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SECRET OF TIME TRAVEL SOLVED! Jherek & Amelia on the right track after all?

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  • xidrep
    Champion of the Balance
    • Nov 2004
    • 1783

    SECRET OF TIME TRAVEL SOLVED! Jherek & Amelia on the right track after all?

    Correspondents may be interested in the following paper from the journal 'Chrononavigation Today', October 15th 2004 (or thereabouts):

    'Small-Scale Chronic Navigation in Metropolitan Envoironments'
    Dr S. Duyvil, Capt. O Bastable, et al, Molesey Institute of Temporal Exploration (MITE).

    Introduction

    It has been suspected for some time that certain modalities of physical transportation may possess the properties required for Transchronic navigation. The construction of vehicles suitable for these purposes (Wells, 1899, Branson 2001) has been attempted, but problems associated with fine control, or complete failure to adhere to any recognisable schedule have limited the success of such ventures. We have developed a compact pedalocentric geodesic framework utilising an anthropogenic power source that has been observed under controlled studies to reduce the magnitude of the temporo-spatial continuum in the London area.

    Materials

    The MITE R&D Centre (the 'shed') constructed a lightweight conceptual vehicular contrivance, primarily consisting of a modular aluminium alloy space-frame sourced from the technology supplier 'Evans' of Wandsworth. To the nodal extremities of this matrix, two radial constructs based on a centripetal endless strip design were affixed and the outer circumferential boundaries of these coated in advanced technology vulcanised 'Dunlop' tubular interfaces. A cyclical sprocketised system linked by interdigitating metallurgical components to the compound construct referred to as the 'back wheel' was arranged so as to be powered by a 0.2bhp metatarsally actuated alternate transponder. Forward velocity is modulated via a complex mechanism designed by the well-known engineer Mr Sturmey-Archer. The vehicle was completed with a perpendicular control system acting on the forward section, and an organic-lined 'buttock-support unit' for accomodation of the operator.

    Methodology

    The vehicular contrivance was piloted by a laboratory technician who volunteered under threats. Commencing at the Notting Hill End of Ladbroke Grove (locus 061237, 718976) the vehicle was activated and, following an initially sluggish performance up the hill past St John's church, was observed to accelerate in a temporospatial vector that by the stage of the Bassett Road intersection caused measurable shrinkage of the Ladbroke Grove axis in comparison to the progress of a conventional internal-combustion machine operated simultaneously to the experimental design. The experimental mechanism achieved a 'speed' of 19 'Nero's* in 8.2 minutes, as opposed to the internal-combustion figure of only 6 'Nero's in the equivalent period. These results were found to be repeatable, except after 23:00 hours when the operator seemed prone to lose accurate control and caused the vehicle to get stuck in a drain.

    Discussion

    The hypothesis that the experimental vehicle is capable of advanced contracture of the temporo-spatial field is proven. There are some additional considerations, however:
    (a) The operator must be fuelled adequately. Carbohydrate- and lipid-dense organic compounds such as 'Snickers' or 'Mars' units prove suitable.
    (b) The Transchronic shift achieved by the vehicle can be enhanced by the use of 'wormhole'-like phenomena encountered in certain parts of the urban zone. Known as 'Buzz-slain' pathways, these discontinuities link disparate and apparently random loci via a high-speed chronic connexion. However, their use is made hazardous by occassional encounters with substantial 'red giants' operated seemingly without guiding intelligence by beings who steer with their feet, whilst listening to their MP3s and texting on their mobiles. The similar 'Psycho Lane' Network which was formerly believed to be of some facility in the Chronic navigation field has been rendered inoperative by regular obstruction by the singularities commonly referred to as 'Chelsea Tractors'.
    (c) The operator must wear Day-Glo lycra NBC protective clothing and use at least fourteen different lights at all times to avoid their high velocity rendering them invisible to other road users.
    (d) The comparison trial is not valid during school holidays.

    * The 'Nero' is the standard unit of measurement for urban transchronic navigation. It combines the spatial and temporal factors with the human perception of time and space to give a guide as to 'Chronic Velocity'. It is derived from the observation of the 'Cafe Nero', and refers to the number of pseudo-mediterranean pavement cappuccino bars that the chrononaut passes during their time-travelling journey. The measurement is density-dependent and thus varies with radial location out of the metropolitan centre. Thus the Kensington High Street and Chiswick axes have Nero values of 48 and 39 respectively, whilst Dorking has a Nero potential of only eight. Wigan has a rating of one Nero, with the corollary consequence that time has virtually ceased to exist at this locus.

