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The Laughter of Carthage (humour)

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  • The Laughter of Carthage (humour)

    I don't know if there is a humour thread but I thought I might put this up... This turned up in my inbox today....

    NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
    "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.
    They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
    As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."
    When asked to comment on the arrest, George W. Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
    Aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
    Does it follow that I reject all authority? Perish the thought. In the matter of boots, I defer to the authority of the boot-maker.
    Bakunin

  • #2
    Originally posted by Groakes
    I don't know if there is a humour thread but I thought I might put this up... This turned up in my inbox today....

    NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
    "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.
    They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
    As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."
    When asked to comment on the arrest, George W. Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
    Aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

    Excellent!


    Great Idea for a thread, Groakes!

    "With a deep, not-unhappy sigh, Elric prepared to do battle with an army." (Red Pearls)
    - Michael Moorcock

    Comment


    • #3
      A good one !


      Bush is a specialist

      That' s a translation in French, if somebody can post the originals, i will edit the post

      "
      Rappelez-vous seulement que ce sont les oiseaux qui sont censés souffrir, pas les chasseurs"—Donnant des conseils au sénateur et chasseur de caille Pete Domenici (NM), à Roswell, Nouveau Mexique, Jan. 22, 2004

      "Vous voyez, les nations libres sont des nations pacifiques. Les nations libres ne s'attaquent pas entre elles. Les nations libres ne fabriquent pas d'armes de destruction massive."—Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003. C'est vrai, qui se rappelle aujourd'hui d'Hiroshima ?...

      "L'ambassadeur et le général m'ont informé de... de ce que la grande majorité des irakiens souhaitaient vivre dans un monde pacifique et libre. Et nous allons trouver ces gens et les livrer à la justice."—Washington, D.C., Oct. 27, 2003

      "On a eu un bon conseil des Ministres, on a parlé de beaucoup de problèmes. Le Ministre de la Défense nous a informé de notre désir de répandre la liberté et la paix dans le monde."—Washington, D.C., Août. 1, 2003

      "C'est très intéressant, quand on y pense : tous ces esclaves qui sont partis d'ici pour l'Amérique, à cause de leur ténacité, de leur religion, et de leur croyance dans la liberté, ont contribué à changer l'Amérique""—Dakar, Sénégal, Juillet 8, 2003 On a vachement du leur demander leur avis au esclave croyant à la liberté....

      "Il y a un vieux dicton dans le Tennessee—Je sais que c'est au Texas, probablement dans le Tennessee—qui dit, trompez-moi une fois, honte sur—honte sur vous. Trompez-moi—vous ne pourrez plus être trompés."—Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 Prenez un chewing-gum Emile....

      "J'aime cette idée d'une école dans laquelle les gens viennent s'instruire et restent dans l'état dans lequel ils sont."

      "Depuis maintenant un siècle et demi, l'Amérique et le Japon ont formé l'une des plus grandes et des plus fortes alliances des temps modernes. De cette alliance est née une ère de paix dans le Pacifique." —Tokyo, Février. 18, 2002 Apparemment, George W. Bush oublie un tout petit détail : la Deuxième Guerre Mondiale... ....

      "Ils m'ont mal sous-estimé"—Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000
      “You see, the free nations are peaceful nations. The free nations are not attacked between them. The free nations do not manufacture weapons of massive destruction. ” - Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003.

      “The ambassador and the general informed me of… of what the large majority of Iraqi wished to live in a peaceful and free world. And we will find these people and will deliver them to justice. ” - Washington, D.C., Oct. 27, 2003

      “There was the good Council of Ministers, one spoke about many problems. The Minister for Defense informed us of our desire to spread freedom and peace in the world. ” - Washington, D.C., August. 1, 2003

      “It is very interesting, when one thinks of it: all these slaves who left from here for America, because of their tenacity, their religion, and their belief in freedom, contributed to change America "" - Dakar, Senegal, July 8, 2003

      “There is an old saying in Tennessee I know that it is in Texas, probably in Tennessee-which says, mislead me once, shame on-shame on you. Mislead-me you could not be misled any more. ” - Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

      “I like this idea of a school in which people come to inform themselves and remain in the state in which they are.”

      “Since now a century and half, America and Japan formed one of largest and strongest alliances of modern times. From this alliance was born one era from peace in the Pacific.” - Tokyo, February. 18, 2002

      “They badly underestimated me” - Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

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      • #4

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