it comes out on DVD.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Well, I just put my review of Apocalypse up on PH-UK. Here is the link if you care to have a gander:

                  http://www.ph-uk.co.uk/post/EpAlpplZZFEpwGlUna.shtml
                  Call me cockey, but if there\'s an alien I can\'t kill, I haven\'t met him and killed him yet!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Half a year later ... just having finished 8 days at a documentary festival with serious stuff I sat down last night to relax with a couple of rented DVDs. I hadn't seen "Resident Evil I" (nor do I know the game) and also didn't remember Dee's and Bob's remarks. I wish I had!
                    How terrible, it is more than any shooting orgy I have ever seen before! No plot (other than to lead to the next mass massacre), shallower characters than anything I know. I have now seriously begun to worry about brutalization of a society being the consequence of such kind of movies. Just shooting down assailants in masses, never a second of contemplation that these had all been humans not long ago ...! I stayed through to the end hoping there'd be some turn to the better, and to see what happens to Mila who's an appealing sight.
                    Nauseating. And then I skimmed through the channels looking for something to blot out these impressions ... and on one of the private (that is not public) stations I got right into the next mega shootout: John Carpenter's "Ghosts of Mars". Holy snakes, it was nearly the same: some obscure message that things get out of control, people go berserk and a small motley group of brave cops and civilians with endless supplies of ammunition try their utmost to save themselves, ... and ultimately civilisation (haha). Reminded me of dozens of Westerns with the good guys in the log cabin and crazed, howling injuns (savages, but still humans in those days) all around. At least they often had something of a plot, characterization was already flat, mostly) Now it is just a shadow of a plot and a hundred-fold more brutal. Amazing - in both movies the solution was to bring about a nuclear explosion! General Westmoreland's grandchildren?
                    Google ergo sum

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                    • #11
                      Well... here we go again!

                      Those no sane reason for me to be excited about a new Resi movie, and I'm not... but I will most likely go and see it anyway. The sneaky chaps cast Ali Larter in it too, so they might actually lure fans of Heroes in to see REIII, even if they avoided the first two.

                      Personally, if I had the power to pull strings in Hollywood (like the short fella in Mulholland Drive) I'd make Jovovich go back to doing indie comedies... and get Michelle Rodriguez a franchise worthy of her skills... but sadly I do not have such power.
                      "That which does not kill us, makes us stranger." - Trevor Goodchild

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by DeeCrowSeer View Post
                        Well... here we go again!

                        Those no sane reason for me to be excited about a new Resi movie, and I'm not... but I will most likely go and see it anyway. The sneaky chaps cast Ali Larter in it too, so they might actually lure fans of Heroes in to see REIII, even if they avoided the first two.

                        Personally, if I had the power to pull strings in Hollywood (like the short fella in Mulholland Drive) I'd make Jovovich go back to doing indie comedies... and get Michelle Rodriguez a franchise worthy of her skills... but sadly I do not have such power.
                        hehe! It might actually be a pretty cool movie.

                        I hope that you are granted those powers one day,Dee!

                        I feel myself being tugged to the theater as I write this,part out of curiousity,part of wanting to see the post-apocalyptic version of Las Vegas!

                        I have a feeling that,the casinos buried in sand (Escape from New York/Mad Max style),will only be shown for about two minutes,then the rest of the landscape will be a bunch of dilapidated generic buildings.

                        "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
                        - Michael Moorcock

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