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Address change in Paris

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  • Oren
    replied
    Originally posted by Doc
    I'm stealing some of your ideas...
    Naturally, my dear Doc, naturally...

    A doctor is lowered on a wire.
    Doctor: Good morning.
    Mrs O: Oh, morning, doctor.
    Doctor: How's the old arm this morning, Mrs Ikon?
    Mrs Trepidatious: Oh, it's still hanging off at the shoulder.
    Doctor: Good, well lets have a look at it, shall we? (he tries unsuccessfully to open his bag) Oh damn, damn, damn, damn... damn this wretched bag... oh the wretched, damn, bloody, little bag. It's the one thing I hate about being a doctor - it's this wretched bloody little bag!
    He smashes a chair over it and finally produces a revolver and shoots the lock off. It opens and is stuffed full of pound notes, some of which spill out. He feels inside... eventually pulls out a stethoscope.
    Doctor: What's that doing here? (he throws it away)
    Cut to another doctor walking along a street. The stethoscope flies out of window and lands on him.
    Second Doctor: (brushing it off) Eurgggh!
    Cut back to the first doctor still rummaging in black bag. Eventually, he produces a pair of black kid gloves and a black handkerchief. He folds it and puts it on and points the gun at Mrs Trepidatious.
    Doctor: Hand over the money. (she goes to a sideboard opens the bottom drawer and gets out a money box which she gives to him) Come on, all of it! (she looks scared; he jabs the gun at her; she goes over to a painting of a wall-safe on the wall and pushes it aside to reveal an identical wall-safe underneath. She opens it and a hand comes out holding a money box; she takes and gives it to the doctor) Yes, that seems to be OK. Right! I'll just test your reflexes! (he opens his mac like a flasher; they scream and jump) Right, now then, everything seems to be OK, I'll see you next week. Keep collecting the pensions, and try not to spend too much on food. (he starts to go up)
    Mrs Trepidatious: Thank you, doctor. (he disappears)

    Cut to a hospital ward. A man in bed, a chair with his clothes on it at the foot of the bed. A doctor entes and goes right for the jacket and starts to feel in the pockets.
    Doctor: Morning, Mr Henson ... How are we today?
    Henson: Not too bad, doctor.
    Doctor: OK, take it easy ... (he empties his wallet and puts it back) Expecting any postal orders this week?
    Henson: No.
    Doctor: Righto.
    A nurse comes and gets the loose change. The doctor goes to the next bed where there is a man entirely in traction.
    Doctor: Ah, Mr Rodgers, have you got your unemployment benefit please? Right. Well can you write me a cheque then... please?
    The patient writes him a cheque. He goes to the foot of the bed. There is a graph with a money symbol on it. He marks it down further.
    Doctor: Thank you very much. Soon have you down to nothing. Ah, Mr Millichope. (he smiles and leaves, passing a man with a saline drip full of coins; chink of money)

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  • Doc
    replied
    I'm stealing some of your ideas...

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  • David Mosley
    replied
    Or prehaps he meant 'wiffy' with regards to the Parisian sewage system?

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  • Oren
    replied
    Are you sure the landlord said "wifi"? Maybe he actually said: "Oui, Fi", meaning that Fiona, the neighbour, has Internet connection?

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  • Mikey_C
    replied
    We are all thieves...

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  • lemec
    replied
    strange, never heard this argument before...


    I did hear Bono and U2 sing "every poet is a thief,"but it clearly does not mention anything about our friendly landlords!


    plus,I realize you speak philosophy, but landlords are not thieves, they are part of the system like anyone else, they have to pay taxes and pay the bank. They are just another link in the someone paying someone game, right?
    haha!

    don't take me seriously,on this!