    References

    (1) The Highway Code, HMPO, 1987. pp 3-6.
    (2) Cycle Mechanics for Beginners, Twatt-Hart, D (Editor), Oxford University Press 1991.
    (3) 'Relativity and that sort of stuff', Bohr, N in New Scientist #9786, 1968.


    Just thought some of you might be interested!

    Darren 'perdix' Partridge

    Too much coffee again...
  • xidrep
    Champion of the Balance
    • Nov 2004
    • 1783

    #2
    TT

    PS. The sub-heading should read 'Jherek and Amelia on the right track after all?' making it a 'Q', if only in terms of rhetorical journalese...

    AND typo - of course 'Environments' not 'Envoironments' - unless you want to pronounce it loik Dick Van Dyke or Lloyd Grosman...

    AND...I was going to put in the joke about 'Tachxions' - particles of Dark Matter characterised by random motion and whose pathway and position cannot possibly be guessed from one moment to the next, but to be honest I'd lost the will to live by that point.

    I'm off now 8O

    Darren P

    Comment

    • xidrep
      Champion of the Balance
      • Nov 2004
      • 1783

      #3
      Look. I wouldn't want to overdo the synchronicity thing, right, but anyone interested might just want to have a look at today's Sunday Telegraph (Review) Nov 14 '04. Hum.
      AND in the main part of same paper - front page headline: 'God gene' VMAT2! I always knew it....

      What a day...

      Comment

      • xidrep
        Champion of the Balance
        • Nov 2004
        • 1783

        #5
        Oh Crikey, Ma. Me spheres are conjunctionalising again... :o

        Comment

        • xidrep
          Champion of the Balance
          • Nov 2004
          • 1783

          #7
          It's like playing a tune on a Wilson Epicyclic Gearbox Mr M!

          Here's another little North London vignette.

          I went for a little cycle about the area from the surgery a couple of days ago, and trolled aimlessly down the side streets of Ladbroke Grove. Suddenly, I found myself at the junction of St Mark's Road and Cambridge Gardens - when with unbidden recall I realised that I was at the scene of the events connected with The Ghost Bus of Kensington of the 1930's: A story that has fascinated me for years.

          A little frisson of recognition ran though me, and I hung around, taking in the scene. I was quite tempted to go back in the early hours for a vigil, but thought better of it. I'd probably wait all night, and then three ghost buses would all turn up at once.

          >sigh<

          Comment

          • Michael Moorcock
            Site Host
            • Dec 2003
            • 14278

            #8
            I'm not sure there ARE three Number 15s left, ghostly or otherwise, but any chance to ride a Routemaster should be taken, I think. Of course, if the ghost bus has been privatised it could be broken down somewhere in Limbo waiting while they try to find a ghost replacement.

            Pre-order or Buy my latest titles in Europe:
            The Whispering Swarm: Book One of the Sanctuary of the White Friars - The Laughter of Carthage - Byzantium Endures - London Peculiar and Other Nonfiction
            Doctor Who: The Coming of the Terraphiles - Kizuna: Fiction for Japan - Modem Times 2.0 - The Sunday Books - The Sundered Worlds


            Pre-order or Buy my latest titles in the USA:
            The Laughter of Carthage - Byzantium Endures - London Peculiar and Other Nonfiction - The Sunday Books - Doctor Who: The Coming of the Terraphiles
            Kizuna: Fiction for Japan - The Sundered Worlds - The Winds of Limbo - Modem Times 2.0 - Elric: Swords and Roses

            Comment

            • xidrep
              Champion of the Balance
              • Nov 2004
              • 1783

              #9
              We used to get the Routemaster No93 from North Cheam to Morden Baths on Saturdays. Me, Dave Hunt and his brother Terry.

              One Saturday, we were trundling up the climb from Stonecot Hill, sucking on sherbert dip-dabs and popping Space Dust (a legit but doubtless E-number toxic '70's powder that exploded in the mouth). We were discussing raiding strategies on the Garth Road Tip to obtain essential pramwheels for our next go-kart rebuilds. Suddenly, Terry (our senior) made a proposition:

              'Let's jump off before it stops!'

              This was an exciting but futile venture, as the bus stopped directly outside the baths. However, our boyish spirits were fired, and I generously offered to let the other two go first (I'm not that stupid).
              The Routemaster slowed as it negotiated the far side of the inverted parabola that is Morden Road. Dave stepped forward first. He stood, splayed like an Arnhem parachutist at the yawning void of the bus' platform. Then he was gone, gracefully landing at the run on the pavement, his blonde head bobbing in victorious leaps.

              Next up was Terry. He hesitated, jaw set grimly, brow furrowed. The bus lurched, banking like a climbing SE5. He launched himself into space...

              ...and smacked into a lamp-post with a sickening crunch, his nose exploding in a cherry-red bloom.

              'Sod that' I mused, and sat down again.

              I got off at that baths.

              He's never been the same since.

              Comment

              • Michael Moorcock
                Site Host
                • Dec 2003
                • 14278

                #10
                My cousin and I were not a million miles away jumping on and off the Routemasters as they made the sharp turn around at Putney Common.
                Glad nothing like that happened to me. Might have done him a bit of good, though... :)

                Pre-order or Buy my latest titles in Europe:
                The Whispering Swarm: Book One of the Sanctuary of the White Friars - The Laughter of Carthage - Byzantium Endures - London Peculiar and Other Nonfiction
                Doctor Who: The Coming of the Terraphiles - Kizuna: Fiction for Japan - Modem Times 2.0 - The Sunday Books - The Sundered Worlds


                Pre-order or Buy my latest titles in the USA:
                The Laughter of Carthage - Byzantium Endures - London Peculiar and Other Nonfiction - The Sunday Books - Doctor Who: The Coming of the Terraphiles
                Kizuna: Fiction for Japan - The Sundered Worlds - The Winds of Limbo - Modem Times 2.0 - Elric: Swords and Roses

                Comment

                • xidrep
                  Champion of the Balance
                  • Nov 2004
                  • 1783

                  #11
                  Not far away at all! The 93 turned around at Putney Bridge.

                  The demise of the Routemaster in favour of those ghastly utilitarian slabs is another commence de siecle (made that up) tragedy like the loss of Concorde, which has ceased to rattle my windows. I miss the sight of a golden dart curving away towards the West...

                  Mind you, we've got the 'Duck Bus' now! Goes to the London Wetlands Centre (er...a pond in Barnes). It's got nice little duckies down the side and hydropneumatic suspension.

                  Sadly, it's still covered in gob, chewing-gum and graffiti like all the other buses. Man U! Man U! (But youre a Londoner!?) Man U! Man U!

                  A child's single to 1978, please driver! (or conductor if we're lucky).

                  Comment

                  • Michael Moorcock
                    Site Host
                    • Dec 2003
                    • 14278

                    #12
                    Don't worry. That No 15 will be along in a minute and take us to the real world again, where war, social violence and ugly buses simply don't exist.
                    It's all going to be okay. Honest it is. Honest.

                    Pre-order or Buy my latest titles in Europe:
                    The Whispering Swarm: Book One of the Sanctuary of the White Friars - The Laughter of Carthage - Byzantium Endures - London Peculiar and Other Nonfiction
                    Doctor Who: The Coming of the Terraphiles - Kizuna: Fiction for Japan - Modem Times 2.0 - The Sunday Books - The Sundered Worlds


                    Pre-order or Buy my latest titles in the USA:
                    The Laughter of Carthage - Byzantium Endures - London Peculiar and Other Nonfiction - The Sunday Books - Doctor Who: The Coming of the Terraphiles
                    Kizuna: Fiction for Japan - The Sundered Worlds - The Winds of Limbo - Modem Times 2.0 - Elric: Swords and Roses

                    Comment

                    • xidrep
                      Champion of the Balance
                      • Nov 2004
                      • 1783

                      #13
                      Erm...If it's all the same to you, Mike, can we go the other way?

                      My bus-pass doesn't extend into Reality Zone.

                      Too scary.

                      Comment

                      • xidrep
                        Champion of the Balance
                        • Nov 2004
                        • 1783

                        #15
                        In that case!

                        Ding! Ding!

                        No standing on the top deck please!

                        Stopping at: The Mandelbrot Cafe, Notting Hill
                        Stalingrad Library
                        The Tethys Sea Beach Bar
                        Mullion RNAS Airship Station
                        Cierva's Factory
                        Rowe Island Nature Reserve
                        Morden Baths
                        The Valley of the Dawn
                        and...........Sutton Bus Garage!

                        Hoorah!

                        Comment

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