    -Lem'

    Leave a comment:


  • Heiron
    replied
    Hmm...whatever.
    I have no problem,even deleting my "landlord" posts would be ok.
    But hey,no landlord had wi-fi for me! :(

    Leave a comment:


  • Morgan Kane
    replied
    ownership is theft

    Originally posted by redbeard
    Please explain to me how you substantiate this statement. I've worked myself into an early grave to own what little I do and it's not very bloody much. So have I spilt blood, sweat and tears to be considered nothing more than a common theif?
    the phrase is from Proudhon, one of the first theoricians of anarchy .

    Owmnership is a social and legal notion, the meaning of which has changed in the capitalist society.

    In most cases it is a mean of coercition, of violence against other people ...

    Coercition of the landlord against the tenant, of the boss against the worker and so on ........

    The type of ownership Proudhon is speaking of is the property of the means of production and essential goods as water, energy, logement and so on ....

    Leave a comment:


  • David Mosley
    replied
    Interesting how we've gone from one very specific complaint against one very specific landlord (viz. Mike's wifi*) to claims that all landlords are liars and cheats and their tenants aren't any better.

    Perhaps it's time to steer discussions back into calmer waters, chaps?

    Or I can move the relevant comments to "Reasoned Debate" if you prefer.


    *Which I assume includes broadband/internet access because the two aren't quite the same.

    Leave a comment:


  • Heiron
    replied
    Well,one can argue that every person is a liar.But hey,landlords are like merchants,right?And they do have a product so a little lie is always there for the "customers".I had a good landlord,actually she was the last one.But I have some bad experiences having studied in 2 cities and changed some flats.
    I was an excellent tennant!Hell,I even left some things to the last landlord...(actually I just decided it was too much for me to carry...If I had a van I would steal some of her books;interesting library she had but it was her aunt's and she never looked at the books)

    Leave a comment:


  • redbeard
    replied
    Originally posted by Morgan Kane
    ownership is theft
    Please explain to me how you substantiate this statement. I've worked myself into an early grave to own what little I do and it's not very bloody much. So have I spilt blood, sweat and tears to be considered nothing more than a common theif?

    Leave a comment:


  • Morgan Kane
    replied
    ownership is theft

    Leave a comment:


  • redbeard
    replied
    All tennants are mischievious little monsters!

    Leave a comment:


  • redbeard
    replied
    Originally posted by Heiron
    Landlords are evil,most of the time...And liars,always.
    Do not be so quick to judge us all, my tennants have no qualms (at least if they know whats good for them)! :D
    Last edited by redbeard; 10-03-2006, 07:31 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Mikey_C
    replied
    Landlord

    Jim Page

    Here he comes, lookin' for the rent,
    His greedy yellow eyes and his tongue all bent,
    Padlocked pockets and bad luck nose
    Sniffin' 'round my doorway and goin' through my clothes.
    Oh how could you treat me so cold?
    Got a mortgage on my body and the deeds of my soul.

    I've a run-down room with a two-way roof.
    That man's a thief. I've even got the proof.
    He likes to take, he doesn't like to give.
    I have to pay him rent just to have a place to live.
    Hey you, I know you well;
    You run a rock-and-roll tavern and a greasy hotel.
    You misuse a lot of people. You're such a greedy man.
    I have to put gloves on in case I touch your hand.
    Oh how could you treat me so cold?
    Got a mortgage on my body and the deeds of my soul.

    You go sneakin 'round windows to see what you can see.
    You unlock doors where you've got no right to be.
    Your legs are weak. You've been tellin' lies.
    Some day somebody's gonna get wise.
    You're gonna get evicted out in the street,
    No food in your belly and no shoes on your feet
    You're gonna walk around from door to door
    But nobody's gonna want to see you anymore.
    Oh how could you treat me so cold?
    Got a mortgage on my body and the deeds of my soul.

    You're gonna wake up down here on the street,
    Bricks and mortar lyin' round your feet.
    Treat me cold now, cold as you please
    Come next winter the two of us will freeze.
    Oh landlord,
    How could you treat me so cold?
    Bastards!

    Leave a comment:

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